What do you do in this kind of situation?
By SinfulRose
@SinfulRose (3527)
Davao, Philippines
July 26, 2010 10:39am CST
Everyday is like the other day with that person. You try to be a new person everyday by putting a smile on your face and thinking of happy thoughts. You are doing well and going fine until a person in your family suddenly burst your bubble. You see their stress-stricken face with a rude statement to you. That person always sees all the bad things you do and count them all in your face every single day. I won't say whether that person in close to you or not. But you are living under the same roof. You have some similarities but you try to change it for the better because you don't like that attitude. But you also have very opposite perspective of things. You try to be patient while he's all impatient like a kid and treats you like a kid. If you are in this kind of situation, what will you do?
I wish you'll be serious in this because I am living with such a kind of person. I don't know anymore what to do since everything I do to reconcile with that person never works. Leaving is not an option since I am still not able to support myself. I am stretching my patience too much I'm afraid I'll break too soon. I am not begging you to help me, but if you would, I would deeply appreciate it. I think I'll need to consult a psychologist soon or else I'll go crazy with the atmosphere he exudes...__
8 responses
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
26 Jul 10
Good day SinfulRose,
You didn't say what is your relation with that person,you just wrote here that you were living under one roof.
Ok,if that person is older than you or your one of your parent,there is nothing you can do but talk with that person,heart to heart.
Tell that person about your feelings.
It's not really easy to live with someone who had ill feelings towards you.
Someone who always sees the wrong in you,someone who wants you to do everything/anything they want even if your inner being resists.
Since you said that you are still not capable of living alone,then,you better face that person.
There is no other way but to talk with him/her.
Hope everything will be fine
@SinfulRose (3527)
• Davao, Philippines
26 Jul 10
So it's all about talking.
There is no way softening that guy with words or even tears. I learned that the hard way. That's why I stuck with stretching my little patience...
But, still, thanks for that good response! ^^
@SinfulRose (3527)
• Davao, Philippines
26 Jul 10
That's what I'm doing for the past few months. Still, nothing gets to him. He's a S-T-O-N-E. I think he can defend my plants better than the tallnuts in my game in Plants vs. Zombies. LOL
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
26 Jul 10
If tears can't soften the heart of that person,then,try the other way.
If that person is mean,then,just ignore and make him feel you are not affected with his words too.
Don't say anything and don't even let him feel that you are stricken or you feared him.
Just act as if he never exists.
@damned_dle (3942)
• Philippines
26 Jul 10
Looks like you are talking about your step-dad. There are some people here that you just can't change no matter what you do. I don't know if it is only here in our country (Philippines) that we find those kind of people?! Just hang on a little more and when you graduate and find work you can get out of there.
I think my advice is so lame! LOL.
Just take a vacation or do something to relax or entertain you everytime you got a chance. That way you don't have to think of him everytime.
@SinfulRose (3527)
• Davao, Philippines
26 Jul 10
Actually, he's my biological father...-___-
"My classmate had it tougher than mine" That's one of my positive thoughts. LOL
Anyways, vacation sounds nice. I'll just take those who don't irritate me and leave for somewhere else without him. Oh, I wish I can do just that! But I think that still won't happen anytime sooner.
Your advice? All I can say is "it's okay". Just encourage me and I might last long for another 18 years. LOL, just kidding!
Thanks for replying!
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
27 Jul 10
Its a situation that I can understand as I too had spent my hostel days with such kind of a person. There are two approaches that I can suggest -
1/- Ignore the person's comments and negative vibes. Difficult to do so as it is on a regular basis. Do some meditation and try avoiding discussions.
2/- Take them postively - I mean if there is someone who tells you your faults, it is easier to identify them (the faults) and try overcoming them. I also think that this wont be fruitful as some people are too nosy and pesky and make it a habit of finding faults.
Consulting a psychiatrist is ok but the situation you are in - I dont think you would get any better results. Instead - try this - find friends who can pamper you to compensate the negative things you keep on hearing from your roomie. Try various social networks and keep yourself engaged and occupied with studies and other creative good work.
Best of luck
@charmlenile (387)
•
27 Jul 10
I think you should confront all of them so you have better understanding how they feel towards you.An open mind is always the best way to communicate with the person around you better yet you should make them understand that you have grown so much. you just cant change someone perception not unless you have prove it to them.
@rksoulsmile (6)
• China
26 Jul 10
you know,the best way to handle any relationship is to communicate.as you said,you still need his/her support.so,I think you should try your best to communicate with this persion as patiently as you can,try to satisfy this person as you can.and if the situation is still getting worse and worse,you can try to live by yourself when you are able to do that.
@ashton77 (292)
• India
26 Jul 10
I think the person whom you have mentioned knows you from a very long time and have seen you grow. I think you need to show that you have become matured enough. I do understand that leaving the house is not the option but I guess you need to show the mature side of yours. You can also spend less time in your house by keeping yourself busy with some other works outside. Maybe you can go and visit your friend or hang around with them so that you don't have to listen to all these. Take care
@SinfulRose (3527)
• Davao, Philippines
26 Jul 10
I am trying to be mature here even though I am much mature mentally than him.
Even though that guy's older than me, he still thinks like a 6 years old. Anyways, I am trying to stretch my time in school to avoid him, but his mood only gets worse with it. I still remembered when I returned home, tired and wanting to sleep, seeing his disoriented face and asking me, "What time is it?" I said,"It's still 5:00 PM". Because I stayed longer in school for at least a couple of hours, he gets mad! He never thought that I might be studying there since he doesn't give me the chance to study at home. What an insensitive guy! And he still wants me to prove to him that the school I've chosen for myself is the right one! URGH! What a Scrooge?!
Anyways, going to my friends house and going somewhere else is still a big no-no.As I said, I have no way of supporting myself and totally still dependent on the scholarship my parents give me. LOL
Still, thanks for giving your opinion, I deeply appreciate it!
@MUNISH1303 (20)
• India
27 Jul 10
hiiiiiiiii, I want to say that If you are living with any person who is or was very close to you and leaving that guy is not an option, then you have just two option one is you can make that person like you if you are not able to do that then you should convert yourself like him. atleast in front of that guy. If He/she dont likes your happy attitude there must be a sadness in his life. that person seems angry with something happend wrong to him/her. You should ask about his/her problems, and try to solve them, that person needs love in his life just living with someone doesn't mean that you love them or not. you have to show your love to him we can change anyone heart by love and smile. IF he tells you about his problems then its ok if he doesn't then ask him politly that why he is doing all this to you? what he wants from you? May be he just wants your affaction.
I hope the misunderstanding in between you both will be solved and he will change his attitude. just try this and if it help you out then please tell me. whatever the reaction comes out tell me. thanks.......
@khulith (38)
•
26 Jul 10
well, actually I've been in your situation before, but there is not just one person that I had struggled to get along with. First is my step-father, I don't like his attitude when he first came in to my life, he is so annoying, I didn't really like him at all. second is my step-younger brother he is also a hard-headed person, he is my pain in the neck. he is to slow to understand so many things, annoying also like his father and hard to talk with. Once, my mother asked me why I can't get along with the two guys, and I tell her all the things I felt, starting from the day she decided to marry that guy without my consultancy. It was a emotional conversation, but after that she had been the one to tell to the both all the causes of gap within our relationship.but it wasn't easy it had took a long process before accepted fully my step-dad and step-brother as a part of my life. it had took me a long stretching o patience like you are doing and a loaded of prayers to God that he continue to change the personalities and keep on touching the hearts of this persons. because can only change someone. I'm still in the process of the situation until now.
