A friend in need is a friend indeed but what to do when the friend becomes weed!

Pakistan
January 6, 2011 9:11am CST
Hi mylotters i have been experiencing this problem for some time now. i have always helped my friends in whatever way i can and as such i have been thrown into situations where helping them becomes excessive as what i am being asked seems kind of excessive!! I have absolutely no idea how to get out of these quagmires. Has anyone of you been in such a situation? How did you react?
3 responses
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
6 Jan 11
Hi there, No I have never been in similar situation, but could tell you that as soon as you smell rotten fish you pull yourself out and let things take their own course. When the friend becomes a weed, better throw it. And we know when a friend could be a weed.
• Pakistan
6 Jan 11
i guess i am not a good gardener! i usually expect the weed to wilt away!!
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
6 Jan 11
• United States
6 Jan 11
I have been in this situation with friends and family. It is hard to tell them no and real hard to sit down and talk about your feelings. If they are a true friend and you approach them and talk about how you feel from the heart they will probably be upset but if a true friend will understand. If you do not want to talk to them about it then try and slowly work yourself out of all the commitments. Take one situation at a time and say I am sorry I wish I could help today but...
• Pakistan
6 Jan 11
Yes that seems a practical way of dealing with it but sometimes you wish they would simply figure it out for themselves and not put you through it!
6 Jan 11
Hi I found the same and it has been hard you must realise we do not make mant true friends i life,I can count mine on one hand.We all like to be able to help but some people do take advantage I have been their many times,you must be clear when you help for example,my friend was going through tough times she is a single mum of 3 kids,i learnt from past experiance and when she nedded help with kids I agreed to help by having one of them overnight once a week but for a few weeks only,this was ok but if I had said I will help with having the kids anytime it would have left me open to feel I had to have them,It is not what help you can give but how it is given that mainly causes the problems
• Pakistan
6 Jan 11
yes i suppose that is where the problem lies. I have this habit of assuming that the other person would know when the situation is getting a little out of hand! I mean the person is supposed to be my friend!