When can you start being friends again with someone who has betrayed you?

United States
July 29, 2010 10:59pm CST
In 2004, my best friend slept with my boyfriend. I never confronted her because we both moved to different cities shortly after the incident. Just a month ago, she moved back to the city that I live in. I married a different person, and have completely moved on from the situation. I would like to be her friend again, but I don't know if I should confront her about what happened in 2004. What do you guys think? Cheers.
7 responses
@meemingNEW (2228)
• Philippines
30 Jul 10
Anything's possible really. You can still be friends again even if you have been betrayed by your own best friend. Time can heal all wounds and I'm guessing you have really moved on from the incident considering that you're married to another person already. If I were in your shoes, I would not open about that incident first. Start being friends again by talking about what's happened in both of your lives. Like "How are you, its been so long?" , etc.. If your best friend opens about that incident, just don't talk a lot about it. I mean, a sorry and apology from her after all these years is enough. No need to talk about all those things because its been so long and I guess time has healed the wounds of hurt and betrayal that you felt that time. Best of luck.
• United States
30 Jul 10
Thanks for your advice. I think we both have moved on from those days. She is also married now too. Life moves on, so should we. :) Thank you for your reply. Cheers.
• Philippines
30 Jul 10
You're welcome. It's nice to hear that both of you are doing fine and happily married I guess. Happy mylotting. See you around.
@BStuff (498)
• United States
30 Jul 10
Honey, I honestly think it depends on the kind of person you are. Be honest with yourself. Being graced with the ability to give complete forgiveness is something not many have. I personally know I would tell myself I miss the way we were but know since that situation would always be somewhere in my mind that we would never be that way again. I hope that made sense. If you feel you could give her a fair shot and that she has moved on from the situation then go for it. But remember it will probably never be like the fond "before" memories you have because you both have probably changed a lot.
• United States
30 Jul 10
I think that she and I had a great friendship and I really miss that. I agree that we both have changed a lot--- I want to become reconnected again. Cheers
• India
1 Aug 10
I am fully agree with you, thanks for you comments & sharing
@unseenzy (171)
• Philippines
30 Jul 10
Since you have both moved on, I believe its best for you both if you will not confront her about what happened in the past. Because if there was a time that you were supposed to confront her, you should have done that way back 2004. Now, its already 2010 and there's no reason to dig up an ugly past since both of you are no longer living the shadows of it. Nobody is perfect so it is expected that everyone commits mistakes. Don't waste the opportunity of today by dwelling on the past. :)
@will_win (222)
• India
30 Jul 10
That's nice,you just give a call and see how she talks to you.If you find she is interested in you and you wants to maintain relationship,make sure her to understands ,what ever she have done wrong and you have forgiven and want to start again new friendship.
@med889 (5958)
30 Jul 10
I might be taking really long to be friend with someone who has betrayed me in the past, because it means to trust the person again which will be very difficult for me though. Just take your time before jumping to a conclusion.
@rose005 (254)
• India
30 Jul 10
So nice of you, that is called a true friend.