My battle with depression ...2011,4 years after my failed attempt to fix me

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I am still alive. A little better now. But still I have those times and nights where I feel so alone and think still of suicide. A little confict affects me so fast.And I keep on holding to my faith and trying all my best to think positive whenever depression hits me. I still worry too much about tomorrow. I have become the person who always has a Plan B. Ironically, for inspite of thinking I am optimistic, I tend to think that things will not go so well in the end and so I must always have a back-up plan. So, the quality of my life has been dependent on skepticism and anxiety. Today, I will again try to fix me.I learned about St.Johns Wort.It is herbal and many has told me that it work wonders for them before. I will try my luck with a doctor but I will be determined to tell him, I don't have to go through counselling and tests for I still have a healthy mind and body on the average.If he doesn't cooperate and refuses to give me a prescription for the mildest anti-depressant in town, then I will take St. Johns Wort. Wish me luck. (^+^)