Complicated Person

Philippines
June 8, 2011 12:09pm CST
How could I fix myself..When the first time I fall in love,that's the time when I ruined myself.I degrade my being woman. Until, second,third and fourth I've serious and really loved relationship.But all them was a failed.I don't know what's my mistake, I just loved them and do anything to prove and how.I gave my whole heart, trust, body ,soul and myself but why he just left me after giving all of those. It is wrong to love in rush and wanna get in a serious level of relationship.Why they able to serious and love others? Why me? they can't? What's wrong with me?I am getting wild just have fun because of the pain and sorrow.Maybe, I was born to get hurt and just being hurt,used and fooled to the person I really loved. I am very tired of getting hurt but why I can't stop to love him.It' very hard to move on it takes a years. And when I moved on, in first I am happy but sooner being hurt again..and again from the first 'till the fourth relationship. I almost forget, how to move on and now I am back to start again. Getting the pieces to complete but everything was lost love for trust and respect for myself.I really don't know what to do.I am very desperate woman. I almost do nothing in my life but to always and every night crying for reminiscing what they've done to me.I can't even stand all over again.
1 person likes this
7 responses
@moneyin6 (14)
8 Jun 11
I am sorry to hear that. You should not beat yourself up for people that do not appreciate you. However, kudos to you that you are willing to analyze and grow as a person base on your experience. Maybe it is the type of men that you are attracted to? Maybe it is how you treat the relationship? Do you have close family or friends that know your relationships that can give you advice? How about some therapy? Don't get me wrong, I am not suggesting that something is wrong with you when I advice therapy. Therapy could be a support for you to overcome your past relationship so you could go forward. Good luck.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Jun 11
It' okey. Yeah you are right but of course I can't see it because I am depressed and asking for understanding.Yeah it hurts me so much but I know it will helps me to grow us a person and be more matured as an individuals .But , It's very hard because I am a type of person when you are going to underestimate or look down then I just go with the flow and I doesn't don't care at all.And maybe I still have an unfinished business from my past that is why I am begging and seeking for a love and care right away.I just give my attention and love which the person I loved from the past reject it so, I am trying it to others.My fault maybe it that, I love too much and giving my trust one hundred percent.My family knows so much about my stupid love cruel story of my life and they are very tired of listening my repeating heart problem over and over.But they don't understand me so much they just loved and angry.I am looking a therapy for myself but I didn't find it.How I wish.Thanks for the concern.
• Philippines
9 Jun 11
HI! krieyszel. It's really hard to be in a serious relationship these days. Often than not, you will just end up crying at the end. Maybe next time you love again, make sure not to give your all to your man. Always leave something for yourself so that you will not get hurt really bad. Don't show your man that you love him that much and you will do anything for him. This will only make him overly confident with your relationship and it will no longer be challenging and exciting to him. Cheer up! Happy mylotting!
• Philippines
10 Jun 11
I just don't know how to edit my response which i already posted. I don't know if it is still possible. Just want to edit my 2nd sentence "at the end". should be in the end hehe
• Philippines
11 Jun 11
That was my stupid and biggest mistake that I'd take seriously into a relationship I am that rush to need love right away.And I always end up loser and alone.So you are telling me, that man also wants a challenging and exciting relationship?Like what I am looking for? Because, I don't want to have a boyfriend who is very gentlemen and serious.I also wanted a challenging relationship. I just want to asked if what man really makes fall in love in a woman? I mean in the physical and Attitude or qualities?I wanna know, so that next time I know what to do.
• Portugal
11 Jun 11
im sorry for your situation till now, me too i always got hurt when i loved a guy. what i can say to you is that you should cheer up. you loved them truly and you did what you could for them. the reason why it didnt work is bcs none of them was the one for you. when you find the right guy you will see that he wont hurt you^^ you know some relations are meant to fail just for us to find the right guy. dont be sad and dont cry^^ just think that they lost bcs they were the ones that lost someone that loved them truly^^ and wait for the guy to appears. he will appear soon
• Philippines
16 Jun 11
It's okey. Yeah, it's my mistake also because I just let him to hurt and fooled me.When I know, it wasn't right but I'm still continue doing the happy right things which hurts me.Just because I am blinded with my stupid love for him.I hope someday I'll find a man who deserves for my love.Well,I know that relationship has two side it give us happiness and pain.But the fact is, it's very hard when you have attached to someone and can't let it go.He was the one could make me happy but he jut fooled me since we were.I wanna accept it whole heartedly but maybe I just let the time heals it. I am in the process in moving good and for good.Thanks ;-)
• Philippines
9 Jun 11
Oh so sorry. I know its so hard. I was once in that kind of situation but i think learn to open it up to God. cry it out till no more tears to come out. And try to focus on things you wanted to happen. things you want for a change... And if ever you fall in love again try to remember to leave something for yourself. And keep in mind that you love yourself more. Well pray for you that you'll be ok soon..
• Philippines
11 Jun 11
yeah right. It is really...Only God could heal this pain in the right time.I am doing that one,I cried so much until no more will fall.I did everything just to convert my attention in other things.But there are time I can't deny the pain and ignore it's really sucks.I am very determine to love myself.I am very busy loving myself..I want my love,trust and respect will back.Even though it's very hard to make it but I will.Thanks for the concern my lotters.
• China
9 Jun 11
Hi,Krieyszel.Cheer up,forget the bad things. I want to give you a hug if you allow me. Don't be sad,if the things make you unhappy,just forget it and leave it,nothing can stop you finding happy. If you were hurt in your reationship,you should stop it,I know it's very hard,but you must do it.Once you jump out of the wrong relation,you will find there are so many other things worth you seeing. Make up your mind,and don't cry any more,wish you luck.
• Philippines
11 Jun 11
Yeah right.I should forget all the bad things that was happened to me.How I wish you will hug me I really need someone who will hug me and someone I could lean on a shoulder to cry for.I wanna shout out loud my heavy feeling.I am trying my best so hard to forget and leave it all behind.How I wish I will got accident and will have an amnesia.Yes, I will force myself to just accept and forgive even he didn't asked.What is done is done.I will take it as a part of our life.Yeahm, things seems not so easy but I have to move on.How I wish my heart will help.I will and be a better person.
• United States
8 Jun 11
You should not cry over what these men have done to you, you should be happy you are away from them. You know that you are more deserving than that. You might have a problem being drawn, or attracted to the same personality, and this is what hurts you the most. Because, you see, any man with a brain in his head would "know" how to treat a lady, no matter how she acts or what she says. The man can either accept you for who you are, or walk away. I don't know the specifics of what men do to you or vice versa, but there is a pattern here. You need to break it.
• Philippines
10 Jun 11
I f only I could but every time I recall on how he fooled me for a years and even just a one second he loved me but he didn't.How I wish to find my happiness. I am very down super down and I didn't know how to cope up and stand again.yeah...I am hoping to be a bravely enough for me to be able to face and fight for every trails in life.To control my heart and let my mind run.If I don't have my real friends and family who's always there to give me advices and support maybe I am nowhere now.They are the biggest factor for me to live and encourages me more.To tell me just laugh your burden and just keeps yourself busy for me to move on and forget thinking whose painful and sorrow moments.Now, I am busy loving myself and live life.Like what the sayings says life must go on.And live life to the fullest. I hope someday I'll find the peace of mind and happiness.
@mansha (6301)
• India
8 Jun 11
Its not you dear, its just that you haven't found the right person as yet. One thing about relationship stay aloof a bit to avoid heart breaks, learn to protect yourself many of us rush in to the relationships with all we have got, while other person might not be feeling the same way, take it slow and let it grow. Someone rightly told me that do not make anything or any person your whole reason to live. Because then you are indebted to that for life and so keep your dignity and self respect , love but do not love so much that you get hurt.
• Philippines
10 Jun 11
I blame myself because I've always got into failed relationship.I always get hurt to the person I loved.They just good in first but sooner and later they left me hanging behind.That's my biggest mistake I fall in love easily and get it into serious thing even the guy didn't proved his love yet.Also, I love too much that why maybe I got hurt so badly.Yeah I always remember that line ."TAKE IT SLOW, LET IT GROW" I'll take your advice friend.Thank you.I will let back the dignity and self-respect that was lost.I hope to be a better person and try not to be bitter anymore. If there was a lesson I've learned it was do not give your hundred percent of love and trust.Just it a twenty percent of it.And before you love other you should love yourself first.I've hurt so much but I've learned a lot.And I should apply that I've learned in my next relationship.By this time, take it slowly but wisely. ;-)