What's the worst thing a parent could say to his/her child/children?
@totallyundecided (3190)
Philippines
December 4, 2010 3:23pm CST
Yesterday, while I was busy cleaning in our place. I can hear our neighbor scolding his 14 year old kid. Of course, anyone who gets scolded by their parents in front of many people is a little embarrassing, too.
Then this neighbor of mine telling his kid that he's the worst thing that that has ever happen to him and he wish ed her daughter was never born because she was useless and will be a total failure just like her mother(and then some profanities followed). Upon hearing it, I stopped from what I was doing and listened. Not to eavesdrop more but you see, when you're 14 years old already. I could say rebellion starts there already because kids nowadays grows up so fast. Can easily adapt to some mature content since technology has been bridging them to be exposed to the world of the grown ups, internet most especially and it has made them a little liberating.
I felt sorry for the kid because it has been an everyday routine to them. Her father comes home late at nights, drunk. And ever his "orders" will not be done right away, he gets angry and causes a little disturbance to us most of the times.
I remember before when I was 14 wherein my only concern was how to get a good poster of the backstreet boys and other pop sensations. My mom would just scold me if I am being a little messy or whenever my grades are like london bridge - falling down. LOL. But she could never say something like that to me because her words will be vindicated to me and will somehow provoke me to do rebel things.
What about you my friends. I mean, did you have such hurtful encounters like that with your parents? And if you are a parent, what's the worst thing you have said to your children? Thanks for sharing.
Happy morning monday from Philippines.
3 people like this
10 responses
@Avetre (26)
• United States
5 Dec 10
Oh, my. Call Child Protective Services on him, if you haven't already! There is a fine line between "bad parent" and "abusive", and he has clearly long since crossed it. This kid's father is setting her up for either repeatedly taking abusive partners or becoming abusive herself (or possibly both).
My husband grew up with an emotionally abusive and neglectful mother, but because she "only rarely" hit him, he didn't consider it abuse. The only reason he is alright today is because his grandmother took him in when he was in high school.
1 person likes this
@totallyundecided (3190)
• Philippines
5 Dec 10
Hi, Avetre. I wish it's easy for us here to just call the a help group when it comes to situations like this but my mom advised me not to meddle in their affairs. And since we're living in an apartment, though we're really concern, I mean, we can only do such thing if it's really out of hand but since we can't find any evidence yet that this kid is being abused physically (though I know she's been verbally and mentally abused), we just have to let them be. But we're on a look because this kid is really a good kid and it's a shame his father is really a vasthard. Tsk.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
5 Dec 10
I was raised in the system as I did not have parents and was constantly told that I was an unwanted child was very devastating. To hear that I was an orphan, and told that no one would love me was very difficult to deal with.
No normal human being should ever be hurtful with their words as it truly molds a child to be a terrible person in life. Although I am an exception, I suppose it was because after having my own two children I would never want them to feel unwanted, to the point where the terrible patterns of life could not be stopped.
@totallyundecided (3190)
• Philippines
5 Dec 10
Hi, HWG. I really admire you that you did not get astray and now that you have your own children, you are even giving them more than what you had receive during your childhood days and because of that... You are one of the most selfless person I know and one of the best mommies in the world.
You're children are lucky to have you and I hope they will forever appreciate you for what you have done to them. Giving them the best things in life. A mother's uncond
itonal love. 
itonal love. @totallyundecided (3190)
• Philippines
5 Dec 10
Thank you, too, HWK. You are an inspiration to everybody and a good role model as well. Thank you for letting us know you. I am humbled by your story.
God bless you and your family always.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
5 Dec 10
Awwh thank you, you know I went to visit my priest years ago and totally released some ill childhood feelings and he said that maybe one day, and a day I probably will not be alive to see but my children, children and so forth will be thanking me for breaking the pattern.
You know what he is right as I have the two most wonderful and respectful caring kids a mother could ever imagine. Thanks for your comment, I will be feeling wonderful the whole day. 
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
5 Dec 10
The worst thing a parent could say to a child is "I wish that I never gave birth to you" or "I should have aborted you".
@ganeshprabhuk (1722)
• India
5 Dec 10
I utmost scream at childrens or try not to speak to them when I am angry. I never use bad words or hit them. When I keep to myself and show my face, they realise their mistake and come and speak to me. Kids are considered as God and we cannot get angry on them right.
@totallyundecided (3190)
• Philippines
6 Dec 10
That's a good way of showing how caring you are ganes. By trying to contain yourself so that they will not have to be in fear. Instead, it's like a reverse psychology thing.
@babyEj (1522)
• Philippines
5 Dec 10
As a parent , I admit that sometimes I am driven by emotion so I say stupid words. Yet, I always do something to make him feel what I' trying to say. BUT..... saying "you're the worst thing happen to me" is unforgivable word to hear. It would really hurt.. We shouldn't say this words even if he/she's unwanted.
@totallyundecided (3190)
• Philippines
6 Dec 10
Thank you fo your honesty babyej. We all went that, driven by our emotions, and how i wished that I could have more will of thinking things over than by being dictated by emotions because hurtful words are hard to erase in the hearts of the ones we have hurt. Saying sorry can't even erase it. 
@hati3kuro (269)
• Malaysia
5 Dec 10
Poor little girl's gonna grow up hating on adults, trust me... raising a child from what I've seen my entire life is all about giving much love and protection towards them, in the hope that they will grow up becoming better individuals than the parents themselves.
LOVE - from the definition itself includes so many ways of expression, regardless of what it is, sometimes even scoldings are required, that of course, if the child is too stubborn to understand what's good for him/her. However the piece that you shared just now, was no more than an insult .. those parents didn't even realize that it was them from whom their child came from. I can never tolerate this kind of thought "You should never been born into this world in the first place" for it really reflects failure to accept and solve your own problems.
By the way the worst thing that my parents ever said to me was, "Do you wanna marry the CyberCafe's owner's daughter?"
@totallyundecided (3190)
• Philippines
6 Dec 10
Now I am curiuos. Forgive my intrusion. How come that's the worst thing your parents said you.. Hmmm.. You don't like the girl? 
@hati3kuro (269)
• Malaysia
7 Dec 10
Haha it's a whole lot of different meaning actually, totallyundecided..
It means that I spent too much time in the Cybercafe, oblivious to the time and going home late in the evening... it hurts me so much when she said that lol...
I don't know about you, but in my native language when you say that it's really offensive :P
Especially when the owner that my mom was referring to was a Chinese
@shaggin (71664)
• United States
5 Dec 10
That is so sad. She probably is a very sweet girl and has just a terrible father. I hate bad parents. There are a lot of things that are horrible to say to your children but I think two that I can think of are the worst... telling them you wish they had been aborted or telling them you hate them. If I had heard those words as a child I would have been so hurt.
@totallyundecided (3190)
• Philippines
5 Dec 10
Yes. I mean I don't want to judge this guy and I may not know what happened to him in the past but he should punish his daughter. He's only punishing himself even more. 
@TheAdvocate (2392)
• Philippines
5 Dec 10
He's a drunkard, what would do you expect? Most of the time, these people are ranting about their lives. They are a failure and they are in denial, and so they take these out on the people around them. I pity the child who had to listen to a useless drunk - I hope you or one of your neighbors will report this child abuse to DSWD.
As for me, no, my parents have never said those words to me, thankfully! I am lucky because my parents devoted their entire life to us. My mother use to be a party girl, but she stopped when she got married. She was always supportive of all our goals, and the best thing that I am grateful is that she always encouraged us to try something at least once - well, except for criminal activities. And when we fail, she is usually there to comfort us - usually with a bribe (like toys or food). I guess I am thankful that your neighbor is not my father, because I would probably have ran away.
@totallyundecided (3190)
• Philippines
5 Dec 10
That's true, Advocate. He's cleaning himself by throwing his own failures to other people and worst, to his own child.
I just wished there's anyway we could do something about it. I know we have. I am just waiting for a good timing.
Thanks a lot for sharing. You are lucky and very blessed indeed. And I like your mom. She enjoyed her life to the fullest and now she's enjoying it even more now that she has a family of her own.
@Sanitary (3968)
• Singapore
7 Dec 10
U are right, children now are more rebellious compared to the past due to technology. However, children of now are more restrained than children of the past when they are more violent. These days, children shows more disrespect by shooting their mouth off to their parents as if they are talking to friends. When kids don't show enough respect to parents, why should parents respect their kids too? Respect needs to be earned and not demand.
Some parents might be harsh on their words but they don't really mean it. They only want to motivate their children, just that wrong words are used.
@sanjay91422 (2725)
• India
5 Dec 10
I think you are absolutely right with your point. Children of these days are getting the exposure to the mature content through internet and TV. So they mature fast. I think it is a bad thing to schold your child in that manner. There are many other ways to make them understand what ever you want them to understand.
Many times people have their own problems and they throw all the anger on their children, as if they have produced them only to put all their mental garbage on them.
I think everyone should do the family planning after marriage and according to it they should take care of their child. Generally parents are not angre with their children, instead of that they have their office tension and all the tensions from around the world. They want to get a relief and they throw it all on their children. My solution for this situation is only this that don't produce children if you are not emotionally and financially prepared.
Thank you and have a nice day ahead.
@totallyundecided (3190)
• Philippines
6 Dec 10
Yes. Here in our country, Philippines, I admit we lack family planning and most families here suffer from poverty due to unpreparedness when it comes to planning on how many children.
Thanks for sharing, sanjay. Have a nice day, too. =)
