Still good friends with your ex-lover?

Philippines
October 28, 2010 9:37am CST
I don't think I can do it. Would prefer not to see or talk to him after the break-ups. Especially if he hurts me that much, how can I be a good friend to him?
3 responses
@ren_hbl (14)
• Philippines
28 Oct 10
It depends on how a break-up happened. But, usually it ends up you being hurt. And, it wouldn't be normal for ex-lovers to be friends right after a break up. It would take sometime to adjust, especially that you hurt each other's feelings. Have a friend with you or someone whom you can tell what happened. Cry it out. Pour out your emotions. And, give yourself a break. And as time passes by, you should learn to forgive and accept things. This is for you to completely move on with your life without bringing anger and pain. And through that, you'll be again open to a new avenue that leads you to true happiness.
• United States
29 Oct 10
Ok if it was a mutual breakup where you both decided it just wasn't working but with one or both of the people in the relationship getting hurt...it will be hard. Exspecially if one still has feelings towards the other. I tried this once i talked to my other and told them it just wasn't working between us and probably never would and she didnt understand that...so i told her nicely we could still be friends, i tried being friends with her it went on for awhile, but everytime we hung out she would bring up the past and/or try to win be back from downing my boyfriend..so after months of the crying, begging and pleading plus downing my new man...i told her she made her choice she would not LET me be her friend because she could not just get over the fact that there was no me && her and never would be again and that i was happy with who im with now. so with that being said it will either work trying to be friends or it wont.
• India
28 Oct 10
Yeah, i know your situation. Even my ex-girl dont like to be friends with me. Even if i head her, she will avoid me like anything telling that i hurted her so much and she dont have any relation with me. Majority of the girls character are like this. If a girl hates someone, then there will be no hope.
@beeh13u (1040)
• Philippines
29 Oct 10
Not true my friend. It is much more on guys. Girls are fickle minded while guys are constant minded. If a girl wants to break up, she'll have to think it through, on and off her decisions are. But if from a guy, "That's it, PERIOD.". I think those girls who doesn't want to be loved anymore are players. But not applicable to all. Just base on my experience.
@Skade24 (750)
• Romania
28 Oct 10
No, we are not good friends, in fact i don`t even talk with him anymore, not that we had a fight when we broke up or something, but i simply don`t speak with him anymore, because i understand that he still have some feeling for me and i don`t want to make him confused, and i know that talking with him i could make my actual boyfriend get angry, and i don`t want to do that to him.