Calls unattended

@umabharti (3976)
India
May 21, 2011 9:36am CST
Friends i would wish to kwn how would be the feeling of anyone if some calls of urs are just not even given the priority to get an answer when they are so important matters of ur life to be discussed . How would any one feel if some one just tells lies and just avoids u without answering ur call,you dont have any other means to get to the person to talk.The only means is ur cell phone or a phone call from ur place.
2 people like this
5 responses
@ravisivan (14055)
• India
22 May 11
Umabharti ! I can understand your feelings. You feel as if you are not being given importance to. You feel neglected. You have something important about ur life to be discussed. The person is not attending the call. But this is the order of the day -- be it a call from mother/father to son/daughter in USA. Many times the children are busy and they do not take calls. But they do return after some time when they find it convenient. In fact I advise not attending calls if you are driving or in office. But in your case it may be your parents or your close people -- if you are married - then it must be ur sister or brother or in-laws. It happens. When a call goes from USA people in India may be busy with some other work. But there is no reason for them not to return the call --at least they can give miss calls. Your main discussion -viz. feeling wise we will feel bad. At the same time do not show your anger to them. Try to bridge the gaps. have a good day
@umabharti (3976)
• India
23 May 11
For once or twice it can be understood that ok may be they are in traffic or may be they are busy with ofc works or some household things , If it continues for months and years what if u wr in such place., would u still feel that ok leave it some day they will respond to u or would u feel the way that ur neglected or just felt ur presence is not important anymore in their life.
@ravisivan (14055)
• India
23 May 11
Normal feeling is that you are not wanted by them. a feeling of having been left down. But in life people will return when they want you. In tamil we have a phrase meaning "Nothing happens in this world without reason". (Sozhiyan kudumi summa adathu)have a nice day
@umabharti (3976)
• India
23 May 11
you have very good positive thinking , i seen my negative results many times so its hard for me to make a thinking upside down.I lose hope seein for yeasr.If u think they will return then till then i might lose my interest in things.
@edsss17 (4398)
• Philippines
21 May 11
Definitely disappointed and sad! I once feel like that! My best friend is ignoring my messages and calls because she found new friends! That hurts!
1 person likes this
@umabharti (3976)
• India
22 May 11
yes it hurts., If u want to talk something about ur life or something misunderstandings happened between u and ur friend ,and its the call which u want to take a decision about ur life , it would hurt more.
@sk66rc (4261)
• United States
24 May 11
This may sound little cruel but I refuse to live my life based on someone else's standards or their schedule, nor do I want anybody to live their lives based on mine. I dont drop everything I'm doing & run to my phone everytime it rings. People need to understand I have a life of my own. If someone calls me & I can't get to the phone, they'll just have to leave a message & wait till I get back to them. It goes the other way, too. If I call someone, I don't expect them to drop everything they are doing & answer my call. I'll just leave a message & move on with my life. If the person calls me back, that's fine. If not, that's fine, too. I don't lie about it, either. If they asks me why I didn't answer the phone, I tell them one of 3 things. (1) Reason why I couldn't get to the phone was personal. I don't want to share it & frankly, it's none of their business. (2) I was busy. Understand my life is important to me. May not be important to them but it is to me. I have to put my life on hold because you have something important in your life? One time a guy friend was giving me an attitude because I didn't get back to him soon enough. I told him, "So... If your wife is giving birth & my car broke down. I call you 4 - 5 times & you couldn't answer your phone even though I was in a bind & I had something important i had to tell you, in this case, I was in a small car accident. I should be mad at you for not answering my phone call?" He said, "Well... No... That's different. I was in the middle of something important." So I told him, "How do you know I wasn't in the middle of something important myself when I didn't answer your call? How selfish is that of you? Why does everything have to evolve around you where only thing that should matter is "your importnat" occassions?" He seemed to understand my point & he appologised... It never happened again. (3) People who are important to me understand the way my life is. I don't need to explain myself to them. They don't need to explain their lives to me either. Sometimes I would ask them, "Hey, I tried to call ya earlier & left a message. I haven't heard from ya since. You ok?" And they'll tell me either, "yeah, I'm ok... I was busy". Then my response would be, "Oh, ok..." & that's it. Or, "Nah... I was having some issues." If that's the case, "Everything ok?" "Ehh... I'll handle it." "Ok..." That's usually how my conversation goes with most of the people in my life.
@umabharti (3976)
• India
24 May 11
yes everyone have their own life , i agrree with u and ur response to the calls unattended. So is personal life more important that friends who help us in very much need time. Would u forget ur past life means ur friend who helped u in very needy time of urs. Is ur life completely to ur personals or to ur own family.Dont u think of others issues. No need to run to the phone all time,or just keep to the answering machine, just a response to a call and talk for a while and say if u hav work that u shal talk later, doesnt it sound more good. If we be rude in times then at times we should accept that same rudeness from others.Dont u agree this point. No one needs to put ones life on hold , However ur not the only person on this earth living, we are living together in the world we need each other some or the other time. Phones or cell phones are to be utilised in proper way.These are worth.When we dont have the facility to reach to a person these are the providers which help a lot to keep us in touch.
1 person likes this
@sk66rc (4261)
• United States
25 May 11
You seem to have misunderstood my point. Seems like every statement you have made are correct but at the same time, your statements seem to support my feelings. I will go statement by statement starting with the last one you have made... (1) "Phones or cell phones are to be utilised in proper way.These are worth.When we don't have the facility to reach to a person these are the providers which help a lot to keep us in touch." - What do you thing "proper ways" of utilizing phones are? Keep calling someone when they answer & when they don't answer, automatically assume the worse & jump to a conclusion, be mad at the person? Is that the proper way of using phones? My point was, have some understanding that the other person might be going through just as rough time as you are or dealing with just as important things in their lives & don't have the time to answer the phone. Why do I have to answer my phone in the middle of dealing with my crisis & have to explain myself to someone why I didn't answer my phone? Isn't that rude on their part, not knowing the reason but to accuse & be mad at me without knowing the whole story? (2) "No one needs to put ones life on hold , However ur not the only person on this earth living, we are living together in the world we need each other some or the other time." - You are right. I'm not the only one living person on earth. But neither are people I know. They do have some common courtesy to respect my personal time & space. They understand there are times when I'm going through hard time myself, may be not as bad or at times even worth than they are. How can I help others when I can't even help myself? I can't seem to focus on task on hand because I'm going through rough time & you want me to listen to you & help you? With all the things going on, all I'm gonna do is look like I'm not listening because I have so much on my mind. Now they're gonna be mad at me for that? Not being able to help you because I'm not able to? (3) "we be rude in times then at times we should accept that same rudeness from others. Don't u agree this point." - Not sharing my private thoughts with others, is that being rude? Ok, then I guess I'm rude. Whoever says I have to tell anybody anything? Who I share my life with is my choice, nobody else's. Who are they to demand an answer about my life? And yes, I do expect the same thing from everyone. I expect people to not tell me things about themselves or their lives if they don't feel like telling me and/or share them with me. They will tell me when they are ready & willing, just like I will tell them when I'm ready & willing. (4) "No need to run to the phone all time,or just keep to the answering machine, just a response to a call and talk for a while and say if u hav work that u shal talk later, doesnt it sound more good." - Let's look at this from the other side. If someone calls me & I don't answer, how about "Hmmm... May be he's busy. I'll just leave a message & he'll call me when he has free time. We'll talk then.." Doesn't that sound better than automatically assuming they are lying or I'm trying to avoid them? May be I am trying to avoid them. I don't know about you but there were times when I just wanted to be left alone. I'm not going to lie about it. I'll tell my friends honestly, "I just wanted to be left alone." They'll respect that. I don't know about people you know but hey, who am I to tell you who to hangout with. All I'm saying is, why keep calling them if they don't answer or call you back just because you wanna talk to them? (5) "Is ur life completely to ur personals or to ur own family.Dont u think of others issues." - This sounds like what you're doing. Does everybody's life completely to your life? Everybody owes you an answer why they didn't answer your phone call? I don't work like that. I value other people's issues but at the same time, I value my own as well. I'm not the one to push my issues on other people. They're called "my issues" for a reason. Because I need to handle them. I'm not saying I don't ever need help. But I'm not going to be mad at people around me just because they are not able to help me or hear me out. I understand they have lives of their own & if they can't help, then it's my job & mine alone to handle my problems & issues. I don't consider other people rude just because they don't answer my phone call at my time of need. I consider may be, just may be, they have issues of their own & they are not in position to hear me out. (6) "So is personal life more important that friends who help us in very much need time. Would u forget ur past life means ur friend who helped u in very needy time of urs" - I don't know about you but people I consider my friends have slightly different views on things, as I do. I don't help people & expect something in return. If I do, all it does is lead to disappointments. I believe me & my friends are beyond that mentality, "if you do something for me, I'll do something for you" type of thinking. Or "Since you have done something for me in the past, I'll do something for you" type of attitude. There's an old saying, "A man's character can be easily judged by what he does for those who obviously can do nothing for him." I help out when I can. Not because someone helped me once. I don't expect people to help me because I help them in the past. I do it just to do it. And friends I have are same way. They do things for others without asking anything in return. I believe that's the way it ought to be, other wise, helping out of goodness of their heart some how looses it's meaning.
@umabharti (3976)
• India
25 May 11
your right on your point of view and i am right on my point of view,both are right as we are discussing two characters here., one who is suffering from not attending calls , the other who is suffering from calls and do not have time for it which is also standing correct. Now who is wrong,is it the negative thinking or the time , how do we get negative thinking? and what basis we judge the other person. Okay let me ask you one thing as you responded so nicely to the discussion illustrating each and every sentence i did with the response previously to you ,tell me how many times u came to check the discussion u responded to me., Did u think that i had work and did not respond to ur response the whole day or did u think "why do i care for someone whom i don't even know think to respond to the discussion i replied" be honest and tell me. To tell u the whole day i was thinking what i should answer to your response.If just a day ago discussing to a person whom we dont even know makes us or gives ur the feeling that we have the responsibility to answer, What feeling we should get when our best friends who are for years are not responding to the calls we do,Why can not a problem in the middle if came ,should be resolved with a one phone call and get in touch with each other as usual.Missing someone is really hurting to anyone on this world as we are humans not robots.
1 person likes this
• China
26 May 11
Hi,umabharti. I can understand your feeling,if the your call is unattended on purpose,don't think too much,if the one want to treat you like this,then you can ingore him too. However,i did the same thing before,one of my friens turns out to be a bad guy,so i don't want to talk to him anymore,so i never answer his phone calls,then at last we did't cantact with each other. If you want to know why he treats you like this,you can go and find him ,then talk to him,so that you can understand why. Wish you happy.Good luck.
@umabharti (3976)
• India
26 May 11
Some times good friends in some reasons get departed like this only.I am not angry on the person who is not picking out the call i am just not getting a conclusion for a problem which i want to have a talk and solve it. Thanks that u understand my feelings and u said your opinion regarding "calls unattended" the other person is not always try to ignore not is a bad guy/girl.Just something else is there for not attenidng the call of mine. I cant reach to him/her and talk out the issue.As i am bound with the restriction of my own.I am a girl and i am not used to things like going out and all this. My only source is a call."A CAll" which i can speak .
@rosekiss (30260)
• Eugene, Oregon
23 May 11
Fortunately, I don't have that problem, as i basically just use it to talk to my family, and so far, they haven't hung up on me, at least not on purpose anyway. I don't know what I would do without my phone, as it comes in very handy that is for sure. Take care, and have a very good day.
@umabharti (3976)
• India
23 May 11
yes ur fortunate as u dont get such type of responses from ur people or ur best freinds or when u r in need to them to discuss about important matters.Good luck.Have a nice day.Tcare.