I always lend my hand but when i'm going thru issues, I don’t get the same
By JJohnson79
@JJohnson79 (301)
United States
June 4, 2011 4:25pm CST
Whenever my friend is going thru things, im the first person to call and im always there with helpful advice. But when the shoe is on the other foot and I have my little issues, I don't get the same response. What is up with that? Like my friend knows I have all these health issues and doesn't bother to call or text just because. The only time I really hear from her is if she needs advice on something or to gossip. Im too darn old to be gossiping and I could care less about it. How do I deal with somebody like her? I believe that she's a selfish person because if I knew she wasn't feeling well, I would occasionally check on her even if it was just a text saying hello you were on my mind. But her....ooooh no she only contacts me when it concerns her or to gossip
2 people like this
8 responses
@Arkine (216)
• United States
5 Jun 11
Life is too short for one. If you have health problems and she aggrivates you this much then you might want to reconsider your friendship. If that isn't an option then you'll simply have to accept her the way she is, in all her selfishness.
You could also talk to her about the fact that you are feeling neglected by her.
I'll be honest, I don't text people a whole lot. I have friends that have health issues. I guess I occasionally check in on them to make sure they are okay, but I figure if something major happens they'll let me know, so I don't worry about it too much. I don't feel that I'm being selfish ... but I don't gossip much either. I do occasionally ask their advice, if I feel the best advice would come from them.
@JJohnson79 (301)
• United States
5 Jun 11
Its not that she aggravates me, I just don't understand how she can be inconsiderate to my situation. She's known about my health issues so its not like this is something new. I will just accept the fact that shes selfish and inconsiderate to other peoples feelings and keep her at a distance. We only text alot because she doesn't always have good reception and if she does call(to gossip) the call disconnects. Besides its easier for me to text because I be at therapy or something
@polaris77 (2040)
• Bacau, Romania
5 Jun 11
Unfortunately many people whom we call friends have this type of attitude,which indicates that in fact they don't care about nothing but themselves,and that can't be called a true friendship,it's just a relationship between two persons in which one does everything to help her friend and the other simply doesn't care and certainly doesn't do the same thing for her friend.I think your friend will open her eyes only if you refuse to help her the next time she calls,maybe that will open her eyes and make her reconsider her attitude.
@JJohnson79 (301)
• United States
5 Jun 11
Thank you so much and I believe that is the truth. I have already distance myself from her, like I don't spend as much time with her as I use to. So maybe she will put her selfish ways aside and open her eyes to see that things aren't the same with us. If not...oh well
@rosielleanne (121)
• Philippines
5 Jun 11
being a friend, you shouldn't ask for anything in return. but when you look at it, if she's a true friend to you, she should care about what's happening to you, she should check on you every now and then. you should probably talk to her about things so that you'll be on the same page. after talking, you should decide if you still want to be a friend or not/
@JJohnson79 (301)
• United States
5 Jun 11
Yeah I've been advised that I should try and talk to her but I could really care less now. Im so use to it and if I bring it to her attention, I wouldn't want her to start acting like she care just because I brought it up. I will just leave it as is and when I just completely drift away then that's it. I've changed some things in my life for the better and she's still reading the same chapter so I need to be surrounded by nothing but positive people
@isprkln (8)
•
5 Jun 11
Sadly, there are friends like this. I have learned that you cannot expect, you can only accept.
@rhejans (191)
• Philippines
5 Jun 11
Maybe there are things are more important to her on the time you need help and care for. I worried that maybe because she can't able to contact you because there is something going on to her unusual. How many times it happened to you? if it once or twice. try to look at the other side. try to see the things that is really hard to understand and investigate it. Maybe she is in need of help. I know you are the one who need in help and care for concern but what if she needs in rescue. nothing will loose you. at the end if you find out that your thoughts is right then give her what know she deserves. but now maybe your the one who could help her. sometimes we only see those things we know that should focus on. But believe me even how selfish a person was. there is something inside her pushing her not to get in touch and hinder her because there is something going on to her that we all don't know.
TRY TO GIVE HER TIME TO INVESTIGATE EVERYTHING ABOUT HER. YOU MIGHT FIND THE ANSWER
Hope you get my point. Hope It might help to both of you God Bless
@JJohnson79 (301)
• United States
5 Jun 11
I understand what you're saying but its not just once or twice...its all the time. So enough is enough and there's no excuse. I treat her like she treat me, I don't call or text to see how she's doing because she doesn't care enough for me to do so. Im just gonna leave the relationship where its at. Its no big deal, can't miss what you never had. It just shows me that maybe she was never a true friend
@ahvryl (15)
•
5 Jun 11
Its so disappointing to have friends whom you cant count on. I also have some friends before that I feel they turn my back on me whenever I need company or someone to talk to. Glad to find new ones that who are always there for me and I could count on whenever I need them. Maybe you should not ask anything in return. Just be genuine to your friendship. Or you can also find new ones you can count on or someone you could talk to.
@JJohnson79 (301)
• United States
5 Jun 11
I don't know if im gonna seek new friends because its hard to gain my trust. So I will just have to deal with the fact that true friends are rare these days. I do have a friend that lives closer to me and we're pretty close and have known her for a few years. She looks at me as her older sister and our kids get along great...Thank you
@singlemommy (2955)
• United States
5 Jun 11
I have friends like that too. Honestly, I have stopped reaching out to those friends. I put them on my back burner, just like they put me there. I think it is the best way to deal with them. Next time she calls and wants to gossip or needs advice, maybe you could tell her that you are busy or something. I'm sure that wouldn't be a lie because everyone seems to live a very busy life.
@rattanchauhan (89)
• India
5 Jun 11
Well if she is behaving like this then she is not your friend, forget being best friend. I would also suggest to stay away from such friends who are just a friend when they need you. Or you can make her realize what she is doing later when she needs you someday and you behave like this. But better ignore such people. She will find someone else to gossip.
