What's the point in loving? When they know they'll be single!

@vooturi (158)
India
August 7, 2010 8:15am CST
Hello mylotters, My friend has a girl they both are in love from the past 4 years.They know that they'll never get married to eah other What's the point in loving! I dont understand Is that true love? Or Just attraction between them? Can they survive living without each other?
2 people like this
32 responses
• United States
7 Aug 10
I ask myself that daily. I live with a wonderful man, first time ever in my life I have a really great person in my life. We live together for 4 years, have known each other for five. Being that I was married once before in a terrible and horrific relationship, which is a whole other story, anyways meeting my boyfriend I was uneasy at first as I did not believe in true love, well he has proven me wrong. Anyways he too had a prior bad relationship, so I understood that rushing into marriage would not be suitable for either. Well 5 years have gone by and our relationship has gotten stronger. Trouble is I completely believe in our relationship but he is set on never marrying. So to get back to your discussion, yes what is the point in loving, when he knows we will always be single. I wonder this often and ask myself, am I wasting my life, will we just say we love each other and never be committed in marriage. This has been on my mind quite a bit lately and due to certain circumstances I have been experiencing I do not believe it is wise. I wonder often times if I truly needed him as a husband would he be there for me, and well let us face I am not getting any younger. So back to your question can we survive living with out each other I believe so, when there really isn't a commitment is quite easy just to walk away. When you have nothing to look forward to I in my opinion feel that there is no point in loving.
@vooturi (158)
• India
7 Aug 10
I'm really sorry! Its really hard to stay without him i guess u are right ther's no point in loving! Thanks a lot for the response!
• United States
7 Aug 10
You are welcome and no thank you!
@attente (987)
• Philippines
7 Aug 10
very well said hardworkinggurl. I think you are the best person to answer this discussion since you are really experiencing it now be blessed both! :)
• United States
8 Aug 10
I think it must have a lot to do with the fact that marriage has lost its value. People get married out of lust, convenience and many other WRONG reasons. That's why the divorce rate is so high.
@vooturi (158)
• India
8 Aug 10
They have any Wrong intentions at all!
• United States
9 Aug 10
Hmm, I'm not sure then, some people just don't want to get married. I have heard from so many people "Don't get married, it will ruin your relationship." Maybe that is why they don't want to get married!
@Angelgirl16 (2177)
• United States
7 Aug 10
Hi vooturi, In our society today, marriage for so many people is out of the question. They don't want the legal complications that comes along with marriage, divorce, attorney, legal fee, who gets this or that, just to name a few. It is all too complex for some people. I would have a problem with your friends being together for that long if one of them has already made it clear to the partner that he or she will never get married, not to them or anyone else. However, they both seem to be in agreement that neither one of them intend to get married. That doesn't mean that they will remain together forever, but they both know where each stand on the marriage subject. If one wants to be married and the other partner doesn't then, someone would be wasting his/her time, but we have a winning couple in love with no press and no expectation for a life long commitment. It may last longer than some marriages.
@vooturi (158)
• India
8 Aug 10
If they dont get married.They atleast have to remain together with each other but there's another point if they are living together they can get married
• United States
8 Aug 10
Hi vooturi, I wish them the best, which ever decision they make.
@anncherry (406)
• Philippines
8 Aug 10
Exactly! I don't get people who get into relationships just for the sake of having a relationship while they can't even imagine themselves marrying the person! It's just wasting precious time and energy. I mean, you've got a lot of stress as it is, and you surely have your own problems already, and yet you're still gonna take in another problem? (Well, generally speaking. I'm not saying that all people bring problems.) Moreover, by doing so, you may convey feelings that can create unwanted expectations from the other party, and that's quite unfair. So, what's wrong with being single and just waiting for the one whom you can actually imagine yourself with after 20 years?
@vooturi (158)
• India
8 Aug 10
They can stay without each other and can get married too.. I dont know what's their idea being single
@gwendaal (42)
• France
8 Aug 10
i might be harsh with the following words , i think that that couple its pretty aware of their feeling , and i know might know wedding will break them apart, well i had a the same experience before , maybe they know that some of their habits ( that cant get rid off ) are not compatible and dont want to see the loved one suffer from it , i think the wedding will break them apart its too soon for them, or maybe iam wrong.
@vooturi (158)
• India
8 Aug 10
I'm not sure too.What's right to them and what's not! Its all left to them i'm just hoping the best
• India
8 Aug 10
been a single is better than going fooling each other in long run, Taking risk is important step for man and sacrifice something to get other thing higher value , if they dont do that they are simply wasting their time because sometimes in life we love someone so much but we cant marry him/her person can realize or expect that in begin of relationship and love,marrige,family..etc all are package goes togarher in life, if a person want only one pieces of these without other that would defect in whole relationship because it's goes out of natural way make by god , it is better for both to avoid and end the relationship before pain increases and they will realize that soon or later
@vooturi (158)
• India
8 Aug 10
Now they are in a position that they cannot avoid each other.They are in deep love,they cant live without each other at they same time cannot marry ! God has to help them I hope they convince each other
• India
8 Aug 10
That is what you call a platonic or passionless love. Such love does not end in marriage, because marriage usually is an end of love.
@vooturi (158)
• India
8 Aug 10
Its not passionless love, its just the situations not letting them to get married
• Philippines
8 Aug 10
maybe,your friends just don't want to pressure themselves and would just like to play it cool. I mean,that situation is very similar to a friend of mine,who has been cohabiting with her bf for years.They don't have any plans of getting married though they already have two kids.I asked my friend as to whaT are their reasons for staying such and she responded that;when the time comes that love is no longer with them, separation is easier.though,i completely oppose to her idea coz i really do believe with the sacrament of marriage but it is their idea.they just love each other wholeheartedly and would like to live that way without much pressure of staying together forever.
@vooturi (158)
• India
8 Aug 10
I'm very sorry for you friend,I wonder how's she living without her loved one.They are not justifying their love and they regret for doing so their whole life They just pretend they are happy but still they cry within their hearts.
• India
8 Aug 10
Love is not about marriage or other things but they are lucky enough to spent some part of their life with each other and they should be thankful to GOD..also its the saddest part that they are not going to marry each other , that is fate and none can help...Also I don't think its impossible to marry each other let make some effort ...:)
@vooturi (158)
• India
8 Aug 10
Yes your right they have to think well and make some effort to and get married so that they can lead a happy life
@ANIME123 (2473)
• United States
8 Aug 10
Well uh well this question is puzzling to me, but I think that if they never get married then I don't know if they can survive. Many couples that have been together that I know of have known each other for a good amount of years, but in the end they all got married. I don't know I guess it really depends on the couple if their ok with being with one another with out getting married then I guess they can survive purely on that love that they have for each other.Love is a strong bond that two people share with one another. For me though I do not think that I would be able to survive with someone for so long if I wasn't going ot get married. I think marriage is an important part in a couples life. Well everybody has their opinions and this one happens to be mine.
• India
8 Aug 10
Love is not all about getting married ...:)
@artistry (4154)
• United States
7 Aug 10
...Hi there vooturi, Welcome to the ranch, enjoy. There is a thought in society that marriage is the ultimate answer for two people being in love to be happy. I am not in that camp. I am not so much an advocate of people living together without being married either. But there are people who are very happy being friends and lovers without being married. Some, once they have been together for a long time decide to get married and guess what, they wind up divorced. So I don't know. I think if it is working without the marriage thing, unless you want to have children, let it ride. Marriage is not always the answer to happiness with couples. Just a thought."o) Take care.
• India
8 Aug 10
Nice you match my thinking ,,, love is not all about getting married ..its about loving some part of your life for other it may be short or long..:)
• South Korea
7 Aug 10
haha well i get your point but for me...maybe its just that who knows who is really for us? I mean if we wont take the chance to try....we might miss the person who is really meant for us... and even though theres a lot of relationship that doesnt work out... still you got a lesson that you learn... and maybe to your next relationship you will not do that same mistakes again.. again nothing here is impossible and we would not know what will happen tomorrow so if your heart beat for that person then try the best you can to work it out... atleast you know you gave all your best... so there will be no regret..
• India
8 Aug 10
Yes till you are together live and enjoy most of it :)
@sunilpaul (173)
• India
7 Aug 10
Either they should muster up enough courage and break away from their respective families or break away from each other....else what's the point if loving when you know one day each one of them is going to marry someone other than each other and they will make that marriage a miserable one...
@vooturi (158)
• India
7 Aug 10
I feel the same! It will be miserable if tat happens
• India
7 Aug 10
Love happens all of its own. People wont try to fall on love, if they do it may not be a true love. When your love is true you don't bother about anything else. If their love is true they can't leave each other and live happily.
@vooturi (158)
• India
7 Aug 10
As to my knowledge their love is true
• United Arab Emirates
7 Aug 10
we are seeing only what we want to see and not what others show us. Could be that are happy as a partners and will decide to get married when they are comfortable.
@vooturi (158)
• India
7 Aug 10
Hmmmm!! i'd be happy if that happens
• Portugal
7 Aug 10
but why you say they cant marry? if they love each other why cant they marry? mostly if they love each other for 4 years already thats too long maybe they are meant to be. and yes thats true love but i dont know what keeps them separate from each other. why you say they cant marry? also they are together bcs of love and also they can marry if they want bcs love is more strong than anything else. they must keep together^^ and be happy
@vooturi (158)
• India
7 Aug 10
They have some problems with their families that's the reason they cant get married
• Philippines
7 Aug 10
You're message made me pause for a bit and gave it a thought. Made me ask myself how can someone continue loving with no intentions off getting married? I always believe that the reason why people enter into a relationship is because they wanted to get married and spend the rest of their lives together but maybe this belief of mine is only possible to certain people and doesn't comply to everyone. Maybe you're friend and his girl doesn't believe in the sacrament of marriage because most marriages lately ended up in divorce.
@vooturi (158)
• India
7 Aug 10
They love each other very much
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
4 Sep 10
we need to learn what is sacrifice is. love without sacrifice is nothing. when we know that we love someone than we have to know that we will let it go for its own good. not for own good. the point in loving is how to make other happy not to make yourself happy
@mauie0918 (339)
• Philippines
11 Aug 10
I really don't know to your friend. They have their own decision and we just respect it. They know they'll never get married as you've said. Time will come for both of them to realize the things they're in to.
@bystander (2299)
• Philippines
10 Aug 10
you can even love a pet, a plant, even a valuable item and not marry it... so, what's your point?