Why love fades away after marriage?

India
July 13, 2010 8:03am CST
I would like to know from you friends why love fades away after marriage? I have personally seen many couples who say that there is no much love between them after marriage. I have heard wives complaining about husbands and husbands complaining about wives for ignoring them after marriage. What is the reason behind this. Do you think that love is such a thing which loses its importance after marriage? How to keep love in the same manner even after marriage?
2 people like this
18 responses
@besthope44 (12145)
• India
3 Aug 10
Well its not faded as long as the when we keep loving!
• India
28 Jul 10
I would like to say that it is not the love that fades away after marriage.It depends on person.More responsibilities will be there when we get married.Sometime we forget to concentrate on our loved ones so naturally we feel sad. So if its happens continuously than same happens to everyone of us "love fades away after marriage" so lets show our love , care and respect to our loved ones like before.
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
I think that way before during the early years of marriage, I though I don't love my husband anymore and same as my husband that he doesn't love me also because he has no time for me, we seldom talked to each other. But I was totally wrong, we still love each other, only that we are both busy with our career. When we got married, both our careers are on the developing stage to higher level. We are also busy on how to handle having kids. Our mind are full of stuff on building our family, having our own house, on financial management, etc.. Without knowing that we have neglected our relationship as husband and wife and as lovers as well. As we realized our situation, we started dating again, dine out just the two of us. The love is still there it doesn't fade away, it is only set aside, waiting to be discovered again.
• India
27 Jul 10
It depends on the two lovers.couple should understand each other as well.Love is always there for you and for me I want to marry whom I loved and my love for him never fade.
@abhi000 (235)
• India
23 Jul 10
I think after marriage love fades away because the grass on the other side looks greener so the men somewhat gets fed up being with the same person.I think to keep love in the same manner,you need to have faith in each other.
• Philippines
14 Jul 10
Hi Concept001, Can I just disagree with you on the note that love fades away after marriage? There are a lot of things to be considered before a couple should decide to marry in the first place. People marry for a specific reason or a number of reasons. Sadly there are people who marry for convenience. These are people who think of marriage as a security blanket, something that would give him or her the opportunity to live a better life, to belong to a well known family, or to have financial stability, initially without love, thinking that it could come later or they will learn to love their partners in the long run. There are those who choose to marry to escape a past. Even others would marry to beat single-hood in old age. Some others would marry because they believe marriage is a guaranty of keeping a loved one for life and still others marry for many a different reasons, but there are also people who marry for one and only one reason and that is love. Obviously except for the last group, people marry not because they do not always have love and therefore, most kinds of marriages are already doomed the day the couples exchanged vows although some others may succeed in the end. But normally, a marriage that lasts a lifetime are those that are founded in love. I don't think that love ever fades away, even if they choose to part ways. In marriage, a couple gets too comfortable sometimes in the thought that they have each other for keeps and sometimes take the partner for granted but this does not mean they loved any less. True love never fades away for even if sometimes you feel for granted, you have all the reasons and desire to forgive and understand your mate, and this much is true. But come to think of it, if you have enough love and love is the single basis of marrying your spouse, you couldn't take him or her for granted, that is for sure because you will always look after your husband or your wife's concern, simply put, this is pure love for one another that no amount of hardships and difficulties will ever come in between. Marriage is not a game and therefore, if one must marry he should marry for the right reason or reasons and it is important to marry the one he truly loves and not someone he plans to fall in love with afterward because most likely, it wont happen. Have a nice day!
@meirhu (367)
• Israel
14 Jul 10
Romantic love fades away whether people get married or not. It's not built to last the test. In order for a relationship to continue it has to evolve to another kind of love, one that doesn't idealize the partner but accepts hir with ALL the faults. This is one of the reasons why I founded my "School of Love"
• Philippines
14 Jul 10
I dont think it will unless you allow it. or your not really fully buy out with the marriage. for me why get married and then after the marriage the love will just fade away. I think the most important thing to do is to know the person very well and think a thousand times if you really love the person and willing go give and sacrifice everything.
@fake_you (391)
• Philippines
14 Jul 10
I think it fades because the relationship they had before marriage is not really that strong. Also, it might mean that friendship between them is gone. I think a relationship that is built on friendship will never be lost.
@ruzzel016 (241)
• Philippines
14 Jul 10
I think love will fade if you are not made a good disicion and choice or whom to marry but there are people that when they marriage to someone they don't show there to there partner but they do it in action because there're thinking that this person is mine forever, but the love is always there.
@Angelgirl16 (2177)
• United States
13 Jul 10
Hi, It sad, but true that love seems to disappear when the two love birds get married. Why this is is not a mystery. Before you get married, most of the couples don't live together. So, they are equally in love, but seperately incharge of their own day to day decisions about what to eat, what movies to watch, where to spend the money, what friends can come over, etc. Then comes the combining of one's life ingredients with another's and sometimes the mixture doesn't "gel" together too well. Instead of downsizing from both partners, one may want to take charge of the entire lifelong relationship. That will never work. There must be respect and mutual willingness to honor each other as an individual and as an equal partner. Wivies should keep themselves looking just as gorgeous as they looked before the marriage. Does one really get married to become a slob? I don't think so. I don't mean walking around the house in high heels and thick makeup, but clean and fresh. Men should keep themselves in shape as well. However, with time our physical appearances will change. But, with effort while young this won't be so dramtic. Fun should remain in a marriage. Having date nights is becoming more and more popular with married couples. A couple that plays together (not the guys with the guys and the gals with the gals)stay together, most of the time. Marriage is like riding on a seesaw, one minute it's up and the next minute it is down, but unlike the seesaw where this is fun, marriage needs to have a balanced position.
• United Arab Emirates
13 Jul 10
No love does not fade...its just that they concentrate on their responsibilities. When they live in seperate houses they have a lot to talk. but living togather they are short of topics. They also know more about each other. The unknown is revealed and they start to point out the mistakes and try to correct each other. You need to keep your priorities in place. Plan a holidy with your spouse. Try feel happy in their happiness and dont miss an opportunity to appreciate each other.
• India
13 Jul 10
I think love never fades. It is the two person (Husband and wife) who helps the love to fade. Why? Let it be Arranged Marriage or Love Marriage, when we meet our Would be Husband/Wife we take 1 hr to get ready like selecting best dress, best hair style, best foot wear, even best make-up and best Perfume. But After marriage i have seen many wife becoming fat, even when the husband come in the evening Wife's does fresh up themselves. In the same way Husband on Saturday and sunday feels the day of holiday and take rest at home. Instead they can go out with wife's. And understanding between husband and wife is very important. Personally my wife is a teacher, she goes at 8'o clock in the morning and come at 3.45pm. I work in a MNC company where i have night shift and i go at 4.00 pm and come at 4.00 am. We never find time to spend with each other but on Saturday and Sunday we see to it that we spend maximum time with each other like going out for a walk, or to a park, to watch movie. Showing affection publicly also make happy your partner
@annavi23 (6302)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
hi there,i guess it depends on the two of you.couples need to understand each other as well.love will always be there and for me i want to marry the one that i will not be tired of loving.cause whatever happens you will always have each other.so let love be with you always.
@elvieb02 (696)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
Love fades and what keeps marriage intact is the friendship that the couple built during their marriage. I don't think that true love fades but maybe false love or shallow love does. So people who marry with shallow or false love cannot continue this kind of love and in a process, lose love within marriage.
@narayan2006 (2955)
• India
13 Jul 10
In fact,real love hardly diminishes after marriage,it continues in the midst of all situations and surroundings. Some persons get into marriage with huge expectations of receiving from his/her partner and are more concerned about their individualistic interest,tastes and needs. Love is more concerned about caring,giving,sharing and uniting with one's partner,in all aspects of life. The real challenge in sustaining love lies in understanding the true meaning of love and practically applying it in real life. Love is not one sided; it is the fruit of mutual efforts to balance the marriage life by minimizing the differences of all kinds, and respecting and complimenting each others views. Emotional immaturity and ego greatly contribute to damage the relationship. Thanks.
@knicnax (2234)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
It's because people tend to be more secure when they're already married. They know that even if they don't put much effort the wife/husband would still be there
@Amanda81587 (3046)
• United States
13 Jul 10
I think love fades when people become bored with each other. After a while when people feel totally comfortable with another they seem in a sense to get lazy. This does not mean that you don't love that person it just simply means you may not be in love with this person.