How can I reach her?

United States
August 29, 2010 12:22pm CST
My sister is 5 yrs younger than myself. She just graduated high school and still lives at home with my parents. I have a great relationship with my parents and we talk almost everyday. When I call the house and Brandi picks up she barely says hello with a smile and then hands the phone off to dad. I want to connect with her in some way. I see her going downhill fast, we all do. She is on several medications for depression and anxiety and has the tendency to cling on to any guy that will give her the time of day... and lets just say none of these guys are winners or treat her the way she deserves. She's going through alot of issues I never dealt with at her age. I try to reach out to her but she's not interested, I think she sees me as "one of them" (ie mom and dad). I would love to get into a good conversation with her and feel a connection. She is my only sister after all, the only one I'm ever going to get and I wanna make the best of it. She lies ALOT so it's hard to get a straight story from her. And when we do talk as rare as that is, I can never find the right words to give her solid advice and not offend her. It's a very tight line to walk as she gets offended about EVERYTHING that isn't "you go girl". I wasn't 18 all that long ago so why can I not connect with her? All adcvice welcome!
2 responses
@ynahh1 (454)
9 Sep 10
try to established a rapport for her!! invite her to watch movie with you and try to put yourself in her shoe..well its never too late shes your sister anyway!goodluck
• United States
10 Sep 10
Again, great suggestion but she is in ny im in nm
@ynahh1 (454)
11 Sep 10
Don't give up!!you can do it!
@emarie (5451)
• United States
30 Aug 10
It is pretty tough, teens now days, or in general always see anyone who is NOT a teen as someone they don't want to get close to. I'm the youngest of my family and my sister is 5 years older then me. I have another sister who is 7 years older then me and I didn't start really bonding with them until I was older. I think the problem with your sister might be the medication. It doesn't help with the situation. But if you want to become close with her I think physical time with her. If you're far away then it will be even harder to get along with her. Honestly the bonds should be formed while growing up, but just trying to hang out with her should be a good start. Take her shopping and other things, things she likes to do and things you like to do. Then strike up conversations and tell her stories about yourself and share things you've never told your parents. Remember, she might not open up to you all the way, but a little is all you need. She'll need to get hurt and learn on her own time, the best you can do as a sister is cushion her fall and make sure it doesn't go too far. Especially with the guys. Teens don't want to hear who they shouldn't go out with, it'll make them even worse. Just be forward with your own concerns and say they you'll let her make the decision and open yourself up to conversation when she needs it. Tell her day or night if she needs you she can come to you, you'll need to make yourself available too. Hopefully this helps, but I don't know your sisters personality either. But try different things and see what she responds to the best.
• United States
31 Aug 10
All great suggestions but one very big delima, My sister lives at home with ma n pa, I am stationed in NM b/c of my husbands job :(