what would you do if the guy or girl you love says that he loves other girl...

love - guy crying in girls arms
Portugal
August 12, 2010 8:32am CST
hi guys^^ what would you do if the guy you love says he loves other person but wants be with you bcs he knows she never will love him and bcs you love him he can try to love you too. would you accept him? about me i wouldnt. i would say well we can be friends and if then you love me then we can be together but if your feelings for her be the same we continue always friends bcs be with him when he loves other person i cant. what about you guys? ^^
4 people like this
19 responses
@Renhard (3480)
• Jamaica
12 Aug 10
Here is something that i saw work before to actually get that person. Just accept it but still try to stay close that person. Share your life experiences with that person and hope he/she does the same. Just make sure you get so close until she/he would come to you for any problems they are having. Then just wait for a problem to occur. Make that person know the position is still up so she/he can still become yours but at the same time tell the person to give his/her lover another chance. This is so to show your lover you only want the best for him/her. He/she might not give her lover another chance and she/he might come to you then. If she/he does give his/her lover another chance that mean. The next time the lover mess up you will be the replacement. N.B. It has work for me before, not positive if it will work for you, but you can still try. Another thing still try not to annoy him/her just make sure you are always the first one there for them but dont annoy. If you have any questions feel free to ask.
@Renhard (3480)
• Jamaica
12 Aug 10
One more thing dont accept to be together until he has broken up with that person. But if he and the person is not together and he is still in love with that person, I would say to be with him. The reason i say that is because he is honest to tell you that. I remember telling my girl i am in love with a certain someone before we are together. She still went ahead and be mines, Though she knew of the sacrifices. And it found out that that's all i needed, someone else to love that will make me forget about the other that i love. So just take a chance if he is not already taken. If might just work out your way.
• China
12 Aug 10
For me I think I will accept.. My situation is similar to this.but she doesn't say she want to try to love me.. ...so I choose to leave her..though we are already soulmate..but I still can't accept this..but anyway ..there are difference..cuz before she told me she love another one ..I discovered that she is not honest to me....but anyway if she told me that and later tell me if she could try to love me I think I will accept abusolutly..she is my first love..
• Portugal
12 Aug 10
yes she is your first love but she was with you and loved other guy and didnt tell you so she cheated on you right? so dont accept her. when we love someone we dont cheat so dont accept her back^^ there are so so many girls and so many are sweet dont waste your time with someone that doesnt even was honest with you. she should had tell you the truth bcs she knew how you loved her.
@bokal2703 (803)
• Philippines
12 Aug 10
A heart can be stubborn, some may accept those kind of set up. For me, I dont think I would. It will be like exposing yourself to the fire when you are already burned. As they say, we should never allow ourselves to be just an option...we should know our worth before others see it...besides if you enter that kind of relationship, you are just giving yourself a false hope and will never have the peace of mind and security knowing that any moment the guy can leave you when the girl she loves pays him attention
• Portugal
12 Aug 10
yes you are right^^ thats what i meant. we must be with someone just if we love him and not bcs we are so sweet and bcs his love doesnt care for him he wants us. you are right and thats what i meant here. but there are some people that accept it and get humiliated and hurt. i feel sorry for those bcs they really love the person and dont see that they will be the hurt ones.
@Angelgirl16 (2177)
• United States
13 Aug 10
Hi sweetloveforeve, If I was the girl who was in a relationship with a guy,and he comes to me and tells me that he is in love with another girl, but he wants to keep me around because he knows the other girl will not love him back, I would slap his face! What an insult. Being number one, being the only one, is the only way that I will stay in a relationship with a guy. I am not that desperate to sit around hoping that he will love me. "Move on Jack! You are not God's gift to women." would be my words two him. Of course, these would not be my final words. You, son of a b--t-h. My life is too short to live in misery with a jerk that would take my loving him for granted. If it is not all about me, then it is not all about him. I will throw out my line and catch a better fish.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
13 Aug 10
I would definitely be a crushing blow to know that my guy loved another girl. I would think there was something wrong with me. Somehow I had made this happen. I don't know that i could accept my loved one wanting other without feeling angry and rejected. I believe that friendship could be remain but it would be a difficult road to travel after a romantic relationship. It would take me some time to work through.
• China
13 Aug 10
It would be a quite sad thing for everyone, I think. But with the time passing, and you have cured the smart from the difficult time, you will be thankgodness you have known him/her in time!
@aditya540 (328)
• India
13 Aug 10
probably what you should not address it as love.!! change the term to attraction or flirting..!! true love cant desert you at any point of time..!
• Philippines
13 Aug 10
wow! maybe i'll give him a right hook the instance he uttered those words (the nerve!), and no i won't accept him. i dont think any woman on her right mind would like to be treated as second best or a spare tire. as a woman, i know my worth and i do know that i deserve better than what that guy is offering. maybe ill consider accepting him as a friend for his honesty. lol
• Philippines
13 Aug 10
That is a bit difficult. But I would do the same thing - tell him we'll be friends until he realizes who he really loves. Because well, that will be unfair for me and for the other girl. A human has only one heart, therefore he must love only one, well on both me and the other girl. He must figure out what he feels for me and the other girl. And if he figures out, I'd be really happy for his decision even if it wouldn't be in the end.
@ANIME123 (2473)
• United States
13 Aug 10
Well as for me I wouldn't accept that because I know that it won't be real love it will just be fake love and I would not want to live with that. Love is something that two people feel for one another if one is just not feeling it and pretending then it is not really love and that's no good right there. It will be like living a lie even though you want it to be real it will never happen it will always be fake and a lie.It's just really sad how some people will accept this because they love that one person so much even though they are not getting the same feelings back it's ok with them because they are with a person that they love even though those feelings may never be returned back really a sad story to me I just won't accept that. You should always be with someone that will love you back and not just pretend that is just unsettling to me.
@jadmari (125)
• Philippines
13 Aug 10
That is awful. I would rather be a friend than hurting my own self. At least he is there with my even if he is just a friend. My love for him will be there. We never know, maybe in time. His feelings towards me will develop and will see me more than friends. When time comes that he already wants to be with me, we are confident that our love will be solid because we have built a strong friendship first.
• Philippines
13 Aug 10
ill let her have her way.. she'll then realize that nobody could ever love her the way i do.. by the time she comes back, i've already moved on...
• India
12 Aug 10
you are exactly correct, cause there is no use of living with a person who is already in love with somebody, it leads to many problems and i can say that his love not confident and real.
@eurekafemme (5881)
• Philippines
12 Aug 10
Ouch! That could be very painful.But, no I wouldn't let him hurt me any further.It is enough that he told me he doesn't love me and love someday else. I will not take insult for being the scapegoat and be his convenience.I will not settle for less. True, may be I don't love him that much to take that crazy risk but this is not the end of the world for me. Besides, he is not the only man left here on Earth. For sure, I'd be able to love again another guy who will love me in return because he truly loves me and not because I love him. Good evening, Sweetlove.:)
• Philippines
12 Aug 10
atleast hes being honest...but it isnt fair that ur not the one he loves and ur just a proxy for someone he cannot have so u better exit
@maean_19 (4663)
• Philippines
12 Aug 10
Quite tough situation. I am in that situation now. I never thought I would be in a situation like this before. Besides, I was then in a safe and secured situation prior to my present one. But, as many people may say, love is sacrificing and ironic. Truly it is because I may be happy with the man I am with now, but hurting because I share his heart with another. Some may say, it is stupidity when you deal with the situation, but it is strength and courage when you take the risk and one time you tried to follow your heart. When m bf told me that he has another, I was shocked. At first, I do not know what to react and took me for a while to realize what to say and do. I asked him if he want to break up with me and I will accept it, but he said he does not because he loves me. I again asked him how could he say he loves me when he also love another, then he said, it was the girl who assumed that they are in a relationship. I wanted to shout at him and spank him because that is an alibi, but I just can't. My hands got numb and just started to cry. My mind is still rebelling with the situation because I am the one adjusting. Before, I may say that it is ok, but now, I realized I want him to be mine alone. It may be selfish, yet I want to fight something that is really mine.
@skysuccess (8882)
• Singapore
12 Aug 10
sweetloveforeve, I am really very interested with what is this guy's interpretations on commitment, faithfulness, dedicated and devoted. Morally, I wonder if he knows what they meant or mean? Or, if he has any of them at all? What do you think?
@kristeena (358)
• Philippines
12 Aug 10
Relationships grow when two people are in love with each other. If he's just trying to escape from his heartaches, why would you accept him? You might get involve in a more complicated relationship. Maybe he can rest his heart for a while and do not disturb yours. Wait until his heart has healed already.
@lolo58 (54)
• United States
12 Aug 10
Is the better question: Why would you settle for being " trying to be loved" than to be completely loved? Please remember if anyone devalues themselves no one else will find the true value they actually have.