My nephew is a threat to my baby.. how to deal?

@stormlyt (188)
Philippines
April 7, 2011 11:08am CST
I have an 8month old baby. My nephew who is 2yrs old comes to our house often. He likes his cousin and would try to make my baby smile. But sometimes, he just quickly pokes his oousin. One time when my baby was sleeping on the crib, my nephew tried to climb in. I know he is just being playful. Maybe its because there is no other one in our house his age to play with. But im just worried about my little one. Accidents might happen. Im always on guard when he is around. His mom tries to talk to him though but he is just so unpredictable.
11 responses
@zralte (4186)
• India
7 Apr 11
Well, you need to assure your nephew that you still love him, no matter you have your own baby, he is still your nephew and would love him. Show him you mean that. Then explain to him that your baby is still very little and needs lots of love, so you would appreciate if he show his love by not disturbing while your baby's asleep. Of course you'll have to tell him in baby language that he would understand. It may not work straightaway, you need to be patient. Your nephew used to be the only baby (I'm just guessing here), and now there's another baby taking all the love he used to receive from him. Another scenario is that he truly does not realise that what he is doing is bad for the baby. Explain to him that if the baby is woken from it's sleep, it would be grumpy and starts crying. Patience and love ... that's all he needs.
@stormlyt (188)
• Philippines
8 Apr 11
I love my nephew. I never scold him about that. I just leave it to his mom. I just talk to him though and try to explain. Its just that some other times, he just cant resist. It really requires patience and love. He'll understand one day.
@zralte (4186)
• India
8 Apr 11
Children are loveable, aren't they? Just be patient, and keep telling him. He will soon learn. They are very observant and quick to learn, but they forget things easily as well. Don't just assume that he will remember what you told him. He definitely will understand.
@stormlyt (188)
• Philippines
11 Apr 11
They are indeed lovable thats why im being patient. It just takes time for him to understand the situation because he is still very young. It is just up to me to keep an eye.
@ptower76 (1618)
• United States
7 Apr 11
2 year olds are really quite curious and perhaps the term terrible two's is appropriate because of the situations they place themselves in at that age. I think if you supervise him for a few minutes each time he comes over and allow him to look at the baby and perhaps touch the baby's hand and maybe some of the toys, his curiosity will be satisfied or he will lose interest. If on the other hand one tells him don't do this or that, two year old's tend to do it. Its about attention span. Keep the child occupied and hold his attention and he will not be so curious. If allowed to stray around the house, he will touch and often break what he is curious about.
@stormlyt (188)
• Philippines
8 Apr 11
I often let him get close to my baby. I just try to read his mood. But when he is really active, I take my baby away. He squeezed my baby's hand once. I dont want it to happen again.
@ptower76 (1618)
• United States
8 Apr 11
Wise choice. Supervision is what is important.
@marianne87 (3526)
9 Apr 11
I disagree with the people who are raising jealousy issues. I have 3 kids, aged 5, 4, and 7 months. I also have a nephew who is 3 and a half and an only child. My older children have never done anything negative to their baby sister Catherine, they simply wish to engage her in play. My nephew has no real experience of other children, but has always been gentle and treats her like a piece of glass! He calls her his "baby catkin" and adores her as much as her siblings do
@stormlyt (188)
• Philippines
11 Apr 11
Maybe children differ on how they react to other children. But either, everyone should be treated with attention, understanding, and love no matter how things are.
• China
8 Apr 11
Kids are kids,your nephew doesn't know to accept his mom's telling,so he cannot stop coming to your house.The better way is that either of you two women takes good care of the child of your own in case something unacceptable happens,or maybe you two will become enemies some day.Good luck!
@stormlyt (188)
• Philippines
8 Apr 11
Yep. We dont have a choice but just to keep an eye on them. I know he'll just understand better when he is older
@toniganzon (53706)
• Philippines
8 Apr 11
Indeed the 2 year old nephew doesn't have any bad intentions. At that age they cannot decipher anything yet as much as we do and we cannot make them comprehend how dangerous it is to be with the younger ones. My son was like that when he was two with his cousin but my sister in law was very vigilant and i always told my nanny not to leave my son alone with his cousin. Now that he's 7 years old, he knows more not to be so playful to my brother's new baby, in fact he really cares for the little ones now. So just watch his every move and please never scold a 2-year old about being reckless as it is not their fault.
@stormlyt (188)
• Philippines
8 Apr 11
I know he'll get older and understand better. Ill just keep an eye on them when they are near each other. Sure, i never scold him. Its like pointless and is not a good thing to do. Ill just let him understand the situation in his own pace.
@neenie (344)
• United States
7 Apr 11
Yeah, I would be very careful with your nephew around. I would limit his time around your son and always be around if he is near your son. He may not try to intentionally hurt your son, but like you said, accidents do happen.
@stormlyt (188)
• Philippines
8 Apr 11
I know. I just keep an eye on them. MAybe ill just make him watch his cartoons and favorite movies so he will just be on the couch concentrating on that. what do you think?
@mermaidivy (15412)
• United States
7 Apr 11
My niece does the same thing, I have a 6 months old and she is 18 months old. I totally understand that she wants to see the baby, play with him, touch him and stuff but I think her parents should tell not to do something that will possibly hurt my baby like when he was sleeping in his carseat last time when we visited them she poked my baby's face, woke him up and my poor baby cired. I kept saying NO to her because he is sleeping, I mean I don't want to go yell at their kids, I think they should monitor their kid.
@stormlyt (188)
• Philippines
8 Apr 11
I experienced the same thing. My nephew poked my baby when asleep. I was there watching. I just thought he would kiss on the cheek but out of nowhere he poked his cousin. I wanted to be angry but I thought he is just a kid. I just told his mom though.
7 Apr 11
This is a tricky situation and needs to be dealt with asap,the 2 year old is jelous as any child would be when a new baby is in the picture,you must express your concerns to his mother and agree on how to deal with it.And set clear rules and bounderies to protect your litte one
@stormlyt (188)
• Philippines
8 Apr 11
I told my sister about the situation but she just seem to be relaxed about it. Anyway, if something is about to happen, I just tell her to tell her son. I dont want to give her the impression of something bad. I let her deal with his son. Its just that im sometimes stressed out being on guard all the time.
@jonify (90)
• United States
7 Apr 11
Yes, you should guide your baby at all times. But don't forget that your nephew is still a baby also, he's just 2years old and probably doesn't know what he's doing. Kids love seeing and playing with their younger ones, so it's normal for him to behave like that. Guide your baby, but don't prevent your nephew from playing with his cousin. All you have to do is to keep your eye on him anytime he comes around. Thank you.
@stormlyt (188)
• Philippines
8 Apr 11
I always keep an eye of them whenever they are near each other. I just keep on telling him just to touch softly or gently because his cousin is younger than him. Sometimes he seems to listen. But when he is really active, there are just things that are not suitable for his little cousin. Like when he plays catch, he expects his little cousin to play catch too. My sister and I just laughs it out but honestly Im a little stressed out. Im just afraid, accidents might happen. So im always on guard.
@bubuth (1816)
• Philippines
25 Apr 13
It is normal to a kid to be playful with other babies and some of them think babies are toys so they think they can do everything they want to the babies but try to talk in a nice way to your nephew that baby may hurt if he will poke the baby again. Its also not fault of the child if he hurt the baby bacause he or she didn't know may cause of what they may done so the best thing is you guard you baby or try to keep away your baby to his cousin when you are not around.
@xjosiax (74)
• Australia
19 Apr 11
I had the same thing with my nephew. He'd get excited and accidentally poke or try and shake my son. They're kids. They don't know any better. As you said he is just being playful he doesn't mean to harm him. Be gentle, don't raise your voice. Use words like 'Softly softly with the bubba'. Use simple phrases and words he can understand and gestures to show him what you mean. The key will be repetition and reinforcement. Be on your guard as well because he will still get over-excited because he is only two. He will learn eventually. Keep talking to him and just be careful. My nephew is wonderful with babies now because we took the time to teach him. He will keep doing it if you don't take the time so be patient and repetitive. Good luck!