Custody of child – father or mother is better.

@SHAMRACK (8384)
India
March 18, 2011 12:42am CST
Divorces are increasing day by day here. But the real suffers are those children. But mostly the child’s custody is attained by mother as long there are no solid proofs that show the mother is not fit. But I feel as there is social changes are coming up both father and mother do have bad qualities. But for the betterment of child, need affection, caring and companionship from both father and mother. It is seen that in majority of custody cases, about 90% of women get their child custody. Mostly fathers are provided only visitor right (occasional visit to see their child) and also to pay the amount for maintenance of child. More and more crimes are also increasing in connection with family issues that finally leave their child without parents.
3 people like this
18 responses
@surekharathi (14134)
• India
18 Mar 11
Yes this is absolutely right Divorce effects on directly their child but if the question is child custody then it should be mother's favor because generally in most of the cases we have seen husband get second marriage and step mother cannot care of other child.
1 person likes this
@SHAMRACK (8384)
• India
18 Mar 11
Do know Anil Kumble had married the wife of another person.His wife has a daughter in first marriage is living with them. Now the original father is fighting for his daughter who is living with her mother who had married to another man. There are women who also get second marriages nowadays.
• India
18 Mar 11
Ye you are right but this is exceptional case mother can handle their child better if mother is not good then the hostel is best way for that child
1 person likes this
@SHAMRACK (8384)
• India
18 Mar 11
Especially mothers are really wanted for female child. But emotionally father is wanted for a female child. I hope the law is bit strict in providing caring from both.
• Philippines
18 Mar 11
Also here in the Philippines, most of the time, the mother is the one who prefer by the law as long as the mother is capable of feeding the child descently and she has the money to bring the child in school. For me, it's better to give the child to the mother, she knows what's the best for her child. Same here, mostly the father is only for visitacion. Another one is, come the 18th birthday of the kid, he or she should ask by the court if really want to stay with her mother? So the father have the chance also to be his child.
@SHAMRACK (8384)
• India
18 Mar 11
In that case I feel child will opt for her mother who brought upto those years.
@staria (2782)
• Philippines
18 Mar 11
I am not sure if this applies to all, but here in PH. The child goes to the mom if he is 7yrs old and below, provided that yes the mom is fit, can provide for the kids and there's no issues on her part. It really depends, sometimes mom's arent fit and does not deserve to gain custody of the child. My father and mom nearly separated and I vouched for my father. Good thing it didnt push thru.
1 person likes this
@SHAMRACK (8384)
• India
18 Mar 11
I am sure your decision is right.
• United States
18 Mar 11
It is so hard to say who would be best these days. Use to be we would say the mother because society has labeled the mother to be the better parent. But what it boils down to is that men can be nurturing and caring too. Just as much as a mother perhaps would not be so great. It would certainly be ideal that the parents although divorce can come to a mutual understanding the for the sake of the child. Whichever is the best parent to have at least during the week because of school location stability and with the other on weekends. Then perhaps they can divide the summer time with the parent who did not get the most during the school year. Life would be sweet if divorce did not exist and or lack of better words bad parent. But unfortunately it happens and ultimately the child is affected.
@SHAMRACK (8384)
• India
18 Mar 11
May be it is intolerable I feel it is better to get divorce at the earliest before it become worse ultimately leading to crimes.
@SIMPLYD (79764)
• Philippines
18 Mar 11
Yes, the custody of the child is mostly for the mother , if proven that she is fit. Truly, a woman knows more on how to care for the children, in addition to her ability of providing for their needs in her own way. A man generally, would most likely be a good provider but they are not that used to raising up their children. But i wish there will be lesser separations of parents so that the children will not feel alienated with their parents.
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (32885)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
18 Mar 11
It's difficult to say exactly who is better, the father or the mother. In each case, I'm sure that it's different. In some cases, it's the mother who may be in a better position, while in others, it may be the father. It does depend on the individual cases, if you ask me. I think that, at times, when couples divorce, it seems that they do forget what is best for their child, or their children. It seems that they don't always take them into consideration, which is completely wrong, in my opinion. When children are involved in a divorce, couples should try and come together to discuss what is best for the children.
@SHAMRACK (8384)
• India
12 Apr 11
In each case it different that is really to found out the best solution in differentiating it well. I hope so.
@mermaidivy (15417)
• United States
18 Mar 11
I don't think there is any better if the child get kept by only one of them because children need both father and mother... it is very sad that if they can't have neither of them...
@SHAMRACK (8384)
• India
12 Apr 11
yes child needs both of them, may be let the child be with the better side long, on the other side to better it.
@anna18 (142)
• Philippines
18 Mar 11
in the philippines, all children under 7 will be awarded to the mother. The philippine government respect the women in terms of the care of children.
@SHAMRACK (8384)
• India
18 Mar 11
At time child needs father companionship too.
@Sreekala (22957)
• India
18 Mar 11
Hello Sham, I think Indians are showing concern over kids and try to compromise upto certain extent. In divorce cases, keeping the kid with whom, is depends on the age of the child. If it is too small and required the mother’s care then the mother is the right person to keep the child. In other case, the child can decide where to stay, provided the child is able to express his wish clearly. I think the Court is looking on the capability of mother too, if the mother is jobless then they suggest to the father to take care of the kid. In any case, separating the mother and father is not all appreciated, it really matter for their innocent mind. They really need the love from both.
@SHAMRACK (8384)
• India
18 Mar 11
Those innocent mind is really confused at times I feel so.
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
18 Mar 11
hello sham, That depends on the situation. Mostly the mother has the right to keep the kids till the kids reaches the right age to decide whom to lived with. I understand that in this scenario,kids suffers the most. But,it is better for the kids too rather than living in a home without peace either. have a great weekend ahead
@SHAMRACK (8384)
• India
18 Mar 11
I feel peace is what everyone need in life, the most it is got the most it is liked.
@SIMPLYD (79764)
• Philippines
18 Mar 11
Yes, the custody of the child is mostly for the mother , if proven that she is fit. Truly, a woman knows more on how to care for the children, in addition to her ability of providing for their needs in her own way. A man generally, would most likely be a good provider but they are not that used to raising up their children. But i wish there will be lesser separations of parents so that the children will not feel alienated with their parents.
@SHAMRACK (8384)
• India
18 Mar 11
But at times I read news here women who sell their child. I feel it depends upon an individual as there it is seen that there men who are better than women and also women who are better than men. I feel it depends upon an individual quality to care a child well more than gender.
1 person likes this
• Canada
18 Mar 11
I don't think it should be decided by gender, I think it should be decided individually, based on the situation. I think that judges and professionals need to professionally ascess each individual situation, and decide which parent is better that way. Some fathers are better, some mothers are better, some kids have two great parents, and some poor kids don't have a good parent at all.
@SHAMRACK (8384)
• India
18 Mar 11
I too agree with you, the character of individuals changes accordingly the custody do matter to better one.
• China
14 Apr 11
Go without saying,if man and wife don't get divorce,it couldn't be better!because parents'divorce casts a shadow over the happiness of the children,It is bad for child's growth,what is more,the child may write himself or herself off as hopeless and act racklessly.If we have to make a choice between father and mother which is better as to the custody of child,I want to choose mother rather than father.The mother is more careful than father in terms of looking after children.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
19 Mar 11
I think that it has been customary for a long time that children are awarded to the mothers. I don;t think that this is the right choice all the time. There are children that could have better benefited by being with their fathers. It has slowly become changed here and more fathers are being awarded custody. I think it is important to think out throughly the visitation plan in either instance. Children need a sense of both their parents.
@noorhizat (209)
• Malaysia
19 Mar 11
I don't agree with divorce. Say what you will A divorce is the very last thing that should happen. But it still happen. So what will you say when it happen to you as a parent. You will say you have the right to be the one to have custody. I the law of almost every country priority goes to the mother. if you are the father you will say it is not fair. You will try your level best to proof to the law that the x's is not capable to take care of the children. A lot of dirt from under the rug will comes flying out. This will be worst for the children. It is better to thing of the effect to the children, not to your ego to your right of saying that you love them more. You are able to give them better support monetary wise....... As I point out earlier, The children are the most important party in situation like this. No matter who gets the custody right, they must be in the winning side. let go of your differences and your bickering. You know them more than they know them self, you know each other at least . Do the right thing
@djbtol (5498)
• United States
19 Mar 11
No longer do I think you can just assume the mother will be the better parent. If a woman still has her heart set on a career, the child will eventually pay for that. On the other hand, some father's have been the career route already, and now coming through a divorce, they want nothing more than to care for their child. Divorce is complicated and so are the decisions following it. Very hard to protect the child through these kinds of storms.
• Philippines
19 Mar 11
I do not favour divorce and a broken family but that is not the case in reality. Many families are broken and the children are the most affected. Well for me it depends, the children if they are more than 7 years old they can choose wherever they want but for those 7 and below, they are still young and they should be at their mother. However, if there are some just reasons that the mother is incapable , they must be taken in the custody of the father. Let us think of what is the best for the children and not for the interest of the parent because its for the children's future.
@n4l3hp (21)
• Philippines
18 Mar 11
Children is best with their mothers. Of course there are good fathers and bad mothers, but children will always look for their mothers especially if they need comforting. I'm a father of 2 boys myself, even if I'm close with my sons, most of the time they always prefer their mother company than mine. Their mother is strict with them and I on the other hand dote on them, but that doesn't matter to them. If its a broken family, the child should stay with the mother while they're very young and maybe choose to live with the father in the teens if the father maintain a good relationship with the child.