Why is my child suddenly acting like this and what do I do?

@roxxtime (299)
United States
April 24, 2011 2:33pm CST
I have a 7yr old son and a 4yr old daughter, and my daughter has had severe fits lately and I have no idea why. When she is told "no" or especially when it's bed time she has started saying things like "I hate you" and "I want a new mom" and "you are so ugly" and other really mean and out of the norm things. I cannot think of anything that has changed in her life except that my son (who has never even come close to speaking to me that way) went away to my mom's for a weak or so. I don't even know when, where, or how all of that mean stuff got into her vocabulary. My biggest frustration of it all though is that I don't know how to discipline her or what to do about it. I have people telling me to spank her and I've read books about ignoring it but none of it has seemed right. Has anybody had this horrendous experience? If so are there any tried and true methods you suggest? I know it's not just a girl thing because I was one of 3 girls and to this day none of us would say the things she does to my parents.
5 responses
@tink91879 (746)
• United States
25 Apr 11
My son did this when he was almost 4. He wld constantly tell me he hated me and say it to his sister and Dad. I tried ignoring it and I tried explaining it. One day I was helping my daughter with her home work and I asked him to do something and he said it. I asked my daughter to get me the phone and pretended to call someone to come pick him up. I told him to go get ready to see his new family. He said no. About 5 mins later I knocked on the wall and told him they are here. I walked him down to the front door and opened it and of course no one was there. I asked him how he felt and he said I dont want to leave. I told him when you tell ppl you hate them and dont want them around you make them feel like that. You make me feel like you dont want me around and it hurts my feelings, it makes me sad. He never said it again. He really needed to experience what it felt like. I dont recomend telling your child that you hate them and she is older, but maybe let her know how hurtful it is. Does she want a week at Grandmas? I know not everyone will agree with what i did and i dont recomend it for every child. I know my son and I dont believe in spanking for them telling you they hate you. That only agrivates the situation. I dont think she hates you I just dont think she knows how it feels or how to express whatever it is she is feeling. I hope you can figure out a way to help makes this situation better.
@roxxtime (299)
• United States
26 Apr 11
I know she doesn't hate me and she likes going to grandmas but she refuses to spend the night anywhere unless I'm there. She is so attached to me all the time. Usually only gets mad I guess when there has to be a separation from me like if I have to go somewhere or when she has to go to bed. I have told her how she makes me feel and she cries and apologizes, and I'm not even excessive if I say that hurts my feelings she breaks down and cries but then the next day at bed time... same thing.
@keshia2007r (2886)
• United States
28 Apr 11
Discipline is very important. I'm not a mother but I do know a few things. Some form of light punishment should and needs to take place. For instance the more she says mean things to you. Get down to her level. i.e eye to eye, don't stand over her and tell her those things are not nice to say and she needs to say that she is sorry. If she does not, then sit her in a corner so she can think about the things she says. Also, maybe she is getting this terminology from the kids at school. Kids at school are very influential. She could be picking up these bad habits from them and it needs to be stopped before it gets worst. Good luck!
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
25 Apr 11
For me maybe it because they are unwanted child.
• United States
25 Apr 11
Maybe something has changed that you don't know about. My son is 10 and started acting a little strange and I couldn't think of anything that changed either. Come to find out he's starting puberty and is embarassed about the fact that his voice is changing. I'd dig deeper. Sit and have a talk with her and let her know you love her and then say you want to know why she has been acting that way.
@r3jcorp (1384)
• Philippines
25 Apr 11
Luckily I did not experience that to my 2 daughters. Maybe your daughter was so attached to her brother that he thought you gave his brother away and that was the reason of the hatred thing. I think you should correct her attitude and never allow her to grow with so much hatred in you.