Old Flame found on Facebook!

Philippines
September 23, 2010 11:24am CST
Recently, I decided to open my hubby's facebook account & there open up a can of worms. Apparently, when I logged in, he did not erase his chat history and there I found him confessing to an old male friend that he is still in love with his ex-Girlfriend after seeing her profile in FB. It was a shocking revelation, a slap in my face..never thought I married a man for over 10 years with his heart set on somebody else. They may not have been together physically but would still consider it as emotional cheating, for all I know, he could be thinking of her while we were together all these years. I confronted him shortly thereafter, he was in denial but later confirmed that he is still attracted to her. I decided to end the marriage and he went berserk which is I don't understand. I gave him his freedom to sort out what he feels for this girl and for our marriage to falter. For all those women who are in a relationship such as this, What would you feel if you have found your BoyFriend/Husband confessing that they are still in love with someone from their past? Any reaction or opinion is fondly appreciated...thanks!
2 responses
@kquiming (2997)
• Philippines
23 Sep 10
i would feel betrayed. used. and react exactly the way you did. i'd rather end the marriage than continue living a lie.... i don't want to make myself believe that this guy loves me , when i've proven that deep inside his heart, i'm only 2nd best.... he went berzerk probably because he can't stand of losing a wife. A WIFE, not YOU as a person... but of course, you still have options here...you can give him time to sort things out and Who knows, maybe he'll realize that he loves you more than he loves his ex.... but are you satisfied with that? meaning, he loves you more, but he also loves his ex (although less). it's up to you...10 years of marriage is not something that's easy to just forget about.....
• Philippines
23 Sep 10
Hi kquiming, thanks for the opinion..Nobody wants to settle for just the second best.... When I asked him to leave, he didn't...and you're right maybe he doesn't want to lose a Wife..we are still living together & promised he will never entertain whatever feelings he has for this girl...this time he's no longer fooling me but he is fooling himself...We are a childless couple which has pinned my thoughts more that our 10 years of marriage was just nothing but a piece of paper....For now, I will see where this road shall lead us...
@kquiming (2997)
• Philippines
24 Sep 10
I think you're making the right and wise choice...of course on your part, you also wouldn't just wanna let it go without giving a fight right??? at least one last fight.... but if he ever offends you again or does something to terribly hurt you , which has something to do with his feelings for his ex, just IN CASE this happens, hope you'll be strong enough to let him go.... But nah, I hope it doesn't have to come to that point for the two of you. He should have realized by now that he loves you... Take care.
• India
23 Sep 10
sorry , to know abt. that. i understand what u r feeling at this time. do u have children? if yes for urs children sake u must forget all this u must not care abt what he is doing u just enjoy ur life
• Philippines
23 Sep 10
Hi deepali, like I have mentioned above...we are a childless couple so there is nothing to hold on to but just a piece of paper that were married...I gave him his freedom, I don't know why he still around...