High school bullies, what would you do to the bullies now that you are older?

United States
November 10, 2010 11:12pm CST
High school bullies that is the question, now that we are older what do you think you would have done different? I had this one guy that would always bump in to me for no reason at all and sometimes you are not paying attention and you look like a fool almost falling down and you just keep walking and letting him get away with it. I would love to be back there just for a second and just punch him out. I know its a little to harsh but I still think about it so it must have bothered me a lot back than. If you were the bully I would love to know why why why did you bump into me why. What did you get out of it, were you a better person than I was. Anyway what would you like to do with this bully.
2 people like this
11 responses
@Strovek (870)
• Malaysia
11 Nov 10
Chances are you will never see them again or you may become their boss someday. If you take revenge then you are no better than them. Better to show them that you are a better person.
• United States
11 Nov 10
I don't agree on this one, I know I am a better person but I am not going to let them get away with it this time. They are going to pay. If I was in high school that is. lol the important part.
@Strovek (870)
• Malaysia
12 Nov 10
That's why we have wars. Escalation - an eye for an eye. I read somewhere that the aggression between Christian and Muslim can be traced to sibling rivalry. Many wars are started because of egos and vengeance. The circle of violence need to stop!
• United States
12 Nov 10
You are right, I guess that's why we are always going to have wars. We can't stop it, If I stop he is not going to stop.
• United States
11 Nov 10
It is funny how we can think back, but at the time we did not think it was funny. Amazing how the bullies back then thought they were cool and did all sorts of things to other people just get some laughs, unknowing how this would affect a person later in life. I do think a bit on how the bullies behaved towards me back in the day and although it is a bit upsetting still, what I try to do is remember that while they were acting this way, I knew at some point they would encounter someone yet bigger and bigger bully, so all I can think is that they either changed their ways or someone beat their ways out of them.
• United States
11 Nov 10
Like I stated above I was 13 in High school, wait how can you be 13 and be in high school. I skipped a couple of grades anyway back to this bully, do you really think he got what he deserved, someone else beat him up. Some one bigger than him. Why should this satisfy me like I said above I want to be the one to pay him back since he did this to me not anyone else. He does not have the right to make me afraid so much that I did not want to go to school. The teacher above said that his father beat him up, so go beat up your father why beat me up. Who is this guy, is it me?
• United States
12 Nov 10
Being 13 and being in high school is very possible as I graduated high school when I was 16. But I suppose that unless you can't comfort yourself knowing that some point perhaps the bully got what he deserved. At least think about being the bigger one now as you really do not have to stoop to his level. I truly wish you well with this as it is bugging you so much. I hope you can find resolution with it and get passed it somehow.
• United States
12 Nov 10
I do not think I will ever get passed it, I have to live with it. All I want to say is it has affected me to this date, I am truly afraid of him popping out of a corner one day and I would not know what to do and he probably would never remember me. I wonder would he bump into me again.
• Australia
11 Nov 10
Having been severely bullied at school, your question has really given me cause to reflect. As an adult - and student teacher - I have come to the realisation that bullying is an epidemic that runs much deeper than a simple bout of naughtiness. For instance, as an adult I learned that one of the bullies who targetted me in secondary school was severely beaten by his father. And, while I don't condone what he did to me, I do understand - in hindsight - that his behaviour at school was an outlet for what he was going through at home. So, with that in mind, I would want to get to the root cause of the behaviour. Punishing a bully is not going to work if they have been bullied themselves; if they have no positive influence; or their anger is the consequence of deep emotional and psychological anguish. I do not believe that children are inherently bad; but bullying is an issue that is a lot more difficult to tackle once they have grown up. If it is handled at its earliest stages then the cycle of violence can stop. I realise that this does little to relieve the distress of the victin; however, I feel that the bullying will cease with greater speed and ease if more adults ask the bully why they behave the way that they do; instead of simply telling them not to.
• United States
11 Nov 10
I can see by your writing that you are going to be great teacher, but at that time you do not think about him being beat up at home because you are a child yourself. I think some people are just bad inside and they will continue to bully people thru their life till the end. As I think about it now some days I would not go to school just to avoid him. He does not have that right, to deprive me of a education. Than you come along and say its not his fault, well its not my fault either.
• United States
11 Nov 10
holesworth: I was already thinking along your lines there. I am a middle school teacher, and I see bullies in a totally different light now. In most cases, they are the most, for lack of a better way to say it, damaged, kids. They are good examples of the old teacher's addage: "there are not problem kids just kids with problems." When I look back, if I knew then what I know now, I would probably continue to ignore and avoid, but would add in genuine concern and pity. Don't get me wrong here, though: bullying is wrong. The only kids I feel worse for than bullies are the bullied. They often have similar issues but just handle those issues by becoming victims instead of acting out. It is a horrible cycle that really weighs on you when you are a teacher...especially if you are one who chooses to get deeply involved in the lives of your students (I think that has real value, but others disagree). You are right: asking why and then genuinely listening is one of the best things we can do for bullies ADN for the their victims. Very good post. Really.
• United States
12 Nov 10
As I stated before he did not have a right to deprive me of my education, When someone does not come to school maybe he does not have control of the situation. He is forced and bullied from getting a education. It is a shame.
@junil_jk (498)
• India
12 Nov 10
when i was a kid and in school, i wasn't a bully but i was short tempered. i didn't bully around but i remember beating up my pals if they upset me or we had a quarrel. i don't know, maybe i wasn't good at quarreling verbally (i still am not). so i used to let my actions do the talking. they were kinda scared of me - not that i demanded of it. that was when i was around in the 4th, 5th, 6th standard. but later on i quit that habit as i became more matured and sensible. so the second half of my schooling was a quiet one compared to my violent nature in the first half. i hardly even quarreled later on and was one of the coolest guys. i was happy that way. i had nothing but nice relationship with everyone. that was much better than the hot-headed, short-tempered, violent me. so, no bullying!
• United States
12 Nov 10
You said you still are not good at quarreling verbally, so would you beat up someone now for not agreeing with you on something. Like you other half?
@junil_jk (498)
• India
13 Nov 10
of course not! i'd try to calm things down or just back off and do something else to forget about it. i mean, come on, i'm not a kid anymore. i try not to involve in quarrels as much as possible and i don't really have much reason to either. i'm a peaceful guy now like i said. so try and settle things with understanding.
@lazerm (481)
• United States
12 Nov 10
bullies caused me to drop out of highschool; the garbage I had to put up with was nonstop. now, I would line up the bullies and execute them with an ak-47. overkill indeed,but efficient.
• United States
12 Nov 10
Could you really do that, I personally don't think I can do that. I am not that kind of a person. I do not have it in me to do something like that. Not a violent person.
@vangie26 (449)
• Philippines
12 Nov 10
It happened years ago already, so i think better let go of it. For sure, that bully is now matured enough to do it again. What happened to you is that you file those bullying thing for years. Release it and you'll see that you will be able to smile with that bully and who knows, that would be the start that he will remember those days and apologize. Be happy. :-) have a good day!
• United States
12 Nov 10
DO YOU really think so, If I see him again I would not know what to do. I do not see me and him being friends. I am not that kind of a person.
@asyria51 (2870)
• United States
11 Nov 10
I really think that bullies just need to go up against someone like them, get their block knocked off and put them back in their place, especially when they are older. There is only so much counseling and the like can do as they get older.
• United States
12 Nov 10
The problem with that is it does not do anything for me, I still have to live with the idea of him picking on me and some days I dream about it. I wake up in a sweat and do not know what to do. Oh I can say I wish I could meet him now I would punch him out, I do not know I can do that.
@grace24 (1050)
• Philippines
11 Nov 10
I think, if that happens to me i'll just don't mind him. Now that you are already grown up, there's no point on arguing with this guy. You are just wasting your time if you are going to take revenge. It is not good to take revenge on him. Just don't mind him and forgive him. Your current situation is different from the past. I mean just forgive him for being harsh to you, maybe he is just an immature guy before.
• United States
11 Nov 10
Hello first I want to thank you for your answer and secondly I am not god to forgive someone for what he did. It is out of my hands, I want him to suffer. I was 13 he was about 17 immature I am lost.
• Philippines
11 Nov 10
I was a transferee during my third year of high school. Of course not having friends or even acquaintances at school back then was a sure lure for bullying. I was the odd one out simply because I didn't belong to a specific crowd. I had a few shares of bullying the first few months. There were no saviors or people who protected me. The process of finding friends was a long process because I was extremely shy (and again, different). Well a teacher noticed my talent for fiction writing and I immediately got a writing stint at our school paper. I thought, finally, finally I'd belong to something worthwhile. Most of the staff were friendly, but a few kept on bullying me because apparently I got the writer's spot someone from the "popular crowd" was working for the past two years. So I got heckled, I got tripped, I got called names and all that jazz. Luckily I was not that sensitive. I won a contest for our school and that helped. Few months later, I got civil with the crowd. I got my own set of friends and the whole high school ordeal was bearable. If I was the one who bullied you, I wouldn't admit to your face that I was insecure of you. Lol.
• United States
11 Nov 10
What you are talking about is regular High school stuff, I am talking about someone that made you so afraid that you would act sick so you did not want to go to school. I must have been about 13 years old as I remember, I was so afraid and If I am still thinking about it now, I think it somehow changed my life. I do not know for good or bad, but I would just love to meet him today and sit down and talk to him. The person before you stated that his father maybe beat him up at home that is why he was like that towards me. But what did I care what his father did to him. I don't get it that kid is probably still bullying people or his in jail somewhere. I say that because he was not a good person, oh yeah because his father beat him up????????????
• Philippines
25 Nov 10
nothing i'm far too old to be associated with them anymore plus they probably won't talk to me cause some of them received a whupping from me back in the day hahaha
@wongchoiyee (6511)
• Malaysia
11 Nov 10
Well, I am not that sort of bully. I am not into action but words. I guess I have receive my punishment and now I asked for forgiveness. Anyway, if someone who alwyas bump into me I would like to smack them right to their face so they will remember who I am. Not such a weak girl.