Are men allowed to feel unattractive?
September 5, 2010 2:24am CST
I never thought that I could fall in love, not even with my ex wife who bore me a beautiful son. But when I met my girlfriend, it was like that whole clishe of love at first site and I feel just as attracted to her today as I did the day we met. We've been dating for nearly two years now and for the first six months, we were very hot and heavy. I would come to her house at night to watch movies and make love and she would come to my house to do the same. Now, understandably, things have mellowed down a bit since we have become a bit more domestic, but lately, it has felt like she wants nothing to do with me physically. She is on birth control, not that it matters since the last time we were actually intimate was well over a month ago and she has since then had at LEAST one period so I know she isn't pregnant. She does have a recurring condition called interstitial cystitis that does cause her occasional pain but this didn't seem to bother her much for the first six months. Lately, she has gotten into the habit of acting very provocative to me but then, every time, she backs out of anything other than holding hands and light, closed lip kisses, telling me that she is in pain yet again. It feels like she is no longer attracted to me but doesn't want to hurt my feelings about it. I absolutely adore this woman and it kills me that she may no longer feel attracted to me. I go out of my way to show her how much she means to me but I haveno idea how she feels about me any more. I don't know how to approach her about this without hurting her but it is getting to the point where I feel I need to do something or walk away from one of the best things that has ever happened to me before I get REALLY hurt. I am so lost...
5 Sep 10
Oh, why not? Besides you are also human. :) Your girlfriend being unresponsive to your intimate gestures doesn't mean you are unattractive to her anymore. It could be that you are physically attractive enough, as you were the first time you two met, but somehow, somewhere along the line something has changed. I am a woman and I know for sure that physical features has nothing to do with the sudden coldness. There must be something else inside her that bothers her. Your thinking of talking to her is the best thing you can do. We do not want to talk, too, about how we feel because we always expect you men to understand what we feel. We are anticipating you know the reasons why we are behaving the way we do. Silly, but, true. Now, to burn the wall down between you, TALK TO HER. Don't dilly dally about it. You might or you might not want what you hear,but, at least you can do what needs to be done and you can act accordingly. Goodluck.:)