Husband ask wife if he could cheat

@pjnjclyn (177)
Newton, New Jersey
April 5, 2011 7:43pm CST
There is someone that I know and we where talking the other night and he was telling my husband and I that he asked his wife if he could have a girlfriend. He already had someone in mind and told his wife who she was. I am open to new things and do not find myself a prude but come on is it me would you ask your mate if you could cheat on them or not. As for me if you ask me if you could cheat I would tell you no ther is no reason to cheat go and be with her and be happy and I am gone.
4 people like this
20 responses
@sashakiddo (1104)
• United States
6 Apr 11
If a person asks his partner for permission to cheat, it could mean that he really loves her and genuinely wants to keep things working between them. What is marriage anyway? I heard that there are some species of animals that are sexually permiscuous but remain monogamous when it comes to spending time with a specific partner. It reminds me of the relationship between the celebrities Will Smith and Jada Smith. They apparently have a relationship where they are happy with discussing their desires - so Will can talk to Jada about his interests in another woman, and Jada can do the same. It seems that this is how they are still together after Will was seen being affectionate with Charlize Theron. There were photos of them spending time together and smooching. Who knows what kind of consequence this has for Will and Jada- maybe they didn't even love each other in the first place. But if Will didn't love Jada, why would he stay with her even after his fling with Charlize? Maybe it's only for their kids? Maybe they have a bond that no one can break?
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
6 Apr 11
Hi. sashakiddo. I don't mean to jump in your comment here... I had idea that this was going on between Will and Jada. If anything, I thought that Will and Rosario D. would hook up together. They flirted nonstop together. It was very obvious of their attraction for each other, besides on the movie scene. They already seem like one match that is made in heaven. If this is true, it is very sad. I want to be with a man that loves and adores only me. I would be very upset if my husband talked about other women when he was around me. He and I have no business doing anything like this to each other. Marriage is about mutuality and not about infidelity.
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
6 Apr 11
I meant that I had no idea of the attraction between Will and Charlize.
@keshia2007r (2886)
• United States
6 Apr 11
I absolutely had to respond to this discussion! There is no way possible I would tell my boyfriend or if i was married my husband that he could cheat. This isn't the the best of both worlds tour, you can not have your cake and eat it too! Especially with me! It no way, and I agree with your last statement, I also would say go and be with her, there is clearly no need for me, so don't let me be in your way. I'm just curious on how the wife of this guy responded. Have any details?
@pjnjclyn (177)
• Newton, New Jersey
6 Apr 11
She told him if that was what he wanted then he could do it. He would bring the woman home as well. He is not with the girlfriend anymore but he is still with his wife. A little bit of justice is that the girlfriend took him for all he had and when the money was gone so was the girlfriend
• United States
6 Apr 11
Wow, so his girlfriend took everything she needed got rid of him and he went back to his wife after all of that. I would not have let me come back to me. The wife just seems like a rebound for the husband loosing his girlfriend. None of this is healthy!
@pjnjclyn (177)
• Newton, New Jersey
6 Apr 11
No it is not healthy for anyone my husband even says how wrong he is treating this woman. Something has to give I really feel that she thinks that she has no way out she is older and has many health problems and he is the one that basically keeps things running. Even though her age and health there is things that can be done without him like an aide and they would probaly treat her with more respect.
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
6 Apr 11
I don't know other people but I would say OK you can have a gf if I can have a bf I can't force him to stay in commitment if he wants someone else but at least I can have what is fair to my opinion if he can have fun, well I want to have fun too lol
@pjnjclyn (177)
• Newton, New Jersey
6 Apr 11
That is a good one but you know how men are they want to be able to do what they want but when we want to do the same thing we as women are soooooooo wrong
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
9 Apr 11
true
@whengcat (1458)
• Philippines
6 Apr 11
If my husband ever ask me this question, I will slap him so hard in the face or kick his.....I think obviously, he'll figure out what my answer is, or asking him back a question like "Can I have a boyfriend too?" will also do. lol!
• United States
6 Apr 11
LOL whengcat, that is a good answer!
@whengcat (1458)
• Philippines
6 Apr 11
lol! but seriously, that's what I'll really do, give him the dose of his own medicine. I mean, hey what the heck, I've devoted my life and time for him and then just like that?..definitely not right.
• United States
6 Apr 11
I think this world is going crazy and so are the people in it. I have to give him credit for not cheating and getting caught. But I would tell him he could be free to be with her. I would give him his walking papers and move on in life. That could be the best thing he could do for her. She may just find mr. right and be very happy. So he is not all that bad in my book.
@pjnjclyn (177)
• Newton, New Jersey
6 Apr 11
He has taken it way to far there has to be boundries somewhere he has even brought the woman home to their house. I agree with you so many things are going nuts. People do not believe in sticking things out anymore. Marriage is not a fairy tale it takes work and there are going to be days when you want to pull all of your hair out but the next day you are stil there.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Apr 11
If he went as far as to even ask I would take it as a sign from god and leave his az flat. He brought her home too. That would never sit right with me. I would take my fredom right then and there. marriage is not like it was many years ago. people are not in it for the right reasons. When I get married again it will be forever.
• United States
6 Apr 11
Wow seriously this is crazy but I guess she can say he respected her enough to have asked. But I am with you my boyfriend best not think to come and ask because although I have not threaten him he is well aware that the answer would be no and would be totally done. I am very stingy when it comes to my relationship whereas I do not share my man and would not hurt him this way either.
@pjnjclyn (177)
• Newton, New Jersey
6 Apr 11
That is right hwg. You have to be stingy when it comes to your man. If it floats your boat then so be it but as for me ha if I was going to do that then I would have stayed single.
@xien2xien (1383)
• Philippines
6 Apr 11
why on earth a person should agree that their partner will cheat on them, if you like to cheat then cheat but asking permission is like asking your partner that "IS IT OKAY IF I'll KILL YOU .... i'm not a good person or a perfect one i cheated on my boyfriend before but i don't have the guts to ask permission, i just cheat that's all that's why it's called cheating, if you ask permission then it's not even valid as cheating anymore it's called legal act if your partner agrees
@pjnjclyn (177)
• Newton, New Jersey
6 Apr 11
No one is perfect not even me. It is hard for me to wrap my head around that he even asked her that question. I feel that if you are not happy with someone then you leave do not make the other person feel bad about themselves or put them in a position that they feel uncomfortable.
@bubuth (1816)
• Philippines
30 Sep 12
For me, if we really love someone we must not cheat so if my partner will ask me about,Is it okay for me that he will cheat I will answer him Yes, he can cheat but i will also let him go because at the first time that he ask me if he will cheat that only shows that he starting to become rude to me and it will also show that he don't love me anymore.
@mermaidivy (15417)
• United States
6 Apr 11
I thought it is funny that my husband often says if I have a boyfriend here and there, I know he is kidding but I think it is funny that he thinks there is reasons that I would look for boyfriend, of course, I wouldn't cheat, I'm married to him and it is a committment forever, we have a son, we love each other, cheating is wrong, if I wanted to have more than one man, why would I get married.
@blaireth (21)
• Canada
6 Apr 11
I think if this happened to me I'd be gone too! If he was serious that is and this guy7 really sounded so! I don't know the numbers but I know it is a statistical fact that a marriage/relationship can thrive when the people or one of the persons in it are in an open relationship; the chances are less than 50%. one partner in a relationship asking the other if the one in question can have an open relationship is equivalent to asking if they can have an affair which never works as "open minded" as people say they are.
@insulin (2483)
• Philippines
6 Apr 11
If he is planning and will tell me he will cheat,(In my part)Will not talk so much and wait for his actions and after I figured that he really cheated on me,I will be away and if we have a child,I will not let my husband see the kid.I know he do have the right as his the father but for the time he cheated,I think I will be needing a long long time space to heal.
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
6 Apr 11
Hi. pjnjclyn. Is this man a king? If not, he does not need an extra wife. If the first wife is not good enough for him, then why would he need a second wife for? The first wife should fulfill all of his needs. If my husband asked me this question, you best believe that I would be completely gone! I would be gone so fast until he would not be able to see me pack all of my things. And grab our three kids too. Is this man losing it or not? What kind of crazy question is that to ask your own wife????
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
6 Apr 11
I don't think you show any love, honor, respect or compassion for your spouse when you ask for their blessing in infidelity. Embarrassment and shame is all you bring to the relationship. Cheating on a spouse is hard enough to cope with without asking for permission in advance.
• Philippines
6 Apr 11
Crazy husbands like that never fail to remind me to be thankful for boyfriends like mine. :| My boyfriend would never dare pose such a question, and he never once told me a random thought of looking for other women. He is always very vocal about being happy and content with me. Yeah, he's a good boy like that. Haha.
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
6 Apr 11
This is really nuts...asking permission to cheat Okay,give him his freedom and shut the door. Never want to see his face again,and never come again.
@jennyze (7048)
• Indonesia
6 Apr 11
He must be the number one jerk in this world. I would throw him out and wish him happiness with new girlfriend and have a bachelor party afterward.
@p3ks626 (6550)
• Philippines
6 Apr 11
What a crazy thing to ask his wife! If I were his wife, I would also tell me him to go there and walk away so when he comes home, no ones waiting for him. I dont understand why a man would ask something like that from his wife. Its also a stupid question to ask.
@keyform (46)
• Philippines
6 Apr 11
that sounds ridiculous and very immature act... one man is for one woman only...
@toniganzon (49946)
• Philippines
6 Apr 11
Amazing how he could be so courageous to ask his wife he's interested in another woman. Or maybe I can say that he's just insensitive unless he talked to his wife in a joking manner. If it was serious, I would tell him to go and be with that girl and don't go home anymore,
@sophiaraine (1114)
• Philippines
6 Apr 11
I don't think it's cheating. He asked for his wife's permission if he could have another girlfriend, which I think is very stupid. But it's still adultery. If he loves his wife why does he need another girlfriend? If I were his wife, I'll tell him that he doesn't need to commit adultery. If he doesn't love me anymore then I'll suggest we separate. If he tells me he still loves me and just wants to add some spice, then what the hell! Screw you! And that's very insulting for the wife. If he really wants to cheat, he doesn't have to ask her permission. But either way, it's still wrong and it's a sin.