Is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time?
By jleigh13
@jleigh13 (34)
United States
May 15, 2011 4:57pm CST
I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced this or if they think it's possible. I feel that I am in love with two different men, although not the same way. They both make me feel wonderful, yet both bring their own unique qualities to the table. I know that this is wrong and as they say, you can't have your cake and eat it too. But, this is so much easier said than done. I don't know what to do because I know I can't keep this going on forever.
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8 responses
@obe212003 (2299)
• Philippines
19 May 11
i had the same problem years ago, but i think on a different note than yours. if you have not committed yourself to either, then it is best that you choose only one. but at the meantime, have time to spend with both and try to assess each one, or if you're really confused as to who, just let go and give yourself some time to think.
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@jleigh13 (34)
• United States
19 May 11
That's great advice. Thank you so much. I do see them both regularly, and it's hard to keep a clear head because I'm so clouded with emotion. I think about this all the time, but in order to really figure out what I must do, I need to be apart from both of them.
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@ludyvel04 (311)
• Philippines
18 May 11
It depends on the kind of love you wanna share with. If with your family, ofcourse yes you can. But with woman-man relationship, its not possible. Only one Eve to complete Adam. Those who tell that they love to persons at the same time, they are deceiving their own selves. That's what my opinion. I don't know with others.
@jleigh13 (34)
• United States
18 May 11
While I am struggling with this, I do somewhat agree with you, abhichan23, and hot_legs15. I know in my head that this whole situation is wrong and that maybe I don't know what real love is. My heart, however, is telling me something so totally different. I feel guilty because of my feelings, but they're there, and I don't know how to deal with them.
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@sam3m1 (190)
• United States
17 May 11
it's not inconceivable that you can love two people at the same time. you probably should consider yourself lucky to have found 2 people to love. proceeding from here is the difficult part unless they are two very exceptional men, willing to share your love. while this is certainly non-traditional, it could be a wonderful arrangement. however, if you or they are not willing to embark on this kind of relationship, handling them will be critical since there is the danger of losing them both.
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@jleigh13 (34)
• United States
18 May 11
I know that I can't keep this going on forever and it's tearing me up inside. I don't want to choose, and I know that's really selfish on my part. I seriously doubt either one would want to share,and I wouldn't blame them. If I was seeing a guy that was seeing another woman, I wouldn't want to share him either. I know it's wrong, but I don't want to lose either one. You are right, however, because if I keep this up, it's not going to end well.
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@hot_legs15 (132)
• Philippines
16 May 11
Love is more than a fleeting feeling. What you feel towards those two guys is mere infatuation. You are attracted to them, but it does not mean you love them both.
Love is more than emotion. It needs commitment, trust, friendship, loyalty, and of course lots of affection. Thus, loving two persons at the same time runs contrary to the basic foundation of love which is commitment.
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@jleigh13 (34)
• United States
16 May 11
Thank you for your helpful comments. I believe you are right. I know that I feel very strongly for them both, but when you love someone, you love them wholeheartedly. That's clearly not what's going on here. There are so many aspects of love that I share with these two men, but there is no commitment, loyalty, or trust. These are the most important.
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@jleigh13 (34)
• United States
18 May 11
That's just the thing, I can't decide who's more important. They are both very different, and I have different relationships with each man. I know that I need to figure it out now, but being the procrastinator that I am, I am putting off the inevitable. These men deserve better than me, but I wish I could just give myself to both.
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@abhichan23 (5)
• India
18 May 11
i totally agree with hot_legs15 here. Love is more than what you feel for the two guys here in this picture. We can't 'love' two persons at the same time.
@jleigh13 (34)
• United States
18 May 11
I just don't know. I feel so strongly for both. I really do feel that I love both of them. Maybe I'm not in love with either one of them, but they both make me feel like I'm on top of the world, and I can't see being without either of them.
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@besthope44 (12123)
• India
2 Jun 11
Hi jleigh, I would say it may be crush or attraction on two. But I believe only one you can truly love. If its suppose to be on two, i believe thats not true love. It will be just a crush or attraction.
@stary1 (6612)
• United States
15 May 11
Yes this is a tough one. Years ago I had a crush on 2 guys at the same time. I didn't want to tell either about the other but felt guilty about it. Fortunately we all just moved on and I didn't end up with either.
Good luck to you! Do they know about each other.
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@jleigh13 (34)
• United States
16 May 11
It's kind of a weird situation. The guy I have been seeing the longest knows that I started seeing the new guy, but the new guy thinks that I have called it quits with the other one. I did at first, but my feelings caused me to continue the relationship. I do feel terrible about it, but my heart is pulling me in both directions. I don't know what the future brings with either one, but sometimes I do feel like just walking away from both of them because I don't want to choose and I don't want to hurt anyone in the long run.
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