Death of a beloved one.

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My cousin from my father's family passed out today... more like yesterday, but they found him only this morning. The truth is that he hanged himself, that's right he committed a suicide. He was so young... only twenty four, he should have celebrated his birthday on September. I, and also my whole family are so upset on ourselves, we knew that there is a chance for it to happen and yet, his mom allowed him to live alone. The whole story is like this, started about four years ago. He went to a "before army" trip on India with his close friends, there they fed him with different drugs and mushrooms, that even they had no courage of trying themselves. He came back home wasted and depressed, he needed more of those drugs but noting in Israel was like those that were in India, also drugs here are very expensive so he could not afford them, his depression became madness. Two months after that trip he went out of his room, naked like the day he was born with a knife in his hand, in front of his mother and his two younger sisters. He wanted to stab his father, luckily his father could pull him down. Police came and he was forced into psychiatric hospital, the best in Israel known as "Barbanel". He was there for about a year and after they saw an improvement in his condition, they released him. It was not that pink as it sounds though, he had to take a special pill daily, and that was enough to hold him calm... for another two and half years. It was obvious that something was wrong with him, you could have seen right through him... he always seemed like he is holding himself... He really tried so hard, he even found himself a girlfriend who knew his complicated life and loved him anyway. On the last April his family celebrated his father's birthday, there he told my mom "look at those people, they are such phony, all of them are fakes... pretending to like my parents because of them money. This world is boring... everything is about fortune and money, people don't really care from each other". The pill that he used to take was not helping him anymore, he became more and more depressed, and yesterday he put an end to his life. Those cowards, so called "friends" of him, did not even showed up, they know its them fault that he is gone! I really loved him, we are very alike. Both of us has passion for computers and have studied programming (he is older than me, about seven years difference...). Same hair and eyes color, we even have same name; both of us are Gabi, I am Levi and he is Cohen, both were names of priests' families at the Jewish Temple in Jerusalem. I think that I have learned computer's programming just because of him... We didn't spoke much lately barely saw each other either... I just came back from the funeral... I am so sad, and angry on me for not been there for him when he needed somebody... just anybody. My mom cried so much... she said "I knew that something was off with him, I told his mom and she knew about it too... We played dumb to the end. I don't know what I would do if something like were to happen to you". I don't know what to feel, what to say... or even what to do. I barely believe that it happened... Have you been having similar experience to mine? Someone who is so close and so alike to you in your family that suddenly vanished?