do you have to hate your friend when...
By chiumee
@chiumee (850)
Philippines
July 13, 2010 5:48pm CST
recently, i had a bad experience from my friend. i counted him to be my friend as we have been classmates and workmates for the longest time since college. but i went into this situation when i couldn't ask him a favor which i am in bad need for help. he was my last hope to solve my problem. but when i asked him for some assistance, he immediately refused and stopped the discussion i was just starting by saying "no i can't as i have set this day not to go anywhere, i am tired. can't you see i am getting sick already?" wow! i became speechless. after an hour or two, he approached me saying, "buddy, i think my clothes won't get dry until i leave, so can you just collect them, fold them properly and put them inside my cabinet when they get dried up?" WHOAH! wait a minute i said to myself. who is this talking to me like this? i realized, he was my friend talking behind me. i didn't know what to answer. instead i felt burning in my sanity like i wanted to explode. my disappointment became anger. i felt like i wish i didn't meet him at all. why do i have to have such a friend.
6 responses
@babymc23 (153)
• Philippines
14 Jul 10
wow, The nerve. I mean friendship like any other relationship should be give or take. I don't want to be biased. Was i possible that what you asked him was really way out of his league? I mean if it were me, if asked nicely and properly, I do what I can to help out and if I really can't then I decline in a nice way as well.
The reason I reacted that way, was because your friend sounds like someone I know. This person always 'demands' favors but if you ask him, he will decline. People are already trying to avoid giving him favors.
I do hope your friend will not end up like that.
@chiumee (850)
• Philippines
14 Jul 10
i never realized he is like that until i invited him to be working with me at my workplace. you are absolutely right. he only knows a person when he asks for a favor and he is really really good at asking favors. he can be the 'sweetest talker' i have met. as a matter of fact, he even treated me like i was a convenient store when he saw me carrying a box of drinking water. then he remembered he needed to buy his own as well, he opted instead to ask me like this: hey buddy, can i just buy some of your bottled water? how much would you charge me for each? DUH! i answered him by saying get how many you want and change it when you buy for yourself! the nerve!
he knows what he is doing by the way. he feels and understands when people start to avoid him. he would stop approaching them and let some time pass. then he would start over again and again after some sort of "day off" from these disappointed people. and keep gaining benefits from them every time.
@Angelgirl16 (2171)
• United States
15 Jul 10
Hi,
I'm going to answer the last question you asked, first. You don't have to have a friend like that. It is your choice to allow him into your life. Now, if he can't do you any favors then you certainly are under no obligation to do him any. Sort of, you scratch my back and I'll scratch your. He really sound as if he is very aggressive and is unaware of hs bad behavior.
Maybe a little face to face conversation about the friendship wouldn't be a bad idea if it is bothering you enough. You shouldn't walk around with a "chip" on your shoulder or anger in your heart. Clear the air, for better or worse.
@chiumee (850)
• Philippines
16 Jul 10
that one was actually the heaviest so far among the many times he tried to take advantage on me. well, i just don't know how and when can i let go of this in front of him. i am just making the ambiance a little bit neutral but i never listen to his requests any longer. i leave him with nothing done when he asks any. this should give him any idea why i am not interested in him about anything. until we just talk about work, then i make the conversation easy and quite reasonable time frame and then i leave.
@Angelgirl16 (2171)
• United States
16 Jul 10
Hi chiumee,
I glad to hear that you and your friend don't do this very often. You are doing the right thing, keeping your distance and keeping the conversation lite. If your friend doesn't realize that something in wrong between you then just let it go and just take care of yourself.
Have a good day
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
15 Jul 10
Oh my,is he really a friend of yours?
You been together for many years and does he really treat you like a good friend,like you do?
Friendship is a give and take relationship,and not a one way road for one person to take advantage of.
If your friend is treating you like this,then,you are too good to be true to stay with him.
Give him a little does of his own medicine to make him realize that,you are also need to be treated fair.
@Metatronik (6199)
• Pasay, Philippines
14 Jul 10
WHAT A FRIEND? Sounds like he is treating you like a maid already by doing that nerve. Have you expressed your anger to him? Just let him know what he is doing that hoping he will realize he is wrong and that is not friendship anymore. For sure if he is the one that is in need the first person that he will approach will be you.
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
15 Jul 10
sorry for it :( maybe he just was angry that day. talk with him and tell him you didnt like his attitude. maybe he will say sorry to you and wont do that again^^ anyway dont be so upset for sure he didnt mean to hurt you right?^^ just tell him what you felt and for sure he will say sorry :) im sure he was just upset with something and discounted on you^^
@chiumee (850)
• Philippines
16 Jul 10
he said sorry at that time. he did so when i told him that it was really very upsetting to me when he just refused me. and later i found out that he was entertaining his so called "friends" with open arms in the house. so i said, forget about it. he would say sorry just to please me that he was knowing how to say sorry.
