Have anyone been going through like this?

China
January 30, 2011 6:18am CST
My life seems ok,have couples of friends to hang with out.Until some unfortunately things happened to me(something changed my personal and families life) After this i turned to be a very self closing person.It's about three years that i cut myself off from the outside and lost touch with all my friends.Now i don't wanna be like this anymore,but it looks so hard to take the first step.In these years while the other peoples keep moving forward,ijust stucked with despair.I want to stride over my weakness but the courage inside me is few.Please somebody help me.All your advice will be appreciated.
7 responses
@ptower76 (1619)
• United States
30 Jan 11
Whatever it was that caused you to isolate yourself must have been quite difficult since your isolation has been for so long. Expressing this desire to end your isolation is a good first step. I might try to reconnect with some of the old friends and at the same time put yourself in the position to make new friends. Concentrate on enhancing your strenghts to build your confidence. People are drawn to confident people. And in those times when you feel so alone, talk to your higher power, it will help you spiritually.
• China
30 Jan 11
Thanks for your advice ptower.I've been try to find my strength in god but it seemed doesn't work.After timeless be rebuffed i just begin to doubt my belief.You are right,lack of strength is a big problem.Some times i just don't even have the courage to look into the mirror.
@ptower76 (1619)
• United States
30 Jan 11
Bring yourself to look into that mirror and determine if there is a change you can do to make the image better. Like a hair cut, or shave, or something concerning personal grooming. It always helps to see ourselves looking good.
• China
30 Jan 11
Maybe change my appearance could be the first step.Inner confidence can increase from a better outfit.
@moirai (1727)
• Philippines
30 Jan 11
It is understandable to be afraid, but I think you should take the next step. You can start by trying to get in touch with your old friends again. Call them, send a text message, or send an e-mail to say hello. Ask if you can meet up and catch up. Now, if in case, they are busy and can not, at first, meet up with you again, don't despair. Just keep the communications open, and I'm sure one day, they will find some free time and you can have a sort of reunion then. Another thing you can do is start going out more. You can do it little by little. Say hello to your neighbors, ask how they are. Start with some small talk, get to know them, and maybe eventually, you'll find some good friends in your neighborhood. You can do this! I wish you the best. =)
• China
30 Jan 11
Thanks dear moirai,your words are really heart warm.Today i just send one of them a text message and still don't get respond.My heart beats severely when i sending the message.
@moirai (1727)
• Philippines
30 Jan 11
Don't lose hope if you don't get a response right away. There may be reasons why they are not able to. You can also try other means, such as calling them on landline, or sending them an e-mail, or even mail through the post office, or visiting them. Also don't limit yourself to one person because the first person you try to reach might not be able to respond, but the second will, or the third, or the fourth,... =)
• China
31 Jan 11
I will try that,hope it will work right.Thanks again.
@zeciram (161)
• Philippines
31 Jan 11
Hi breathofja! I can't imagine the hurt that you felt or is feeling right now but I can share the time of my life when I hurt the most. It was because of a friend's betrayal. I was trapped within myself. I was focused on the heartbreak. It took some years to overcome the burden that the experience caused. I also got tired of the negative feeling that it caused. I was such a grouch then. What helped me overcome the hurt is acceptance. Acceptance that I cannot control how other people would act towards another. Acceptance that I am the only one who can make or break me. As I have learned in one seminar that I attended, everything you do or become is DOY. DOY means Depends On You. Hope this helps. Be happy always.
• China
31 Jan 11
Everyone have theirs own bad expenses.A friend's betray must harmful and glad to know that you have over it.I will try to find the potential inside me,live a brand new days
@skysuccess (8882)
• Singapore
30 Jan 11
breathofja, Since your unfortunate incident(s), you mentioned that you've cut off your friends. But what about your family members? And, what have you been doing for the past 3 years? Maybe if you would sit down and ponder what I've asked, you would probably have the answers to your question. Sometimes, you just need to sit down and recollect yourself. You cannot just keep on walking without stopping to check your directions and most of all your destination. Take care and have a nice day.
• China
31 Jan 11
Thanks for your reminder skyscusess.All this years i was focusing my attention to my own sadness while ignored my families.Maybe it's time to grow up.My reinvigoration will relieve my families.
• United States
31 Jan 11
yeah, I personally feel comfortable and just enjoy being alone. maybe take baby steps to get back a social life if thats what you enjoy. Go out every now and then and if your more comfortable getting closer to people and becoming stronger friends then you can take those steps towards that.
• United States
31 Jan 11
tell yourself to do good and have fun sometimes
• Nigeria
30 Jan 11
In life people would come into your life and people would leave but God remain with you.20 friends cannot play together for twenty years. You just have to pave your own part, refuse to dwell in the past, picture what you want your life to be and work it out.Have the courage, have the will, because where there is a will there would always be a way, you shouldn't live the way your friends are living if you know that it would not favor your kind of live. Move on, you will meet with people who would appreciate you. What i want to say is that refuse to live in the past just live your dreamss. cheer!