do you check on your partner's cellphones and emails?

Philippines
August 18, 2010 6:15am CST
are you the type of partner who is jealous and possessive..? do you check on your partners text messages and call histories? and even read their incoming emails? to what extent do you check on them? do they know that you're doing these stuffs or are you doing it behind their backs?
1 person likes this
19 responses
@unseenzy (171)
• Philippines
18 Aug 10
hey.. lol its me again.. your topics seem to always get my attention. I guess its because I can relate to some of them. :) Anyway about this topic, I'm guilty! When I had a long distance relationship before, there was no chance for me to check his cellphone so I always check his email and friendster (messages). But it was not because I was jealous or being possessive, it was because I was really curious about his activities. It wasn't a big deal because we were both open with each other so I didn't find anything that I didn't know. However with my current relationship now, I must say that I became a jealous person. Because this guy had a history and you can pretty much call him a flirt so it was not easy to erase my doubts. He gave me his friendster and email credentials. When I checked it, I found lots of stuff which is not healthy for me to see. Because yeah past is past. There were a lot of stuff there about his past, about his flirting history. But I appreciate his honesty. Then I got paranoid that he might do the same stuff so I secretly checked his cellphone. Don't know if its fortunately or unfortunately for me but I found something there. I found some lies then I confronted him about it. The reason was acceptable but my paranoia did not go. So from time to time I still secretly check his phone, email, friendster. But didn't find any so instead of building my doubts I learned to fully trust him. I learned to respect his privacy. It all happened 2 years ago. But recently I actually did this again, 3 months ago just to check since we had a fight that time, luckily didn't find any. :)
• Philippines
18 Aug 10
hi again... i can't help but laugh when you said that my topics seems to get your attention..and yes i agree with you..maybe we do have certain similarities.., i do check my boyfriend's celphone and email.., not out of jealousy but out of curiosity.. at the early stage of our relationship we have been in a long distance one..and i can't help but check out his email and friendster account just to see how he is like..who are the girls who keeps on checking his profiles and stuff... hahaha
@unseenzy (171)
• Philippines
18 Aug 10
hahaha that's exactly the same with my long distance relationship.. we have indeed certain similarities.. its pretty obvious because I can relate with most of your topics.. in fact, I saw another one just now, just before replying to this.. see you there I guess lol...
• Philippines
19 Aug 10
hahaha...funny! see you there!! =)
@sinaj292 (602)
• India
19 Aug 10
If the partner is ready to show the mail,.. then no problem..... other wise i that is not a good thing to do.....
• Philippines
24 Aug 10
exactly.., sometimes.., my boyfriend would ask me to check out his mail for him.., that's the time i take a peek on who's the people keeping in touch with him..=)
• United States
19 Aug 10
Well guilty over here! Ive been there before, but only if Im given a reason to search and be Miss CSI (as my friends call me).. If given a reason because there acting funny or secretive then yup, because 9 out of 10 its always something. I wouldn't call it possessive or jealousy though at least for me it more of Im not going to be in the dark and look stupid.
• Philippines
19 Aug 10
hahaha..there is something that we call a "girl's instinct" and mine never failed me yet.., whenever i felt that something is up..,i would start investigating..hahah..just like in the CSI... because one thing i hate the most is.., being fooled behind my back..=) right girl? 8_^
@Marhler (26)
18 Aug 10
When we started going out, I use to ask her about her text messages and phone calls. But later on (and after all these years), I don't do it anymore. Not that I don't care what she is doing, It is much more like I trust her, and I know that she trusts me too. If we did not, then we wouldn't have lasted all these years. Nowadays, I even ask her to check my e-mails for me, and she would do same thing every now and then. But I do admit that I am possessive to certain extent. I love her and don't want to lose her, that makes me possessive. Sometimes, she understands, sometimes she dont, and we get into little quarrel about that sometimes. :))
• Philippines
19 Aug 10
hmm.. i like it when my guy does the same way you did to your girl.., checking out things when necessary because you don't wanna lost her but not to the extent of losing the trust in the relationship...=)
@dpk262006 (53689)
• Delhi, India
18 Aug 10
I do not check my partner's cell phone or emails to find out any hidden secrets because she does not conceal anything or any information from me.
• Vietnam
19 Aug 10
I don't check my partner's cellphone, too. I think that everybody need to have their secret. I love him, I believe him.
@chinoxads (255)
• United States
24 Aug 10
I don't do that things because my wife since we where dating, she demostrate that i can trust her and she can trust, she doesn't do that to me, we think that if one of us do that, we can even thinks things that are not true and it make untrust the relationship.
@thaMARKER (3096)
• Philippines
19 Aug 10
i don't.. whatever is getting out from being engrossed with his phone or emails, i trust him. it's his problem if hes dong something bad.. my partner checks his phone from time to time and i have never ask him or check it whenever it rings. i don't know.. i guess it's already private becuase in my case, i don't want him reading my messages too not because im hiding something but because i simply dont wan thim to read it.
@segungb (169)
• Nigeria
19 Aug 10
I think it is not right. It shows that there is no trust. Suspicion is a cancer in any relationship. It does not show maturity in any way.
@ShenniLy (45)
• Philippines
19 Aug 10
Before I used to. Now that my bf and I are together for 7 years, I've trusted him that much. I know those messages he got are from his clients.
@maclanis (1474)
• Belgium
19 Aug 10
I don't think it's right if you check your partner's cellphone or email. In a relationship you should trust eachother, and if that trust isn't there than maybe you should not be together! If you think your partner is cheating on you, you should confront him/her first before you go behind his back. If he/she isn't cheating on you and he/she finds out you were checking his/her cellphone and emails, your partner might break up with you because you don't trust him/her.
• Philippines
19 Aug 10
If you have respect to your partner you don't have to check his text messages or emails, if there is love there is trust.
@Renhard (3480)
• Jamaica
19 Aug 10
For me i would never do such a thing but if i start to suspect something going on. I would unexpectedly ask them to show me, and that would give them no time to delete. Well if they deny i would start to suspect more and i would become uncomfortable and i would make her know that, but i would not carry it on any further by forcing her to show me.
@Rellz007 (37)
• United States
19 Aug 10
I wouldn't want any of my friends to do it to me so why should i do it to them and thats i gotta say
• Philippines
19 Aug 10
I am a jealous person but checking my bf's emails and cellphone is not my doings... it's a private things ! ! ! TRUST and LOVE must be there :)
@gaiza12 (4889)
• Philippines
19 Aug 10
I have read an article before that you should trust your partner. You shouldn't read his emails or cellphone messages and calls to build a strong relationship. But even if I know that having trust will help a long lasting relationship, I still get to read my boyfriend's messages in his cellphone. I don't get to read his emails to give him privacy but I sometimes am tempted to do so..but no I won't do that not unless he would want me to. I also have access to his facebook account since he doesn't care about it. He only made one because I force him to do so :D
• United States
18 Aug 10
For one I would never violate my partners privacy and do this. I would not allow anyone to do this to me. I am a grown adult I don't need anyone to monitor my calls. So,this would be out of order to do to another.
@indahfth (11173)
• Indonesia
18 Aug 10
I do not check messages, email or whatever belongs to my partner. I do not want to disturb my partner's privacy, unless my spouse allowed. I'm not one to investigate the privacy of people even though my partner. Unless I was told. If my jealousy would have, but I did not show excessive.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
18 Aug 10
I don't feel the need to check a partner's cewllphone or emails. Relationships are built on trust. If we invade our partner's privacy by checking up on their messages, the bond of trust can be broken. Once that happens, it's difficult to get the relationship back to where it was.
@yakuyaku (35)
18 Aug 10
.n0!definitely n0t...i d0nt check my partners cellph0ne,emails and his wallet.c0z i believe that th0se are private things.it is what I call respect the privacy of that pers0n.i jUst wait if he will share st0ries about text messages or emails he received 0r pers0ns wh0 called him..i d0nt ask..i d0nt pry!c0z i want him t0 do th0se things f0r me too..its the g0lden rule..d0nt d0 unto others what you d0nt want others d0 unto you!you have to trust them.