Work

United States
February 17, 2011 10:02pm CST
I work with a woman who seems to have no compassion at all. She is my supervisor which makes everything harder. She is the person in the office that seems to enjoy other's pain. She will say nasty, hurtful,reputation damaging things that are untrue and build the story with lies. She pits the employees against each other and when we end up arguing she feeds the fire from both sides. I don't understand this behavior from an authority figure in the workplace. I have talked to the office manager but they seem to condone this behavior. Everyone has the same complaint but the "powers that be" don't seem to want to make the necessary changes. Allowing this woman to continue seems detrimental to the business. Why does she allow this? Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to address this further to possibly induce change?
2 people like this
8 responses
@SIMPLYD (73817)
• Philippines
18 Feb 11
I guess, change in that scenario on your office is so far away. Your supervisor obviously has a strong clout over everyone You have even talked to your office manager but nothing changed. So, obviously everyone is afraid to move against her.
• United States
18 Feb 11
I've wondered the same thing. What does this woman have on them that they aren't willing to do anything? I sometimes think they just don't want to go through replacing her and training someone new. Laziness on the part of the office manager.
@SIMPLYD (73817)
• Philippines
18 Feb 11
Maybe she is so indispensable that she it's so hard to replace her. Maybe she knows almost all aspects of the job, that replacing her would jeopardize the company as a whole. Or maybe the office manager is afraid because she is a very close relative of the owner or one of the owners herself ?
• United States
18 Feb 11
I think you possibly work with the woman that I resigned from a job because of. And I had 20 years invested in that job. If the "powers that be" will not do anything about this woman's behavior, you may have no recourse but to seek employment elsewhere. If this woman is in a supervisory role she obviously has some sort of senority within the company. If this is really not an option for you, (seeking other employment) and in today's market of unemployment it might NOT be an option, the only other alternative may be to buddy up with this woman and find out what's wrong with her. It may be that she has things going on in her life that it would be nice to have a buddy to talk to about them. Not even saying that will work because it didn't work in my case either, but I did give the buddy thing a try. Some people are just bitter individuals and they "power up" on other's dismay. If they aren't starting something in the work place they're starting it up within their own family. Sometimes these people feel some sort of self gratification by stirring up turmoil.
• United States
18 Feb 11
I agree with everything you've said. I've come to the conclusion that you just can't make some people happy. I believe her home life is so miserable she gets her joy from seeing other people just as miserable. I have tried to buddy with her just as you said, but it never lasts for long. I can't get onboard and gossip and talk about the other ladies in the office the way she wants. We are a very small office and close knit for the most part. I care for the people I work with and I'm just not willing to be a part of the back biting and lies. I guess I make it harder on myself by openly saying, I'm not going to have this discussion which in turn puts the target on me. I'm still hoping things will be handled by the office manager for better of the office. I'm always the first one to say if you don't like the way things are find another job. That is so easy to say yet so hard to do. Especially when you have so much time invested.
• United States
18 Feb 11
Yep! I think we KNOW the same woman...lol. I NEVER wanted to leave where I was working, but this woman made my life a living nightmare! I tried to "swallow my pride" and asked her out on several occasions for lunch and she would accept, but then the day of the lunch "date" she would turn me down and run me down to everyone that would listen to her. As far as senority went I had the senority, but she kissed up to the bosses to where they turned a blind eye to the evil little being that she really was. I felt that most of her anger and resentment was directed at me, but was helpless to have anything done about it. In fact she told so many point blank lies to the big boss that I was constantly called on the carpet and pretty much told that if things didn't stop they would have to let me go. There was a huge blow up one morning and I picked up my keys, told her that if she wanted my job THAT bad then she could have it, I was done with her tirades! I left the building and came home and my boss would only accept a resignation on my part. This woman was constantly in tears because this or that was going on in her home life....but most of it SHE started! Her oldest son and his wife FORBADE her to be around their child because of the way she is. It was just ALWAYS something with her. So....I feel what you're going through. It's not easy to bite your tongue and go on especially when you'd really like something to be done about the situation and nothing ever gets done.
@sublime03 (1811)
• Philippines
19 Feb 11
It is difficult when the 'powers that be' likes your supervisor. No matter how hard you try to complain about her they will not do anything because generally they like her. I have seen that many times in companies and the only way to get past through that is to leave. You can never win over the 'powers that be' from your supervisor because she is more important business wise to them.
• United States
19 Feb 11
Sometimes, I wonder if they are trying to make the employee's fight for position by causing conflict to see if they can handle it. Or if they do the things they are blaming others for and passing the blame so they are not noticed. I just used to wonder that because there really is no reason for that kind of behavior...
@lilaclady (28270)
• Australia
18 Feb 11
years ago I worked with a supervisor just like that and she was so bad I ended up calling in the union, she was the type of person who seemed to harrass young people, was very hard on male workers and just seemed to do all to cause trouble..a sad soul... I went into the meeting with everything I knew she had done and in the end the big boss asked us to leave and we could hear him yelling at her... she ended up leaving...got to feel sorry for people like that.
• United States
18 Feb 11
I work in a doctors' office and there are only 7 of us. We've all at some time or another complained about this lady, the doctors and the office manager say the same thing so I'm really confused as to why this is still happening. Such a damaging situation on so many levels. I'm glad it worked out for you and am still holding onto hope that something good will come of this.
@VisonTech (258)
• United States
19 Feb 11
It sounds detrimental to the company! I don't see how if she's busy talking about people then how is her job getting done, secondly how is damaging someone else going to help the job go smoothly. And the last I heard smooth was profitable and efficient. I have worked with another coworker who did this but when the boss caught wind the kid was fired. If someone starts to talk gossip behind someone else's back in front me I usually just respond with something like "Well if its bothering you that much, then you should go talk it over with them". Meanwhile I put my attention to whatever I'm doing and keep working.
@cream97 (29175)
• United States
19 Feb 11
Hi. pmccarthy1. Welcome to myLot!! I know how you feel. Supervisors can be something else. Do you have a unit manager? I had an issue with a supervisor in 2003. He was very nasty when he talked to people. Especially to me. He jumps time too much! I had to complain to my unit manager about him. We had a meeting with him and me in it. I told my unit manager how he treated me unfairly and how he made me feel so bad. After the meeting, I ended up quitting eventually. And get this: Every year, if I call into this factory for employment, the human resources will tell me that I am ineligible for rehire. Okay, it is going on 7 years now. And if I call right now, they will tell me this. They have no information about why and how this was set. I know for a fact that my supervisor had something to do with me never coming back to this job. My advice to you, is to don't worry about your supervisor. She is just being mean so that she can push you to the limits. There is always a head leader that is over her. You may need to ask her supervisor if you can move to another department without quitting. I wished that I had to take this choice back in 2003. That is one of the reasons why I don't work outside of the home. It is because of nasty supervisors like what you are dealing with now.
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
18 Feb 11
For me it is a kind of want to impressed the manager they all want that get attention with so be sad.
@katie0 (5212)
• Japan
18 Feb 11
I am so sorry, there are people who have no heart. Try to do your job and if its too much, sue her, she has not the right to threat you like s.... some coward bosses just go off limits, they dont own us, they have not the right to threat us this way