How much will you be willing to put up with?
By 34momma
@34momma (13882)
United States
November 3, 2010 1:59pm CST
This goes out to both men and women...
You are with someone who is the best thing that has ever happen to you. This person loves you like no other. They tell you and show you in all ways that you are the most important person in the world to them. They take care of you and all of your needs.... There's just one thing.
THEY HAVE SOMEONE ON THE SIDE!!!
Now is this something you would deal with because you feel you have a good partner and don't want to cause trouble? Or do you think no matter what you want to be the other person!
What's your thoughts on this
4 people like this
10 responses
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
3 Nov 10
They tell you and show you in all ways that you are the most important person in the world to them.
Think about it...IF you were really the most important person in the world to them, WHY would they need somebody on the side???? 
WHY would you want to stay with somebody who would LIE about something so freakin IMPORTANT???
There is a good chance that if he's done it once, he WILL do it again!!! It sounds to me as though you've already made up your mind what you're going to do. So, I doubt that what i think will change anything. I can tell you from personal experience that "once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater!!!" 
WHY would you want to stay with somebody who would LIE about something so freakin IMPORTANT???
There is a good chance that if he's done it once, he WILL do it again!!! It sounds to me as though you've already made up your mind what you're going to do. So, I doubt that what i think will change anything. I can tell you from personal experience that "once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater!!!" 
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
4 Nov 10
Bing...Your inexperience is showing here. At 20 I agreed with you. At 60 I've seen way too many cheaters do it over & over & over again!!! It has been my experience that if the person being cheated on forgives them, then they will most definitely cheat again!!!! Yes, there are a few who only cheat once & then learn their lesson; however, there are MANY MORE who continue to cheat!!! Those I've known that never cheated again (or didn't get caught) weren't forgiven right away & had to prove their right to be trusted again.
It really depends on the people whom you trust and how they value Honesty.
IF they valued Honesty, they wouldn't cheat to begin with!!! Cheaters are NOT Honest people by the manner they choose to live their lives!!!! Honest people don't LIE to those they truly love....cheaters lie to their spouse & to the person they're cheating with. "Honey I've got to work late tonight." is a lie if they are really going to see their lover. "I'm going to leave my spouse so we can be married." is a lie when they KNOW they are too chicken to follow through. They are just saying what is necessary to get what they want!!!
She may be lucky enough to have the 1 in 1 million that never cheats again if she just forgives him with NO consequences, but I don't have the 1 billion dollars I'm willing to bet that it will happen again if she forgives him without consequences!!! WHY WOULD A WOMAN WANT A MAN WHO PRETENDS SHE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO HIM & THEN CHEATS??? He does NOT deserve her TRUST!!!!
2 people like this
@Bingster_6 (309)
• Philippines
4 Nov 10
Hello Lady Marissa,
I would like to comment on your last statement, " Once a cheater, always a cheater", this is not so true to everyone of the person here in the world. This doesn't apply on all. It really depends on the people whom you trust and how they value Honesty. But if the person is really converted not to cheat again, then its really true, for there are rooms for changes. ^_^
2 people like this
@manleyjoe (1597)
• United States
3 Nov 10
love her better and do your best. Show your respect and trust in God.
2 people like this
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
4 Nov 10
Been there....DONE that...what a miserable 15 years! NOOOOO! Not bitter, BUT very head-shy. The only room for a third party in any relationship...is the fruit of your co-habitance...a child! If you have any spare love...they deserve it all! I am totally MONOGAMOUS...and whence I squander "my love and trust" truly expect the same in return. Cheers!
1 person likes this
@gitfiddleplayer (10362)
• United States
4 Nov 10
Who wants to be second best. I wouldn't put up with it, I would give them a choice, if they choose the other then I wouldn't regret their decision. Too many people are settling for somebody because they don't think they can have just one person. I wouldn't do it, if you have to put up with somebody in a relationship then its all based on condition and nobody should have any conditions on love.
2 people like this
@aurorastorm (1131)
• United States
4 Nov 10
For me, it is a deal breaker. I have to much self respect for myself to put up with my partner cheating on me with someone else. There are so many good partners out there and I could surely find another one, that wants to be faithful.
@Bingster_6 (309)
• Philippines
4 Nov 10
Hello Momma,
Truly, its really awful and painful, they have someone on the other side, too bad for that, they are not true to their words and they have just that big mouth over their heart and mind. So, for me, even how good they are to me, It would be better to leave them and be their friend, than to be their lover, there are so many guys out there that will love you as you do. ^_^ But there are some religion, practicing polygamy. I respect their practice. ^-^
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
12 Nov 10
I don't mind my man looking at other women as long as he doesn't touch. It doesn't bother me at all because I'm secure with myself however, no way in hell would I allow him to have another woman on the side. No way in hell! The reason being is because there's so damned many diseases out there and I want no part of any of them besides, why marry me if he wanted some on the side? And I don't consider that love if he were to want or need another woman on the side. So if he doesn't love me then he needs to move on because I don't want to be with a man, no matter how much I love him or how good he is to me, if he doesn't love me.
@mentalward (14691)
• United States
4 Nov 10
Actually, if my man had someone on the side then he would NOT love me like no other because he would be causing me pain. If he didn't care that his "someone on the side" hurt me bad emotionally, then he would not be the man for me because that is not love.
Saying he loves me and truly showing it are sometimes two different things. I don't fall for what a person says to me, I wait to see their actions because their actions are the truth while words can be lies.
Nah, a man would not be taking care of all my needs if he was occasionally with someone else. Call me selfish but there are some things I simply will not share. I'd rather not have him at all if he insisted on having this other person on the side. There would be someone out there for me who wants me and ONLY me.
@theaphilus (6)
• Philippines
5 Nov 10
I wouldn't tolerate cheating. never! may it be small or big, in love or in life will I ever put up with it. I always tell my husband that if he loves me and our child and wouldn't want us gone fro his life then he should always think a million times before even getting his hands on something dirty. Luckily, and of course with God's guidance he is in the right track. We make him feel everyday how much we love him and how much life is more beautiful because we are together. ( That ought to give him a lot to think about)
1 person likes this
