How to deal with overprotective parents? :/
October 16, 2010 6:15am CST
I'm in college right now and my parents are overprotective. I really don't know why, but one of my friends said to me that they do not trust me, that's why they do not allow me in hangouts, outings, etc. I felt sad about that, knowing that I haven't had any major mistake that I've done towards them. I can't hangout with friends, classmates, etc. And in fact, they call me a "baby" because of my situation. :| I envy some of my friends because they have the freedom to do those things. So, how do you deal with this problem especially to girls like me who are under this situation too?
• United States
16 Oct 10
I am a mother of a 16 year old who I gave too much freedom. She has friends over all the time. Goes out with them in the neighborhood and more. She has been in trouble with the law three times hanging with the wrong crowd. Your parents care for you so much they want to keep you safe. I did not want to be too strrct and she run away and things. But,I made a big mistake and slowly I am getting her back on the right track. Take care..
16 Oct 10
Oh I see. Actually I understand my parents, they keep on saying that they care so much about me. But sometimes, maybe it's not right anymore. Even if we have a special event in school, they do not allow me. I'm just worried on the impact that it might give to my social life.
16 Oct 10
I have overprotective parents too. I was able to manage it though by introducing my friends to my parents and let my friends hang out often in my place. If they see that my friends are such good influences on me, they would allow me to hang out more often.
16 Oct 10
Thank you for your response. But actually, I've already introduced my friends to them by letting them stay in our house even just for a few hours. But it seems that it doesn't have an effect at all. I just think that my parents cared so much about my own welfare.
22 Oct 10
Better idea is to prove to them that you really can take care of yourself, dont rush on things just take situation into your hand somehow. this can be the case when it comes to boys for girls i must say parents must be overprotective you know.the best way for you is to earn your trust from your parents by introducing your friends to your parents. if i were to be a parent to a girl i would do anything to protect my child, if it was a boy i can understand that he has to stand up to world for his sake. you must understand they really care for you and you too must love them. there is no dealing with it..if you care for yourself ask you parents that you need a little freedom.
17 Oct 10
Have you tried talking to your parents? Explain to them... in a respectful way that you're growing up, and there are things you want and need to experience in life. I doubt that they don't trust you, maybe they don't trust the world around you. Sit down with them and explain that you're glad that you have parents who care, but you would like to have a little more freedom to experience hanging out with your friends and classmates outside of school. Just so when you go out in to the "real" world, you won't be left behind.
17 Oct 10
i have overprotective parents too (well mainly my dad). for starters, i know the feeling of being envious of others who don't have it rough just asking permission to hang out, i even tried 'desperate' measures twice just to experience night outs. but i don't believe that it's because your parents don't trust you that's why they are protective of you. we know that the world has grown a bit more dangerous as years or even days go by and that just scares the heck of parents and makes them think twice of letting us go or not. Either that or they've had some of that and had a bad experience and don't want that to happen to their children. but as kids, or growing teens, we want to explore and have fun once in a while, right? if you know you haven't done anything to make them lose their trust in you, try persuading them into permitting you out some times. give the basic facts, the 4W and 1H and if possible turn guilt on them. i pretty much have my freedom now since i already graduated. perhaps your parents have the same thought as my dad as well - when you're a student, study. all the fun and games, do it when you are done, so my outings were kept only in the day. not much night outs. Somehow that made me even more motivated to finish everything in one turn while collecting as much trust as possible.
17 Oct 10
Fortunately I didn't experience such over protectiveness. Well, my parents also didn't allow me to go anywhere unless they know the people I was with can be trusted. I think what you can do( I also did it during my school days)is to bring your friends to your home so that your parents can meet them, that way, they can observe whether your friends can be trusted and maybe next time you ask permission to go out with them, they will allow you. Don't forget at your parents love you so much and they only want what's best for you, they want you to be always safe :)
17 Oct 10
Don't hear your friend's words. The fact is that your parents are really loooooooveee you very much!!! They are the only two human beings who always need to ensure themselves that you are OK. They are the only two creatures in the earth who will not able to sleep well unless they know where are you and whom are you with. Don't you know that? Trust is a matter of time. It needs some proofs too. later, you'll gain it little by little before those beloved people really feel free to say OK to you. Good luck!