sad relationship

October 13, 2010 1:21pm CST
I think I've been feeling depressed lately,actually more or less for 2 months now. I am in a girl to girl relationship and we've been together for more than 2 years. She went abroad 6 months after we met and we lived together here. We had intense love for each other and we had fights over things but we always do resolve it. After a while having a long distance relationship I feel like she controls me too much.. She told me to get a job and so I did, after a few months she would argue with me and that I should resign from my job. I had a pretty good job, I loved what I was doing and I also landed a very good high position for the company. But my girlfriend complains too much that I cant attend to her nagging and demands anymore.yes, nagging! She would swear and throw tantrums at me all the time. Right now, I just stay at home.. jobless and attend to her from 2pm until 3am in the morning.I feel so stressed out..burnt out.depressed.hopeless.ugly.unwanted.fat.stupid. Every time we are in a fight I hear these things from her and that I only want her money but the fact that I do not even use her money that she put in my bank account. I would get insults that nobody will ever love or like me because I am ugly, fat, boring, stupid, slow, useless,selfish. We've been having a series of arguments for 2 weeks and after that, I slowly felt like everything she threw at me..I feel worthless. Now,every time we talk, am just speechless and I cant even pick up almost everything that she's saying, I feel awfully sad and empty and all the time a cry without her knowing everytime she demands, every time she tells those words that hurt me so much.I love her so much, but, I feel worthless and unwanted. I am sad and cant even tell her how she makes me sad...lonely. because, she will never listen and that im being selfish for now understanding her because she's far from me and her family. I know im doing everything for her..doing my best to please her, but its just not enough for her standards.
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