dealing with life long disease....

@ksmita (481)
India
February 18, 2011 7:18am CST
Hello. My mother is diagnosed with end stage renal disease. till now she was managing with medicines but now she is comletely dependent on dialysis. I take my mother for dialysis three times a week. everytime i go to hospital with her, it makes me depress. I am still not able to accept that it is life long process. I know it will be getting worse and worse. All this is affecting me mentally. I can't see my mother going through so much pain and I don't understand how will i take care of her. How to comfort a person who is dealing with life long disease? Please give me some suggestions.
11 responses
@GADHISUNU (2164)
• India
18 Feb 11
Just give Tender Loving Care(TLC). The very fact that you are sincerely sharing her pain is sufficient for your mother to be immensely satisfied. That is what a mother or for that matter a father is all about. Put your best foot forward to be a companion to her,by say not losing your cool or poise. If possible do not cry in front of her though you would breakdown. I can understand the pain. If you believe in God, and your mother also believes in God, you could relate to God together in prayers. If you don't believe or too sore with God for what you feel are not your desserts, you must look for other diversions like reading aloud if that is interesting. Discuss, speak about or if possible involve your mom in activities that se wouljust irresistibly love to do! The satisfaction that comes out of an activity of our greatest interest and involvement, is something that could offset all pains.
1 person likes this
@ksmita (481)
• India
18 Feb 11
Hello. I do belive love and care can sure comfort her, but i wish i could be with her all the time. its very difficult for me to control my tears but I will definetly try to keep cool and share the activities so that i can divert my mind as well hers. take care.
• United States
18 Feb 11
Sorry to hear about your mother's illness. Has she spoken to her doctor about the pain, so they can increase her pain medication. I have a lady friend who went through this for a very long time. She is very young and a friend of her's donated a kidney just recently. Please try and be strong for your mother, as she will need your strength in order to continue. I can understand that you are feeling depressed over the situation but what you have to do is be her strong front. Please try and get plenty of rest yourself and pray for her. Contact her doctor and ask what you can do to help her through this, as it is too hard for you to deal with this alone. Are there other family members that can also help? I would say go ahead in privacy and scream, cry and let it all out. As when you are with your mother you want to comfort her and feeling depresses and or crying in front of her will cause her depression as well. My prayers will go out for your mother, and you as I do hope she will be able to rest comfortably.
1 person likes this
@ksmita (481)
• India
18 Feb 11
hello. thanks for the reply. I know i have to be strong as well as make her strong. sure, I will speak to doctors and find out as much as i can. I am sure prayers will make us strong to face the situation. take care.
@globaldoc (860)
• Philippines
19 Feb 11
I think it is just a matter of attitude. It is true that it takes sacrifice. However, God is always watching, and He knows what you are going through. Just have faith.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (75375)
• Philippines
19 Feb 11
All you can do is give her all your support and love. Always put on a happy face whenever you are with her, so she will feel lighter. Tell her funny stories. Just make her laugh so it will lighten the pain and discomfort she may be feeling. Be patient with her at all times.
1 person likes this
@cher913 (25895)
• Canada
19 Feb 11
sorry to hear about that. i have fibromyalgia, you can't die of it but it sure makes you miserable.
1 person likes this
@dreamnishu (1253)
• China
18 Feb 11
hello friend! feeling so sad to know about your mother.i love my mother so much when i know bout any mother is sick i feel so helpless.why ALLAH do this with us.i never think a day without my ma.you should take care of her and of-course make her happy.you can stay with her as long as you can.never leave her alone.you also go with her fro checkup. may ALLAH bless her.
1 person likes this
@Cherish14 (2695)
• Philippines
18 Feb 11
hi there. im sorry to hear that. i feel sad now after reading this because i cant imagine my mom going through all this. she had pneumonia 2 years ago and i felt very bad because i could be there to be with her and take care of her. she got cured and now she complains of so many things like she has some difficulty of breathing sometimes, unusual pain in her lower back,and feeling of like passing out like a problem in her equilibrium/balance. i know its hard looking at them suffering but all we can do is to be more supportive and understanding to them. i have learned that when a person is having discomfort or in pain, they tend to have attitude, so we have to be more understanding and just make them feel loved and not alone. make her feel special and that no matter what you are there for her because you love her. sigh* i feel so sad now, i miss my mom, i can be there with her, im away from her right now :(
@monty21 (120)
• India
18 Feb 11
I felt bad to know about how and your mother is going through this trauma. When i was through it, i had gone back to my old bad memories. My father was suffering from cancer and we had to go to hospital twice in the month. Only i know how i and my family endured that situation. So i can understand your felling as you mother was suffering from a life long disease. It is really tough for everyone to handle all these things. You are so brave that you are enduring these things. It is very easy to give sympathy to anybody. Who has problem only that person can understand. So don't think of these things, just pray and do your duty. And i will pray to god for you and your mother.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Feb 11
Whatever disease is that, why not try the supplement (not a medicine but looks like medicine), here in our country there's a lot of supplement capsule, it is said that it will cure almost of all the diseases. You can search in the internet all supplement capsule. The problem of your mother is also your problem, means you love your mother so much, that's the way should be. A dialysis for three times a week means a lot money to spend and a lot of stress in your part. Please think of second opinion, as per your observed, it getting worse everyday. Second opinion for me is taking a supplement capsule,there is no side effect unlike medicines. I still believe in miracle, don't be hopeless, God will guide your mom and you and the rest of the family. Be patient.
@ada8may21 (2419)
• Philippines
18 Feb 11
I am sorry to hear that, it must really difficult to see our love ones suffering from pain. If we could just ask for the pain and give it to us, we could have done that. I guess the only thing that you need to comfort her is to pray always to our Almighty God that she will be strong enough to take the pain.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Feb 11
So I will tell you a little about my life with my mother. When I was 20 my mom was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis(MS) at the age of 46. She had lost eye sight in one eye at that time. So the doctors did eye exams and then did an MRI on her brain. I went with her for all of this. When the doctor told her she had MS we had no clue what it was. He told us it was life long with no cure at that time. The doctors say they don't know much about MS and they are always trying to find out more about it. So we headed home and broke down crying our eyes out. After a day I had to do something, I researched like crazy on her disease. This way I was a little more in-tune with what was going on and what she may go through now in her life. I was so sad what I found out, the worst was she could be in a wheelchair in 20 or less years. So I stood up and tried to be there for her as much as I could. I have gone to almost every doctors appointment she has had. Times have been rough for us but you have to push through everyday. At this time I'm 24 and my mom is losing her leg use. She had to stop working and stay home, which is mentally killing her. Now on top of her condition I found out a couple months ago that I have fibromyalgia. Now I don't work either. What I would do if I was you is do research on her disease. You may have already but look at every aspect of it. Like what the long term effect will be, are there medicines that will help her function better and try looking at natural medicines, is there anything to help her cope with what's going on with her body,etc. Other things that I do when I go to doctor appointments with my mother is ask as many questions I can. Have them explain in more detail about what may be going on different with your mother or ask them about different medications that may suit her better. The other thing I have been doing with my mom is sitting down with her and talking. Talk about anything. Sometime we talk about what's bother her, what's hurting, what it feels like etc. Write some of it in a journal so if you see changes you can bring it up to her doctor at treatment time. After you talk with your mother about how she's feeling talk about happier times or trying to go out and do things together. Sometimes when you talk about others things than what she is going trough it takes her mind off of hurting. I guess the last thing is try to learn as much as you can from doctors, researching, and from what your mother going through. This way you may be able to help her cope with her disease better. Never give up! It may be easy but we need to be there for them through everything. Remember to take time for just yourself, a breather to get away for a half or whole day will help you de-stress yourself. I hope this helps some. If you need to I'd be glad to talk anytime. Sometimes talking with others will help get things off your chest and let you give better care for your mom. I wish you luck and hope things go well with you both.
@ksmita (481)
• India
18 Feb 11
hi. i know it is very difficult for parents as well as children to know that their loved ones are suffering from life long disease. I am sorry to know about your personal experience. Yes, like you even we have tried to find about the disease and the processes related to it. keeping a journal will sure be a good idea as to know what changes she is going through. Its very strange during such time we realise the importance of spending time together. i know i have to find out the ways to keep her mentally strong and i will spend more. this was really helpful. thanks for sharing your kindness. i will sure talk to you. take care.