Boys being boys or Serious problem

@emarie (5454)
United States
March 5, 2011 11:03pm CST
Now this isn't about my own children, but someone elses' child who is currently living with us. She's a newly single mom and apparently her parenting skills were along the lines of "let them do whatever they damn want" I run a pretty strict household. No running, screaming, limit whining, no TV during the week and so on. So she's surprised on the fact that my kids listen to me when her kids...well, don't. Her children have also grown up in an abusive home, so they think it's 'okay' to hit mommy. but they don't like other people yelling at mommy. So that's a little bit of background on this woman's kids. Now, my kids are older, but of course I'm pretty protective of them. I'm getting slightly scared for my kids because of her own kids. Her eldest son 'may' have slight autism. It might be genetic because her niece and nephew BOTH have autism. She, herself, doesn't understand complicated things and easily forgets things she did yesterday and she can't problem solve on her own. We don't know, but we feel she had a learning disability as well but found a way to 'function' in society. This kind of started the other day. Her son has a morbid sense of humor. We have a neighbor who has 3 cats who like to sit on their window. My son LOVES cats so he likes to watch them. Well, he son saw this and started (while laughing) saying he wants to eat the kitties. Okay, I let this one slide. In some places they do eat cats. So a few days later, my son and him are saying how much my son wants a cat for a pet. And her son smiles and said, "I want a kitty too, I wanna break it's legs" then starts laughing while motioning breaking something small with his hands. Okay...now I'm a little scared. We old found out that because he was mad at his little brother, he bashed his 2 year old brothers head into a wall. So hard, that 2 months later there is STILL a giant bruise on his brothers head. She didn't think anything of it and didn't even seek medical help for her youngest son. So my question is... Am I just being paranoid about this woman's kid with him just being a boy and saying things he doesn't mean. Like when he laughs and thinks it's funny to kill someone on a video game. Should I classify it as Boy's being Boys or is there some other serious problem I should look out for?
1 response
• India
7 Mar 11
How old is this ‘oldest’ son? My son is 11 and he may kill the entire army in a video game but he cant even hurt a hair on a dog or cat or bird…or whatever animal catches his fancy. I think most normal kids are like that…the most violent kids might go maybe is to catch a mosquito and tear its wings… its so tiny that you don’t even get to see what happens to it (sorry if this sounds gross, but this was one of my favourite games in childhood, hence this defence)… but to think of mauling such beautiful kittens is certainly not normal. I’m sure you cant be of any help to either this lady or her son (none of them will listen to you), so the faster they leave your house, the better for you and your kids. Also, kids are very impressionable, so you never know when you son might start thinking of violence against animals as ‘heroic’…so its best to keep distance from them.
@emarie (5454)
• United States
8 Mar 11
i'm trying to remind my son that. Her son is 6, but speaks like a 3 year old. He seems developmentally slow which I'm not sure if it's environmental because she didn't try to enrich his life and kind just let him stare in front of the TV his whole life or if it's actually something wrong with his head. My son is now 9, and I'm praying that he knows that violence against animals is wrong. He was actually very disturbed from the comment. My youngest, who is 7, was also a little freaked out. All she told her son was "I don't know where you learned that from but that's not nice" and that was the end of that conversation. I constantly tell my kids to stay away from them. For their own safety. But she told her kids when they first came here to 'stay close' to my kids because she felt they were good influences on hers because they listened to me. They just found it irritating and we kept teller her that, now they constantly want to be near my kids and she has to tell them 'no'. I will try to keep my kids in check and let them know that her kids are NOT people you should be associated with. I even think their mother is a bad influence on my kids because I just don't like her attitude towards things and I don't need that in my kids life at all.