Do you forgive your friends who left you alone when you were in serious trouble?

after a while, when the pain is gone, yes... carrying the burden of the unforgiving is like having a load of rage and anger in one's heart... it's not good, spiritually, and it's bad, healthwise... and it's a great burden in one's moving forward in life...

Hi, yiyun_h. With friends that are like this, I will just leave them alone. If they can't be a true friend when my feet is stuck in the ground, then I know that I can't trust them at all for anything else. I think it hurts the most, when a friend can ditch you at the time when you need them the most. If they don't have a great explanation as to why they ditched you, then they are not worth being friends with anymore. That is how I feel about it. I am sorry that your friend has done this to you. I hope that you will find true friends that will never leave you hanging.

I feel sorry upon reading your posts. It is very true that the last person we thought to be with us (in the absence of our loved ones) are our friends. I don't know what to say about your friend,but sadly to think she is not too sensible and sensitive to feel what you were in (situation) right now. A friend doesn't need a word to let them know we are in trouble and that we need help. My friends were too sensitive to feel my feelings and in my most troubled times they are always here with me. You have to consider your distant,or maybe she's also in trouble. Whatever her reason is,you better know first before you judge her. If ever you will find that,she just ignored your situation then it is time for you to decide whether to keep a friend a like her. Have a wonderful weekend

Hi yiyun, This is very sad that your friend would act in such a dishonorable way toward your friendship in your time of trouble. You were there for her in many situations in her life, but she was not willing to be there for you when your life was spiraling out of control. In my opinion, she is not a true friend, so it is not difficult to just let her disappear from your life. It seems that she is only in your life if you can do something for her or if you have time to listen to her problems. You have been her friend, but she has not,not, not, been your friend. I don't understand people who have great relationships/friendships and just totally anilialte them my doing stuid unnecessary things, like not supporting a friend in need,especially when that friend has be more like family than friend. It would be very difficult to forgive that person for they lack of caring and concern for my well being. You can choose to forgive her, but I am sure you will not be as close to her as you once were. I am happy to her that your are a survivor and you are now doing well.

If God forgives, why can't we. If you feel that there is still something to be restored, and if she is important to you, talk to your friend and settle your conflicts, leading to reconciliation and possible restoration of your friendship. But if not, you can choose not to continue being friends with her, but still you must forgive her. Anger and bitterness do you no good. It only adds burden to your heart.

Well, it all comes down to your own personal choice. Think very VERY hard about this. If you want that friendship despite the fact that she wasn't there for you, if you are ready to pay that price for her friendship, then go ahead and ignore it. If on the other hand, you think that you will NOT be able to stop thinking about her not being there earlier, even when she is with you as a friend in other aspects, like having fun together, and enjoying each others company, then i think it would be better to gently move away. Give it a LOT of thought. Broken friendships can NEVER EVER be restored to their original state. its like breaking a string and then trying to make it one again. There will always be a knot. What should not happen is that you move away, and then you realize that her "disloyalty" was not too much of a price for her friendship....

Well i think that everybody needs a friend at least to talk about what their going through. what she did wasnt that nice, even worse because she was a life time friend as you say. If it were me i guess i would see what her reasons were to ingore the situation and from there see if you should forgive her or not. =D

I did forgive them without even a word spoken in response but i make sure i never beg them for anything in future i dont recommend to end up things that way but just dont expect from them because they "worthless" And i mean it , when such people talk about friendship , its a deep sht you are trying to mess up with , so stay away , stay cool but dont be a fool .

The real relationship can be showed out during in the hard times. There have many kinds of friends in one's life, who will stand around ours when we deep in problem, who will not to stand around us. For my opinion, if the friend have definite condition to support you when you got in the difficulties, however they could not give any help, I guess this friend's relationship was not pure, if the friend don't have any enough economic help, however this friend always give his or her mental encouragement, though he or she can't give actual help, but his or her mental encouragement will over anything that he or she gave. That is real relationship that we have.

I Forgive... but i dont forget. I think you are doing the right thing. It hurts, but maybe is for good.

I'm so sorry to hear about your friendship that had gone sour. Though it's hard but it's not good to keep grudges against other people especially with your long time best friend. So I would advise you to forgive her and let go of her. Give yourself another chance to find a new friend. You don't need to drop your friendship to find another. Friends come and go and we cannot keep them to ourselves alone. So set your best friend free, and no need to tell her that. Jut let things between you subside peacefully. Let time heals the wound. True friendship can be formed in short time. Friendship is not measured by length of time. I hope this helps a bit. May you find new friendship blooming soon.

i have to say that everyone in some point of your life are going to disapoint you, even you disapointed someone. if i put myself in your shoes i would say that i couldn't forgive her. sometimes when someone is in truble all yo can do is to listen and be there for that person. is not much but means more than anything. if you're not able to do even that, that means that you don't welue that person at all.

If he/she is my best friend then he/she never gonna do that if its happen then ill take it easy and forgive them...

You must think about the type of friend you are dealing with. There are two types of people I will talk about. The first is the person who pretends to be your friend, and they are... when everything is going well for you- or going bad for them. They will talk about their problems all the time but blow yours off, changing the subject or making them seem unimportant. They are selfish, to say the least. This is the type of friend you do not forgive. The second is the friend that simply doesn't come around when you are in trouble, simply because they don't know how to approach you. Maybe they are afraid they will make you feel worse, maybe it's just that they don't know how to make you feel better so they don't bother. I don't know why, but some friends, no matter how much they'd like to, are the friends that don't know how to deal with others' problems. This is the friend you forgive. They don't know any better. Whichever one of these applies to your friend determines whether or not she should be forgiven.

i would..and i have..but that also means they will get the same back if they ask me for help.i mean,some things are understandable,if they can't help,they can't. but if they are a friend,they could at least offer cheering up,y'know? that's a small thing if somebody's reaching out.

it gives me a big hole in my heart off course. maybe i can forgive her/him. but if someday he/she asked a help from me, i don't know if i want to help her/him

If I were you, I can still be friends with her but not the kind of friend that you will consider as a close buddies or best friends. And next time if ever she asks for any help, I don't think you have to go to such trouble to help her. Maybe only help her if it is really convenient for you. In that way, you wont feel guilty for not doing anything but still you can let her feel that she will be treated that way also because that is how she treats others.

well, in my opinion, friendship is a beautiful thing that we shouldnt drop it easily. i believe deep in your heart you know this. to me, one difference between a friend and another human, is that with a friend, we could/would share or even give almost all of our precious for him/her. so, if you have a friendship with another person, you have to be prepared for that. whether if your friend doesnt give even slightest similar kindness toward you, that's another story. perhaps she has a particular reason for her actions. whether if that reason is for good or bad, let's just believe that she was hiding something for your own good. cheers

The first thing is i never tell my friends that i am in trouble. i always wear a smile on my face. We have to learn to live without any help. there may come a day when we are in a situation when we cant ask for any help. I have always forgiven and will forgive my friends no matter what come.

You better talk to her first before jumping into conclusions. As to whether drop or not to drop your friend, better decide after talking to her heart to heart.