Would You Help Your Friend in Need?

Philippines
May 24, 2011 8:04am CST
I have a friend who approached me for a loan because her husband had an accident, where he hit another person. They were looking for some money to help pay for the victim's hospital bills. I have often come to the rescue of friends, but I hesitated helping my friend this time, because I know her husband had a drinking habit, and he was drunk while driving. The damage to the victim isn't that much, I think, but still, I felt that coming to the rescue of my friend is only helping her tolerate her husband's drinking problem. Was I wrong in turning my friend's request down? How far will you go to help a friend?
9 responses
@sumanadep (1230)
• India
24 May 11
I think you should not lend money in this case because that person needs a lesson to learn and there is not guaranty the you will get the money back... the person needs to know the seriousness of drinking and driving.. for I don't know how far I will to help my friend but if he really needs the money for a good cause I will surely try my best to help...
• Philippines
25 May 11
Hi sumanadep, Thanks for taking the time to reply. I guess I can try and help her in other ways, I've done so in the past, and she has done the same for me. But this time, I have to say no to help her help her husband. I hope she will see the wisdom of my decision when things have calmed down for her. Thanks!
@donna22 (1120)
24 May 11
I can understand that you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. On one hand it is the victim who needs the money but on the other hand its not really your problem. You did not cause the accident, your friends husband did and the fact that he was drinking makes it worse. No matter what you decided to do there would be good and bad points but I think you have made the right choice because I think that by giving them the money it could appear as though you are saying that it is ok for her husband to do what he did because you are there with money to put it right.
• Philippines
25 May 11
That's right, Donna. It's really a matter of saying no to someone who has been there for me in the past. She's upset with me, I know that. But I think given time she'll see my reasons for doing what I did. Thanks!
@Graceekwenx (3163)
• Philippines
24 May 11
Welcome to Mylot Blogger! You have done the right thing. To assist them would mean that you tolerate drunk driving. I, for one, had to learn this lesson well with great financial loss from my part. I had lent someone money but they never paid me back. I was only trying to help but they didnt care any less. As for your question on how far i will go to help a friend, i guess i can still lend money but at a verrrry minimal amount anyd that i am not to expect that they would return it to me.. I will consider it as charity.
• Philippines
25 May 11
Thanks for the reply. It's sometimes not easy to put boundaries to friendship. And I think that's where I feel a little guilty, because saying no to my friend may make her feel that she can't count on me to be there for her. Anyways, I think a good chat with her is in order and that's what I'll do this week. Thanks!
@stanley777 (7176)
• Philippines
25 May 11
You did the right thing my friend.It's natural for us to help a friend but as you have said your friends husband have a drinking problem he should have known better.I know it's very hard to reject a friend but by doing so I think you have help your friend's husband already by learning his lesson.
• China
25 May 11
Yes,of course!
@ckciasigurl (1585)
• Vienna, Austria
25 May 11
hi bloggermegan, you can lend someone if you know she will pay at the right time , there are many cases that they lend money but they are not paying it. it is just like your giving money, YOUR OWN MONEY, it is right that you didn't lend them for a reason that they should over come there problem and to let the husband notice that he is wrong, that the husband should change because we all know that driving while drinking is a big problem. In this situation right now maybe the husband will be good already
25 May 11
did they have a long married...???n do u always help her...???i think what are u doing now is right....tell her to leave that bad guy ASAP.....
@sjvg1976 (15684)
• Delhi, India
25 May 11
In my opinion you did right thing by helping your friend.By the money you gave to your friend you helped your friend not her husband. There is no question of hesitating as friend always come frist to rescue friend. I always beleive you should have such friend who never think of any thing whenever you are in need he just helps you out to get from the wores situstion.Please be sensitive & try not to overthink on this incident you did what a real friend has to do for a friend.
@bdance22 (86)
• Philippines
25 May 11
sumanadep , i beg to differ. i will lend money but only money that i can consider lost. Meaning i can live without ever getting it back. if someone is asking for $500 and i can only lend $50 then that just the amount i can give. And I am ok not getting it back. Something to that thought. In your case bloggermegan , do as I go only give what you can. Any simple amout can help, Just mentioned that you can't give the loan that they are asking but you can give a small amount that might help. For someone in need any help is appreciated. it happened to me once so i know how to appreciate people who help.