How did you do it

Canada
May 17, 2011 3:16pm CST
I just curious how some of you got over your ex or someone you felt you could have never got over? My past relationship ended quite bad my ex left me for someone else which I had to find out on my own. I was in a dark place in my life I felt I couldn't be without him. Now that I look back I made a fool of myself. I tried the whole 'to get over one guy date (get under) another one'; 'Its just not meant to be'; convincing myself hes no good. None of these things really worked. What worked for me was my spouse now showing me what a true man was he showed that he cared about my happiness and always wanted to please me and keep me happy. Please ladies or gents what was the best way you got over your ex whom you felt you couldn't be without?
3 people like this
11 responses
• Philippines
18 May 11
hi.. for me, that's my biggest problem.. 'til now, can't get over of my past relationship.. i've been trying everything but nothing works. i really love her so much! it's really hard if you're deeply in-love with someone who doesn't really love you.. ='(
• Canada
18 May 11
:( I feel you. I always tried to listen to music songs like against all odds, How could the one I gave my heart to, Burn. I felt music helped me the most, music I could relate too. I know it will take alot of time like years depending on how much you loved that person. Just try to do things that keep your mind off of them. Try and go out. Use these discussions but just be prepared for honest answers some you may not agree with but take all into consideration. Try to remember the bad times and get over them based on that.
• Philippines
19 May 11
listening to mellow music only aggravates my pain.. as what i've said, i've been trying everything just to kill my feelings for her. but nothing seems to work.. and what's making it harder for me to forget her is that even though i don't want to, i can't avoid meeting her almost everyday. and though my mind want's to forget her, my heart doesn't.
• Philippines
18 May 11
Moving on is not really easy especially if that relationship made you feel that it would last forever. As for me, I had think of my family and friends. I know that I have really disappointed them and hurt them so much, especially my mom and my best friend. I love my family and friends so much! And seeing them hurting more as I still hold on, made me feel weak and guilty. I know that they love me in return so I have decided to let go and move on. I have focused more on my studies since it felt like I didn't care too much about my studies when I was depressed. I have also hanged out more with my family and friends since I owe them a lot.
• Canada
18 May 11
Thats really good that you can rely on your friends but I also believe you yourself has to get over that person. You have to do it for yourself not really your family or friends. Of course they don't want to see you hurt but what doesnt kill you makes you stronger. Once your get over the whole relationship you will feel the weight lift off of your shoulders and look back and laugh. Well hopefully.
• Philippines
19 May 11
I know that I should do it for your myself. I made my family and friends as a stepping stone in order to let go of the things that made me and my loved ones hurt. :)
@ddaguno (3110)
• Philippines
18 May 11
The easiest way to get over an ex is to find a new love. it is not advisable though because you might treat the next person as a fall back and hurt him in the end. Time heals all wounds. Just give it some more time and you'll forget him eventually.
• Canada
18 May 11
Oh Ive forgotten about him a long time ago I have a man that treats me great and 2 beautiful boys for him. But for sure it did take alot of time I didn't start dating for like 2 yrs I know one girl who didn't get back into the game for 5 yrs. I just wanted to know peoples opinion of heartache or to share their experience
• Philippines
18 May 11
Hi babygirl, awww. I've been there, just last year. I was able to move on by finding myself. The more you love yourself, the more you see how much you're worth, how he failed to see that, and how special you really are. Once you start loving yourself, you won't really need to depend on your past source of strength anymore. :)
• Canada
18 May 11
I hear what your saying about loving yourself. It makes things so much easier in life I find. Its like your on some sort of cloud 9. Confidence is key, when you have that nothing else really matters. However some people do take it to an extreme and end up with huge egos.
• China
18 May 11
There's more to life than love relationship you know.When I'm udergoing distress like that I always get plenty of activities to get myself occupied so I won't constanly think of him.Learn new things,broaden my horizen,and I'll be more confident and maybe sometime I can start a new relationship.
• Canada
18 May 11
Thats a really good way of looking at it. I know at that time as hard as I would try I just felt hopeless. It took alot of will power to get over the whole relationship. It didn't help that he had another girlfriend I always asked what did she have that I didn't but then I told myself to consider it as his loss. I started to rebuild confidence when I got back into the dating world it helped me realized there were plenty of fish in the sea. Much nicer ones too once that want to make you happy. I'm just glad I found the perfect (well my perfect) man I couldn't ask for anything better.
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
17 May 11
Hi. Babygirl198400mx. Welcome to myLot! Well as for me, I have never gotten over him at first that easily. It took me remembering how badly that he has ever treated me to wake up. I also thought about how he has lied to me and cursed at me. He played me for a fool too. And he made me look like I was the one that was silly. So, I dismissed him. I moved on. I have been married to my husband for nine years now. It will be ten years this July 12th. It is never easy getting over an ex that you have truly loved. It hurts even more to see him with someone else, especially when he is showing this woman the love that he could have shown me. This made me feel very sad! But, now all that I do is show my husband and give him as much of love that I can. If my ex did not deserve it, then surely another man will. Take care and be blessed!
• Canada
18 May 11
I'm very happy you found someone and it will be the big 10 yr in 2 months. Hopefully you two will be doing something very nice together. Its his loss, I find 'little boys' do that often always try to flip the script on you. We just have to pray for them I guess I don't understand how a man can mistreat a woman and vice versa. It is sad how love is blind.
@koperty3 (1877)
1 Aug 11
It took me two years before I got over my ex. Broken hurt with time become numb and stronger. I wish you nice day and some happiness.
@keihimekawa (2010)
• Philippines
1 Aug 11
I also broke up with my ex in a real bad way. We didn't have any closure at all. It's true that a lot of friends gave me encouraging words and advice and as much as possible I listened to them but then, no one can make you move on but yourself. What I did was I kept myself busy. I did things I wasn't able to do. I took travels alone and met new people. I never removed our picture in my wallet and PC unless I'm sure that I've moved on. How did I know that I moved on? Whenever I think of him, I only remember happy moments together. I can freely tell anyone of what happened in the past without feeling angry or hurt and I don't harbor any anger towards him :)
@KrauseHome (35026)
• United States
23 May 11
Well, when you break up with someone, it can leave a lot of Hard feelings and make it to where you might have a hard time wanting to Trust someone and allow them in your life, and it could make it hard to where anytime you see them you think about them wishing you were still with them. Sometimes it could take months to be able to move on depending on how bad it ends for sure. I know in the past before I met my wonderful husband there were guys I was with that it was hard to forget them once we broke up, and then there was one or two they were never worth thinking about again for sure. Yes, some cheated on me, and I felt sorry for the next person they were with hoping they never had to be in my shoes, and some of them ended up being Abusive. I think personally the Best thing is finding things to help take the place of that person, and finding New friends, etc. Sometimes just being Free for awhile and Single is what it takes as well. Learn to live and Love yourself and be Happy and when the time is right you will find another and this will be the Best thing that could have ever happened for you.
@zed_k4 (17627)
• Singapore
19 May 11
It's actually mind over body. No one can ever deny that love truly hurts , especially to be betrayed in love as what you have mentioned. But the sun still stands , the moon still glows and it's not the end of the world. One just have to toughen up themselves to get over it. Take some time off , enjoy time with friends , go for a singles holiday or just spend some time away in-country .. away from home. Get thoughts focused and see more people. The problem looks better in a bigger nutshell and perspectives will be gained. Actually , that's how I got over my ex. Well , two-timing me and wanted me to stay despite my confrontation upon discovery. Dumped the crap out of the bag and never looked back since. Anyway , that's life ..and it's not painful now already. I can even talk about it and laugh with friends , families and etc. It's not an easy process , but it can be gotten over with. Seeing a bigger picture makes the small problems appear lighter , trust me. Good luck yeah.
@hpalm710 (87)
• Philippines
19 May 11
getting over from a relationship with someone you really love is not easy. thank God I have never been in this situation. this happens to one of my closest friend. she has tried all she can to forget the guy and we as friends supported her in all ways we can but she still could not get over him. then it happens to one of our friends after. what was nice was that it made her realize how stupid she is. she then shared what she did. this was her advise to our friend: "imagine you have 2 pads of paper. on the other pad, write all the happy things you experienced with him and on the other the pain he had given you. make sure not to be stupid to give justice to everything he did that hurt you. by then you will understand that you do not deserve him" in some cases, we were hurt several times by the one we love most but because we love them, we are giving ourselves excuses why they did it to us. good thing you found the one you really deserve.