How would you know if you're still in love?
By jonnifc
@jonnifc (1017)
Philippines
September 3, 2010 2:18am CST
I was wondering how would you know if you're still in love with your partner or you've just gotten used to the companionship or being with him or her?
We've seen it before. Maybe in our own relationships or with other people's. Even though we're not happy with the relationship anymore, we don't want to give up and leave it. We just focus on some moments of happiness and hope for the best. We just think that maybe it's just a plateau in the relationship and things will pick up again soon.
Is there a point when we just want to keep the relationship even if we're not happy? Like if we have attached who we are to the relationship and if we let go of the relationship, we will become lost. So it's not sure whether we are still in love with our partner or we are just holding on to the relationship.
A bit confusing. So could you help enlighten me. Thanks in advance!
1 person likes this
9 responses
@deve_annrn (1856)
• Philippines
3 Sep 10
you sound like you're getting bored with your current relationship.., correct me if i'm wrong.., i do feel the same way at times.., it feels like sparks of your relationship has melted away.., it's gone and you're way too comfortable with each other.., that both of you don't exert any effort anymore to spice up the relationship.., add some extra sugary sweet gesture to melt our heart away.., just like in the beginning.., yes.., it happens once the relationship has been stabilized and stood against the test of time.., but despite it all.., the love i felt for my boyfriend is still there.. whenever i look at him without him noticing that i'm staring.., it brings a smile on my lips and i can't help but thank God for giving him to me..=)
@jonnifc (1017)
• Philippines
3 Sep 10
No, it's not me. I'm glad it's not me. But sometimes I do feel like what you said in my relationship with my boyfriend. Sometimes I miss the "honeymoon" stage of the relationship. Now, I guess we're too comfortable with each other that sometimes we don't exert that much effort anymore. I guess living in different cities doesn't help us any. It's hard to feel the love when we're busy with our separate lives and it's only through text, and the occassional calls, that we communicate. When we get together we try to make up for lost time. But sometimes we're too tired (because we're always out when he visits) to be sweet to each other. But I do love him still and I know he loves me.
Anyway, it's my friend. She got pregnant at 19 and got married at 20. They've been married for 6 six years now. She's a doting wife but sometimes she feels like a robot who takes care of the family. She feels that she's losing touch with her husband. She gets irritated a lot with him. He's the same way, too. They would fight a lot. She feels unappreciated and sometimes she says she want to find herself again. But she doesn't want to leave her husband. She says there are times, especially during their family time, that she still feels a longing for her husband.
@deve_annrn (1856)
• Philippines
4 Sep 10
Hi there.., oh i guess i got you wrong.., you were not referring to yourself then..., lol.., what we feel at times towards our partners are normal.., there isn't any perfect relationship in existence.., what is important is we show them they are loved and appreciated despite the distance in between..=)
With regards to your friend.., She got married at a young age.., though we all know marriage is not an easy commitment.., I was wondering if your friend got married because she got pregnant.., an d not because she was ready for such a big decision at that time of her life.. and perhaps.., she had a little regret deep inside her for that.., there could be a lot of reasons why.., But I just hope your friend and her husband will find ways to make it work..,=)
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
5 Sep 10
there were times i asked if the burning feeling is still there. i discovered somewhat that we always try to compare the first time we fell in love with the same person. but love grows deep and different the first time we had it.
but i do know that some people fall out of love. if i will be asked if they have to go on then i say to always try to work things out before making that major decision.
@bagumbayan (2705)
• Philippines
5 Sep 10
Youre still in love, because you tend to hold on. There are phases in our life where are feelings changes as we grow older or became more matured. Talk about it and show you care. Next time it will return to the old love ways you have before.
@markroderick (888)
• Philippines
4 Sep 10
If even the simplest details of him still brings shiver to your bones.
@sweetloveforeve (13107)
• Portugal
5 Sep 10
well to know that is easy^^ do you still want to be with this person all the time? is with him you dream to be with forever or do you feel bored of your life with him? if you feel happy and couldnt be happier then you love him if you feel bored then something is wrong. is possible that feelings disappear if you or him are too busy with other things and dont have time for each other. also maybe he is not much caring to you. you know this when you feel being with this person is not a happy thing anymore. is just like you are with him bcs you are used to and are afraid to find new guy. if you feel this talk with your hubby and try to make love appear again or leave him. but first you should try bcs sometimes people are just so busy with other things that forget love and when they go see they lost an important thing so talk with him and try to make things happy again^^
@theagold17 (121)
• Philippines
4 Sep 10
im still single, and i jst make a respnse cause me either i dont like that it would be happen to me .
so tell me what the reason how can you say that your not inlove with him anymore??? do you have kids now?? maybe your partner is soo busy and not much have time to spend with you.. thats why maybe you think like that.. tell him everyday that you love him so much... and dont think negative like that.. how can the others reach there 25 th wedding anniversary/if they dont love each other,...
and well if you have kids, just think for the sake of your kids, cause if you want to separte with him, the kids are so pitty. and if you that then when your kids grow mature, they also do separate just like what you did.. so think well
i want you to rember this things rules for a happy marriage
1. never both be angry at the same time.
2. never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
3. if one of you has to win the argument , let it be your mate,
4. if yu have to critize , do it lovinly.
5. never bring up mistakes of the past.
6. neglect the whole world rather than each other.
7. never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
8 at least onece every day try to say one kind or complimentary things to your life partner.
9. when yu have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness,
10. it takes two to make a quarel, and the one in the wrong is the one who does the most talking.
@thaMARKER (2503)
• Philippines
3 Sep 10
try to do things (with or without your partner) sometimes. and notice if you both will end up feeling different or the same way.
for me, doing the same thing everyday is boring. feeling the same way (aside from love) all the time bores the relationship. showing your love almost the same way all the time is super boring. so try something stupid.
but if you feel that you're in a relationship because of how long you've been together or the person did nothing wrong -- leave. it's not healthy and it's not cool.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
3 Sep 10
Sometimes we fall into a routine of comfort. Some people continue to believe it is still love yet do not continue to express their love for one another.
There are those that say they still love their significant other yet they are not in love. I certainly do not understand how that can be as I for one feel you are love or do not. I think these people are sort of confused, meaning they still care for the person and feel they cannot hurt them so they say this.
But love is a true feeling that really cannot be expressed with words they are completely felt and expressed though actions.
