What do you say to the Bereaved?

@ptower76 (1619)
United States
December 28, 2010 4:52am CST
Losing someone close is always difficult. I have someone close that just lost their older sister. I know that there is really not much I can say that will make the person feel much better since it is a personal feeling that even if I have experienced a similar loss cannot really say I feel as the next person. So I choose to simply allow the person to mourn in their own way but it still hurts to see someone you love crying. Does anyone out there care to share on this?
2 people like this
5 responses
• Philippines
29 Dec 10
Sometimes, it is better not to say anything at all. Just be present. Hold their hand without saying a word. Allow them to mourn but help them get through it, the healthiest way possible. It does hurt to see someone cry but what can you do but cry with them? Just be there for that person that you love. In the end they will appreciate you more for it.
@ptower76 (1619)
• United States
29 Dec 10
I was thinking just that. Best if i just don't say anything at all and simply provide a shoulder to cry on. Thanks for the input
• Philippines
29 Dec 10
Sometimes words are not enough to express our deepest sympathy as to my personal experience what works best is to send them a card or sms if you can't go to where they are. If you can make a call then it will be better. Do give them time to grieve since some people do not like to talk with anybody for the time being. Most of them love to be hug or just be there with them. Finding another human being beside them gives them the comfort that life goes on.
@GardenGerty (96670)
• Marion, Kansas
29 Dec 10
It is important to tell them that you are sorry that they have to experience this loss. You also should acknowledge the emptiness that will be in their life. Say something like " I know you will miss her." If you are willing to honor that commitment you can also say something like, " I am here if you should need anything." or "You can always talk to me."
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
29 Dec 10
At times like these I try to show my comfort and support, What elae can you do when you lose a loved one? No words will bring them back, but sorrow eases the burden.
@louievill (18118)
• Philippines
28 Dec 10
It's tradition in my country that when you go to a wake, you say your condolences to who ever you are closest to the family, the bereaved asks you to have a sit, gives you juice or coffee and some biscuits, then you talk about the dear departed, fond memories etc.. depending on how close you are to them, then before leaving you sign your name on the guest book and hand over to the bereaved an envelope containing cash, this is of course voluntary, but if you are a person of a higher standing in society, you are expected to give more.