Parents versus lover

Philippines
January 18, 2011 12:11am CST
I have a friend whose parents are so strict that they regularly fetch their child in school although my friend is already a young adult. With their tight disciplinary measures, my friend secretly had a relationship with a certain guy. Later on, the parents learned about this. They commanded my friend to end her relationship with the guy. However, my friend loves her boyfriend so much that she cannot afford to let him go. If you were in that situation, what will you do? Who will you choose? Your parents or your lover?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@EdnaReyes (2628)
• Philippines
18 Jan 11
parents has reasons to be wary of their children relationship. Since your friend is still studying, her parents may be right in disciplining her. Some young people resent this and make things they could regret later. If your friend is in love with her boyfriend, tell her parents about it. Make them meet the boy and make assurance that she's behaving and would not do anything foolish. If the parents still insist on cutting her off from her boy, then ask the boy to wait for her. If he really loves her, I think there's no way he can't do this for her.
1 person likes this
@aprilsong (1886)
• China
18 Jan 11
Hi, EdnaReyes, i can't agree with you more. Most parents are strict with kids when it comes to relationship because they really love their kids and worry something bad happens to them in the future. We chinese have a saying which goes:don't listen to your parents' words, you will be taught a lesson very soon. Which means parents have far more experiences than kids. Although not all words of parents are right, but just remember parents are doing what they can for their kids. And as a kid, we should take their suggestions and advices very seriously.
@marguicha (99992)
• Chile
18 Jan 11
It all depends on the culture and on the age of your friend. What do you mean by "a young adult"? Is she in highschool or in college? I ask this because I donĀ“t think a minor can be called "a young adult" except in a very special case.
• United States
18 Jan 11
Very tough situation for both parent and child. I would like to say that I have suggestions but I do not. I guess it would be safe to say that I am looking for some solutions myself. My 13 yr is talking to a 16 year through text and trying to be NOT so strict I let it go. I didn't want to be that parent that says "no you can't see him anymore" ( like mine were ) So I figured they go to different schools and would never see each. I failed to realize the boy had a car until I could not get a hold of her on a sat. afternoon while visiting her grandparents for the weekend. My father let my daughter walk out of the house to go to the movies with her stepsisters ( that had come picked her up ) without ever seeing them actually get her. I lost it when my father was telling me all this. With NO ONE letting me know, visions began running through my head of my daughter getting in the car with 16 year old boy. As it turned out everything was fine. They had come picked her up to go see a movie but the aftermath of my temper didn't turn out so good. My 13 year accused me of not trusting her and my step daughters ( early 20's ) got a little upset because I told them they were to call me if they planned on picking her up, just so I would know where my daughter was at. It really opened my eyes and made me realize that I was not the cool calm and collected parent I wanted to be but then again, I think "How can a parent not be careful in today's society". I am also reminded of a phrase I heard somewhere " A parents first mistake is trusting a child 100% ", and I have seen more than enough of example with my sisters children. So, you can't blame a parent for being too concerned ...however in your case I would hope that I would at least give it a chance by meeting the boy ( if she is over 16 yrs old ) and see where it went from there.
• Philippines
18 Jan 11
If your friend is still very young, then I will have to follow my parents. They just give that kind of instructions because they want their children to be safe and happy. They love their children so much that they get too protective towards them. But if I am old enough and can support my own, then I would go with my boyfriend and still keep a good relationship with my parents. I would just have to pray that my parents would soon learn to accept the person I love.
@cathy1990 (221)
• Philippines
18 Jan 11
parents know what is the best for their children, you always think that they don't feel what you feel but FYI they do this because of their love into you.
@asliah (11148)
• Philippines
18 Jan 11
hi, You know the old saying! Momma's know best. You might want to stop and listen to what they have to say. He may have a bad boy rep. but treats you well. Your parents love you and care for you and really do know what's best for you. Think about it. They raised you.
@visavis (5945)
• Philippines
18 Jan 11
Actually my friend being a parents it is normal to remind our children such kind of situation thinking that may be not to finish or complete study but not say totally stopped such relationship. May be parents seen that relationship will be danger for her study, however the better thing is talk her parents and promise that she will complete or finish her study before going for that deeper relationship. see you around