Going Out To Eat-Who Should Pay The Tab?

@jujunme (2403)
United States
September 15, 2010 10:22pm CST
When a couple goes out to eat breakfast, lunch or dinner), do you think the guys should "always" pick up the tab? i think "he" should only if he was the one who made the suggestion to go out in the first place. if they both decided to go out i don't see anything wrong with them either splitting the tab or the wife or girlfriend offering to pay once in awhile.But it also has a lot to do with how long they've been together, sorry guys but, if it is their firstor second date, i do think the guy should pay,afteral, you don't want your date to think you're a cheapskate,lol, So tell me what is your opinion on this. should the guy pay the check most of the time or not?
1 person likes this
13 responses
@genevy04 (793)
• Philippines
16 Sep 10
Hi jujunme.. The thing here is, it depends upon the situation.. If a boy is still courting the girl then he should do something to impress the girl..And it is best that he pay for the bills.. On my experience, a couple should share with the expenses when they go out.. I did that, and I don't see anything wrong about that. I volunteer in sharing with our expenses with food, or movies, or transportation. I don't want my boyfriend to owe the responsibility of paying for all of that.. And I think it helps a lot in our closeness.. That way we became much more comfortable with each other..
@jujunme (2403)
• United States
16 Sep 10
You most likely have a very healthy relationship and mutual regard for each other and that's always nice to hear.Although, it's not always possible to share expenses for everything you mentioned, (one partner not working or has much less income than the other) a couple should always find ways to share what they can with one another.Thank you for your response.
@genevy04 (793)
• Philippines
19 Sep 10
yes indeed I have a very healthy relationship right now.. I have been married with that boyfriend for 4 years now, and we still do the same at times. but now, since he was the one working, then he treats me and my kid more often than I do.. It is still a give and take relationship..
@Celanith (2334)
• United States
17 Sep 10
I feel it depends on who asks whom out. If She does the asking she should pay the tab. If he does the asking then of course he should pay. If they have been together a long time, are old friends or married then they split the bill or decide before going out who is going to pay.
@jujunme (2403)
• United States
18 Sep 10
Simple and to the point and you added something i hadn't thought of. deciding who is going to pay "before" going out.Deciding beforehand would prevent any arguments or embarassment once they got to the place they were going.Thank you for your response
@Angelgirl16 (2177)
• United States
17 Sep 10
Hi jujunme, I am just an old fashion girl who still expects her guy to open the car door for her, and he does. I will not pay for a meal if I am taken out to dinner. I think we girls have lowered or expectations of our "gentlemen" friends, therefore, our "gentlemen" have also lower their respect for their female partners. I know that we live in the 21th century (the backward century) where everything is fast and convenient. Everything is split right down the middle. You can't miss what you have never had. So, if a girl has never had a guy to treat her like a real pearl that she is, how would she know what she is missing? She wouldn't. Even though we are in the 21th century, so things just ought not change, and being treated like a lady is one.
@jujunme (2403)
• United States
17 Sep 10
You brought up a very good point. it's really a shame the way some men treat their women, especially in this day and age. Some men feel if a women has her own income , she should be able to pay her way. but, if "he's" the one asking her out, he is responsible for paying the check no matter what.but, in a long term relationship, or marriage when you more or less know the person you're with, i see nothing wrong with splitting the check , but that's only if the woman has an income of her own and can afford to do this.But, i do agree with you about girls who have lowered their expectations and they really shouldn't there are too many fish in the sea andif you can't find someone who will treat you with respect and dignity, you're better off without him.
• Thailand
16 Sep 10
When I was in the relationship with my ex-girlfriend, I am always the one who pay for the bills, I don't really know why, but it's just like obvious, hihi. It just like the minimum politeness. And I also don't want my girlfriend to worry about money when going with me. :) And it's also cost me a lot of money,hihi, now, when my love leaves me, I spend just a little money, cause I don't have habits of spending too much for myself. It's also good right?
@jujunme (2403)
• United States
16 Sep 10
You are a real gentleman.as i mentioned, even though i think there are situations where the tab could be split or the girl may even offer to pay, you have shown there are still guys out there who will offer to pay "all" of the time thanks for your response.
@jhyan007 (467)
• Philippines
16 Sep 10
...you've got the point, although, it would be best to divide the tab into half...not unless it was the first three dates of your relationship with that girl...of course guys should initiate and pay the tab..but i've known of few girls who don't want the guy to pay for the tab but rather they want it divided into half, their reason is that, they don't want to owe something to that guy so that it wouldn't be hard on the girl's part to turn the guy down in case the relationship will not work...
@jujunme (2403)
• United States
16 Sep 10
"i've known a few girls who don't want the guy to pay for the tab"/ maybe some girls don't want the guy to pay because they don't want to feel obligated to the guy in any way. Although, today it seems some women are very independent and insist on paying their own way in most situations involving a dating relationship. i guess to each is owqn. thank you for your response.
• Philippines
16 Sep 10
yes you are correct, i agree with the fact that the guy should pay for the first dates and not all the time. I mean it does come to the point that people get broke or they have to pay for something important and stuffs like that.
@jujunme (2403)
• United States
16 Sep 10
Yes, very true as i mentioned i don't see anything wrong with the woman either paying for or splitting the bill but, really, if either one is broke or has very little cash to spend, i don't think either one of them should be asking each other out.
@wiwa05 (230)
• Philippines
16 Sep 10
well, if it's their first night out, then the guy would definitely pay for all the expenses coz it's his obligation to do so for courting the girl.. besides, this could give plus points to the guy... ^_^ Nevertheless, if the two couple are going out for a long time, there's nothing wrong if both will pay for the expenses. Anyway, they both ate and enjoyed eating it.. What's important is that, they both do enjoy being with each others' company. ^_^
@jujunme (2403)
• United States
17 Sep 10
i really like your response, especially when you mentioned what really is important .the fact that they both enjoyed being together.that's the way it should "always" be. Thank you for your response.
• Philippines
16 Sep 10
it depends really, me and my partner at first he used to pay tab. but right now what we do is give and take, sometimes if he's the one inviting to go out he pays, but if im the one inviting ill be the one to pay. were kinda open about it actually, i know how much he's earning and he knows mine too. even in marriage if the wife's working i believe she should give something too. :)
@jujunme (2403)
• United States
16 Sep 10
Definitely,give and take in any relationship is what makes it a healthy one.also, income has a lot to do with who pays the most but in any relationship either party should always find a way to share expenses anytime they can afford to Thank you for your response.
• United States
16 Sep 10
I think the guy should pay for the first few dates but after a while it gets old. Ladies have to step up and pay as well as a mutual decision. My boyfriend and I have dated for over three and half years and I do not like him paying for the tab all the time, it is nice once in a while but I have to treat too!
@jujunme (2403)
• United States
16 Sep 10
What you have is mutual respect for one another. You don't take for granted that just because he's your bf he should pay for everything , that's really nice to hear. thank you for your response.
@kharlav (1673)
• Philippines
16 Sep 10
For the first 3 dates, I think it would be right for the one who invited to pay the bill and not just the men. But if they are already together, boyfriend-girlfriend or married couple then they could split the tab if they want.
• United States
16 Sep 10
I believe that the one who did that asking should pay the tab. The reason for this is because of the fact that you are asking this person, and the reason you are doing it is because you are the one who has the money otherwise you wouldn't be doing the asking. Basically, the one who has the money is the one doing the asking.
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
16 Sep 10
Normally it is my bf that pays. sometimes i do offer and he takes it - i don't mind at all. :D but most of the time he pays our bill
@johney264 (548)
• China
16 Sep 10
in china always boy pay, if the girl sympathize the boy then check first and pay strive as much as possible.but the boy will still insist to pay by himself.