Does Facebook wreck serious romantic relationships?

Philippines
November 4, 2010 8:04am CST
According to some of my friends who are in a relationship and are still going strong, they keep their bond stronger by not being friends on Facebook even if they have their accounts. They say this will avoid jealous tendencies and stalking one's partner, which is not healthy in a relationship because it breeds distrust. Also they believe that keeping their relationship private and away from prying eyes of people is the best way to show respect to one's partner. What do you think?
3 people like this
14 responses
@choybel (5059)
• Philippines
4 Nov 10
Although it is true that jealousy and mistrust may emerge due to facebook accounts, it should also be noted that honesty is the best foundation next to love when it comes to a relationship, and having nothing to hide and be jealous of, I think that both members of the relationship would do okay having accounts in facebook. On the other hand, I do know a friend whose relationship has turned almost upside down because of facebook and of the reasons you have stated. So, bottomline for me, whichever way is safe, I choose that way.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Nov 10
You have a very good point there about honesty in a relationship and not allowing Facebook to get in the way. Sad to say, though, there are people who let Facebook run their lives to the point of addiction. I have a few friends who are now living in Facebook world, and have totally closed their doors on reality. It's crazy to think how much power social networking sites can have on some people.
@choybel (5059)
• Philippines
4 Nov 10
I guess some people's world is the cyberworld and they have their reasons.
• United States
4 Nov 10
By itself, Facebook cannot wreck serious romantic relationships. It's how the people use facebook. Usually people break up on facebook because something emerges between them which one of them didn't know. That's not facebook's fault. That's a trust problem between the two people. And once honesty and trust aren't important in a relationship and people hide things from one another, things come up. And sometimes through facebook.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
5 Nov 10
Exactly! You nailed it right there. We should not be blaming Facebook for our inequities.
• Philippines
4 Nov 10
Hello Theredquill, Facebook is a public social site, for me, it doesn't wreck serious romantic relationships, for it only depends on the couple if they really treasure each other that much ,then they will not think of second thoughts. Like me, and in my relationship with, its would be better for us,to add ourselves at facebook than not friends at all , it's a weird thing if you're not friends at facebook right? because you're friends with your other colleagues and how much more with your lover? ^-^
• Philippines
4 Nov 10
Hi Bingster, your answer got me thinking for a moment. You're right, it would be strange to shut off your cyber social life to the one that matters most to you. But sometimes it takes a really mature relationship and couple to whether the storms brought about by the cyber world.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
4 Nov 10
I don't think that Facebook necessarily can wreck a serious romantic relationship. I think that we are more than capable of doing this on our own.
• Philippines
4 Nov 10
Or maybe we can say Facebook is just being used as an "accessory to the crime."
@Renhard (3480)
• Jamaica
4 Nov 10
Its true. Facebook will wreck certain relationship because as you go on your spouse cant resist the fact to keep on looking at your profile. And the least suspicious thing that she sees, the more problem start to grow. Every comment that you make you have to make sure it is rephrased properly because you dont want your lover to take things the wrong way
• Philippines
4 Nov 10
Haha! I can't agree more. This is so true. Curiosity is human nature. Maybe that's what pushes us into using these social networking sites anyway. But as they say, curiosity can kill a cat, or maybe a relationship.
• Philippines
5 Nov 10
Well, look at that. I have the same view as those partners. I didn't add my girlfriend in facebook and in friendster because of that same reason. I want her to have her own set of friends and I have my own. I consider myself sweet to everyone especially to girls that's why it helps not to add my girlfriend's account on either of the two. She might get jealous.
• Philippines
5 Nov 10
As they say, to each its own. If that's okay with both partners, then I think that's perfect. Personally, I think it's call that you're giving each other space. It might also mean that you trust each other, because you know that the other person won't do anything to jeopardize the relationship. But what if the other party doesn't know that you are "hiding" your cyber social life from him or her, wouldn't that cause a problem when he or she finds out?
4 Nov 10
I think it some cases its good to keep the relationship private, but in others its fine to put it on facebook or make it public because if you know your partner that well and its a serious relationship.. you should trust them to stick by your side so theres no need to keep it private in those cases. Myself i have my wife on my facebook page and we trust each other and get on with facebook as we want to and no one has bothered us, even if they did it wouldn't change our relationship.
• Philippines
5 Nov 10
That's the hallmark of a mature relationship. I am happy for you and your wife. Keep enjoying each other and the friendship of Facebook friends as well. Cheers!
@areximut (87)
• Indonesia
4 Nov 10
not for me, I always open relation to other. Romantic relationship is not look from facebook profile, but it show from heart to heart.
• Philippines
4 Nov 10
Thanks for your response. It is true that we shouldn't be looking for love in the cyber world. If it comes, then good. But it should not be the means to the end.
• Canada
4 Nov 10
Well married couples shouldn't be on Facebook, married couples should be at work working if you never had a strong foundation to your relationship it will break down some day so the husbands feels it and fears it only when he doesn't fulfill his wife's desires and needs
• Philippines
4 Nov 10
Good point.
• United States
5 Nov 10
Facebook does not ruin relationships. Sometimes, however what people do on Facebook can. If a couple is truly in love and respectful of that love there should be no problems caused by a social networking site. As for not being friends, that is absurd to me. My husband is my best friend, how could I have a list of friends that didn't include him? We are very open about what we do online, we leave our chats up even if we're not in the room, we have each others passwords so if we want to leave a message but can't we can send each other on to do it. If a person has something to hide it is the person who will wreck the relationship, not the forum on which he/she chooses to do wrong. It is late, and I'm not sure how well I've said what I wanted to, but I hope it came across correctly.
• United States
5 Nov 10
A lot of relationships have been successful without Facebook or any social networking site for that matter. This leads me then to say that Facebook shouldn't be the basis of a healthy relationship. Facebook users just have be careful with what they write or post and not to be careless. Like how we should all be IN LIFE. More importantly, if a relationship is stable enough, then it shouldn't be affected by anything. True love is tested by these things and if it stands this test, then they are bigger and better people for it.
• Philippines
5 Nov 10
Well, some of these applies to other people while for some people it does not apply to them as they know to carry their relationship. And facebook is a social network to connect with people they love or for sort of friendship and mean of networking. True love when the bond is so strong is out of the feeling of being insecure as the trust is within each other whether their is facebook or none the one who makes the relationship hold strong or weak depend on the lover alone so they are the one who could decide their own fate not other things or other people influences..
• Philippines
4 Nov 10
Well it actually depends on how you look at it. In this case if couples are fighting there will come a point where one of them is going to post negative comments to the other causing a cataclysm. This case is more likely to pour more gasoline into the already burning issues they have.
@yanyanyow (329)
• Philippines
4 Nov 10
im kinda against this because i believe that if your in a relationship, you should give full trust to your partner to avoid jealousy. by not giving him/her your facebook account will just make you look that your hiding something from your partner. so to be able to work things out, you should allow your partner to trust you and understand you