Don't change because you want to have someone........
@marapplestiffy (2182)
Philippines
December 7, 2010 11:09am CST
Yes, change is good...and its the only constant thing that happens in our life, but must we change ourselves to suit other people?
Changing one's negative attitude to make a relationship work is right, like being a nag, not trusting enough, starting fights, those little annoying things...actually its a must...but to change the way you dress, your foot wear preferences, your hobbies, those small trivial things that is uniquely you, would be totally overboard already right?
...because, isn't loving accepting the one you love as they are? I am all for change, but we should only change because we want to make ourselves better people not because someone is pushing us to do so...
do you agree with my point of view? if not, why?
2 people like this
15 responses
@allamgirl (2140)
• Philippines
7 Dec 10
I totally agree with you. A hundred percent! I remember having a similar discussion with my cousin nearly a year ago. We were drinking, so he actually made me cry when we talked about it. He told me that I always act smart that's why I intimidate guys. He says that I always have a smart comeback that can sometimes be associated with arrogance. I told him that I can't help it if I were smart. I even asked him what he thinks I should do. Like act dumb just to get some guy? I told him I would never do that. For me, if someone likes me, then he should put up with the good and the bad. I wouldn't change a thing for him, unless that would make me better.
2 people like this
@allamgirl (2140)
• Philippines
10 Dec 10
I know, right? Girls shouldn't act dumb just to get guys. We shouldn't repress who we really our just to get some attention. And you're right, only dumb guys fall for a girl who's playing dumb.
@marapplestiffy (2182)
• Philippines
8 Dec 10
Good for you!!!
Yes, why should you act dumb if your not? And if you act dumb only to get guys, the guys who fall for you are dumb guys too (not worth your time!)...we should all be with someone who can accept everything that we are...
@kramsgir (146)
• Philippines
7 Dec 10
:D yeah! I agree with you... We must change our bad sides even if no one told us to do so. Changing yourself just to please others is like hiding the real you!We don't need to change for us to be accepted by others... We don't need to change for us to be loved by others... but we change because we only want to become BETTER! :D
@marapplestiffy (2182)
• Philippines
8 Dec 10
we wouldn't be accepted by others if we try to change just to please them because they would only be accepting the false image that we show...the mask which we wear =C
@valerieanne (811)
• United States
7 Dec 10
I also feel change is a good thing. If you have to change to be with somebody, or because of somebody, I feel you are changing for the wrong reasons. If you are changing for somebody, that person really don't like you to begin with. Why would/should you have to change for somebody in the first place? IF you do change, make it for yourself, and to better yourself. I feel that if you change for the wrong reasons,you won't benefit from the change at all.
2 people like this
@marapplestiffy (2182)
• Philippines
7 Dec 10
Aye, totally wrong reasons which would only result to you not knowing yourself anymore....
@shaggin (71663)
• United States
8 Dec 10
If we come to the conclusion that there is something wrong with us that we dont like and someone brings it to our attention then it is ok to try to change. But for us to simply try to change ourselves just to make someone else happy is foolish because then when we let our guard down and finally show the real us the people who thought they really knew us realize they dont know us at all and might not like the real us. I'm honest and open if someone doesnt like me as I am then I dont need them in my life.
1 person likes this
@marapplestiffy (2182)
• Philippines
8 Dec 10
Its sad that some people would do anything to keep a person in their life even when it's obvious that they are detrimental to their happiness...I hope in time that they realize that they also don't need those people who try to change them in their lives =C
@hushi22 (4928)
•
7 Dec 10
i think it is okay to change if it is for the goodness of everyone.
but not to the point that the person will lose his/her unique personality.
i actually know someone like this. i got tired advising because she doesnt listen. her relationships never work because of this tactic.
1 person likes this
@marapplestiffy (2182)
• Philippines
8 Dec 10
;C
I actually started this discussion because of my friend but like you I don't like telling her the obvious anymore that is why I'm letting my frustration out here in myLot...
@sweetloveforeve (13106)
• Portugal
7 Dec 10
we should change ourselves only if we think we will be happier that way and not bcs of someone. i agree that some changes should be done when we are with someone but we shouldnt change completely who we are for no one or else we will lose our identity. we are who we are and if that person is with us is bcs loves us for who we are and not bcs we are someone they want us to be. we should always respect the person we say we love otherwhise we dont love that person.
2 people like this
@marapplestiffy (2182)
• Philippines
8 Dec 10
you got a point there, if we love a person we should respect them, and if we respect them we shouldn't try to change them C;
Thanks for this insight...
@celticeagle (159227)
• Boise, Idaho
8 Dec 10
Yes, change is definitely that. COnstant. One think to take into consideration before you ever get into a relationship is WHO AM I? Who do I want in my life? WHat type of person? What things will I put up with? What things will I NOT put up with? Figure these things out and then the nagging, making time, all that stuff is not an issue because you know who you are, what you want and what to expect from the person you have chosen to be in a relationship with.
@celticeagle (159227)
• Boise, Idaho
8 Dec 10
Life is too short not to go right to the heart of it. Yes, I think knowing ourselves is very important.
@marapplestiffy (2182)
• Philippines
8 Dec 10
As always, you go right into the heart of the matter celticeagle C=
We should know ourselves, we could change our dreams, our style of clothing, reshape our values, change religion, and so on...but what makes us "Us" is always the same if we know what we are...
1 person likes this
@mods196621 (3652)
• Philippines
8 Dec 10
Yes i am agree with you no need to change for negative way nut instead changed to good. As what you have said changing because of someone else but not suited to the personality we have is something not good for us. If we have our real personality then be it but for good. Positive attitude makes feel good. And i agree with it. Everybody loves the best way we are in real and true attitude we had.
@jasmeena (846)
• Indonesia
8 Dec 10
I agree with you. If we think that we need change, just go ahead, as long as it is from you, it is you who want change and for your own good, not because you`re pushed by someone.Why should we change our hobbies?I like watching football games, I like listening to all kinds of music, I start to motivate myself to learn piano again by downloading some tutorials from youtube, I like writing, Why should I change that for someone?If a man wants me not to watch soccer game and he asks me to stop taking piano lesson, I`d better leave him
1 person likes this
@nangisha (3496)
• Indonesia
9 Dec 10
I think if we wanna change our self its better is we realize we are wrong and want to a better person. Change because we want to impress someone will not last long because its not truly come from inside. There is time we will back to our habit and make many people disappointed. I think if we like someone we need to stay genuine. But there always compromise need to made in order to make relationship work.
@sanjay91422 (2725)
• India
8 Dec 10
I also think that Change is Life. It is necessary to change with the time for yourself. I should get changed when I decide that I have to change. Change also depends on the thing which you want to achieve in your life.
Change also happen when you think of someone as your Idol. You will never know that you are copying your Idol but you will. It is a very deep topic to talk about. I think all the changes happen through our mind, and our mind is controlled by many things in our environment. So better decide the environment in which you want to live. That is the way you can control your mind for yourself. That is the way to decide the changes which you want to look in you. Thank you and have a nice day ahead. :)
1 person likes this
@clarkent (18)
• Philippines
8 Dec 10
I agree with you all the way. If there's one thing we cannot avoid, that should be change. It's not right to change the way we are physically because that's what defines us. That's what makes us, "us". If we are to change the way we dress, the footwear preferences we have, etc., then we will be a different person.
@tod266 (85)
• Thailand
8 Dec 10
i am always try to change myself... because it good to me. i try to change myself with some things good if some people advised me. yeah ! i don't like to fight with other then i change to be better and better. i also want other change too but that is not easy.
1 person likes this
@zenkey23 (416)
• Philippines
8 Dec 10
I agree to your point of view:)
Because changing one`s attitude is good especially if you want to enhance your characteristics or personality.
But it is bad to change your personality just to have someone.
Because in the end you will notice that you are the one suffering because of PRETENDING:)
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
7 Dec 10
Been hearing this an awful lot that it's starting to sound like a broken record. Your point is the right point: we shouldn't change cuz someone wants us to. We should change cuz we want to.
