What is the ideal age difference between couples for a perfect marriage

@durgabala (1370)
India
September 21, 2010 2:29am CST
I am 4 yrs younger to my husband. I feel this is a very good age difference where we generally have same ideas on many issues. My mother is 8 yrs younger to my father and my aunt is 16 yrs younger to her husband. Does this age difference carry any significance in a marriage? many today get married at the same age. or is there any differences in relationship when the lady is the older one? all these thoughts came into mine, when I said there is a girl younger by 10 yrs for marriage to my cousin, who didn't wish such an alliance. he wanted a girl of his age or 2 or 3 yrs younger or older to him. My friends share your ideas and experiences......
11 responses
• Philippines
21 Sep 10
Age does matter an older woman when she could not bear a child which could be a source of conflict. Also those people around have nothing to do but spread rumor or tease the one who is older making her appear miserable. So before marrying love is not enough and those things need to be talk before settling down. But if the love is so strong whether with a baby or none the relationship should go smoothly uncaring of what others people have to think. An age gap just like yours still good but age beyond ten years is such a big gap differences but would not matter as long as both are compatible with each other.
@durgabala (1370)
• India
22 Sep 10
Times have changed, marriages are happening between odd couples....today due to science and technology baby bearing has become very easy. conflict or not, the best would be to follow what has being going on for years. compatibility love understanding all are good words for a debate, in real life there is more to face....Thanks for your nice response.
@aarpees (149)
21 Sep 10
I think, as long as the man is older than you by four years (in terms of maturity) , the relationship will run smoothly. A man who is more immature that you are is very difficult to handle, so it is highly suggestive that men should be really older than women, so that you are both on the same wavelength.:)
@durgabala (1370)
• India
21 Sep 10
this logic was applied by our forefathers then, and it continues still, but today's youth do not mind ladies being older than them...do not know what will happen after kids and when they grow older.....???? Thanks for your nice response.
@mlhervas (482)
• Philippines
21 Sep 10
My girlfriend is 12 years younger than me... We have some little misunderstandings every now and then but nothing serious. Most women would prefer having a serious relationship with men who are older than them. Since generally, men tend to mature very late than most women. But still there are some men who matured earlier and got married to someone who are older than them. Age really does not matter... as long as both are matured enough they can get married happily.
@durgabala (1370)
• India
21 Sep 10
That's right, but what happens is since ladies are matured than guys of same age, they tend to dominate. so there are more ego clashes. but anyway, today's youth is much careful and matured enough to handle any kind of relationship....thanks for sharing your thoughts.
@plop5th (32)
21 Sep 10
I think age isn't an important factor for marriage. It doesn't matter how old you both are, but your compatibility. You could be the same age but fight all the time, or be twenty years apart from each other in age and live harmoniously. It depends on the individual person and their personality rather than age.
@durgabala (1370)
• India
21 Sep 10
of course compatibility does matter....thanks for sharing your ideas.
• Indonesia
21 Sep 10
I guess 5 years older for your husband is ideal age.
@durgabala (1370)
• India
21 Sep 10
Ok...even I guess...thanks.
@ankster (273)
• India
21 Sep 10
My hubby is 4 years elder to me and I believe it is the perfect age gap.I have experienced that in few things he is more mature than me and that smoothens our decision making and balance.In few things Iam caring and in few things he is understanding so I beleive there should be a reasonable gap so that right balance is maintained.I think people of same age should not marry because some where or the other they develop ego clashes and both have same maturity levels which harms in lifes strides.When a guy is elder to girl the adjustment becomes easy Thats what I feel.
@durgabala (1370)
• India
21 Sep 10
ya even I think so, people of same age may fight more on decision making. thanks for such a nice response.
21 Sep 10
Well I have dated younger guys and am now married to my husband that is 5 yrs older than me. In my experiance I would say the older guy truimphs. They are more mature and seem to be more understanding too.
@durgabala (1370)
• India
21 Sep 10
May be this was the reason why it was set that the guy should be older to the girls. thanks for your good response.
• Singapore
22 Sep 10
When it comes to marriage, three things come into my mind. Love, ideas and age. For a marriage to be successful, the love must be there and be strong. Difference of ideas may also be of concern in a marriage. If two partners are strongly in love and are married, but they always have conflicts in ideas, no matter how loving they are, they will argue everytime if their ideas conflict and especially one partner insists on his/her idea. Lastly, age, which is the most important aspect in marriage. Marrying someone too young or too old is rare. If for a man, he is younger than his partner by 10 to 20 years, what will his mother feel? Let's imagine his mother's thoughts: What? I have to take in someone the same age as me, as my daughter-in-law??? This is the problem. Love is something that is very hard to explain and it's not math or science. For me, the ideal age difference between couples should be same age, or maybe a difference of 2 to 3 years. Well, this is my opinion.
• Canada
22 Sep 10
My parents are 7 years apart. My grandparents on my mom's side are 10 apart. I think the older you get, the less age matters. For example, we might balk at a 18 and 40 year old but 60 and 82? Not so much. But I suppose if you grow up around the same time your views would be more similar than if there were a generation gap.
@RossBoyy (161)
• United States
21 Sep 10
There should be no age for love. But most girls will tend to go for older men purely because they are more mature than boys that are the girls age.
@vinnz21 (23)
• Philippines
21 Sep 10
There's no such ideal age to prefer in having a perfect marriage. All what we need here is love each other to have a perfect marriage in addition is understanding.