please don't live beyond your means, you never get enough!!!

Philippines
June 13, 2011 10:40pm CST
Hi All, well yesterday, I was about to go home when I bumped with the company janitor. I said, "hey, you're still here? Thought you already left for home???" then he said "Oh, I was roaming around, trying to find some money for my fare back home and tomorrow's fare coming here, do you have some extra there sir?" Wow, I was like? Again and again? Well that was his case every now and then, and I'm so fed up with it. You know the phrase, "once is enough, twice is too much?" well it happened several times, so I already learned. I didn't lend him anything... As I went home, I was thinking am I so bad that I didn't help him? All I want for him is to budget what he's got. I mean, we all have our families, we're supporting our families, and if we can manage to live from the payday to the next, then he should too. He's been borrowing from my office mates too, and he barely pays. He's got an outstanding debt from me though, but I don't ask him to pay for it, I know he can't. But the thing is, he still asks/borrow from us. And he never learned a lesson. So I want him to think to himself, that he should know how to budget the money he got on a payday. And if it's really not enough, he should find some extra income schemes. There are a lot of ways to earn money though. I am just bad, call me bad or worse. But this time, I want him to learn something, and if it takes that way, too hard for him. I know, it's for his betterment, even if he had to learn it the hard way. He can either blame me, or thank me for not helping him yesterday.
1 person likes this
8 responses
@Masihi (4228)
• Canada
14 Jun 11
You know, about 3 years ago, I'd actually sympathise with the man, being on welfare myself and thinking smoking would probably be a stress-reliever for him, but circumstances in my life have taught me how to budget very carefully, and there's things that we ***think*** we need but actually don't, and in some cases our lives are a lot better because we got rid of whatever we used to think we need. Granted, it does involve making some pretty tough decisions, but still, when one is in a tight budget, then it definitely is within our best interest to prioritise our needs and wants.
• Philippines
15 Jun 11
Yes, very well said my friend. It should be first things first, know what you need and what you want. Because most often than not, we usually spend on what we want than what we need, then when the time calls for us to spend on what we need, we've already exhausted our funds, and it would lead us to borrow just to meet our needs. Aight?
• Philippines
14 Jun 11
There's nothing wrong with what you did. Sometimes you have to stop giving to make that someone stand up on his own. The guy seems very dependent not only on you but to many people.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
15 Jun 11
Yes, it is evident that he's becoming so dependent on a lot of us. At first I thought, I was the only one, he's been asking some money, but when my office mate noticed that he keeps coming from me, she said, hey, he's borrowing right? Well, don't be too complacent on lending him big amount of money, he's done it to almost all of us. I didn't listen though, I lent him, once, twice, then I stopped. Then I gave him whatever I could offer every now and then. But I stopped lending him money, why? He doesn't pay, and he doesn't even explain why he can't pay, he'd come to me again, when he needs money AGAIN, and AGAIN. So I said no, this time I was so firm. And just said, I don't have extra.
@bingskee (5238)
• Philippines
14 Jun 11
we can't help by suddenly stopping to lend a helping hand just because we think the person is being abusive. that said, we could always ask somebody why he keeps on borrowing when he still have outstanding debts. we could always reach out and help. by knowing what the real problem is, we will be able to understand.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
15 Jun 11
Hi bingskee, you got a great point here. Yes, I do agree with that. I don't want to help just not to make him feel bad at me, and I can't help when something's going on my head. I have already asked him why he keeps asking for help. And I just don't find his excuses valid. Can you imagine, three days from payday, he's already asking around to borrow some money, and he keeps doing that every now and then. When you ask him, he can enumerate a lot of excuses that are so common to us all. You know you got to pay your rent, your electric bills, buy foods, etc etc. I don't want to be rude, I just said, I don't have extra as of the moment, and that was true that time. I usually bring money sufficient for the day. Anyway, just yesterday, I talked to him, and my manager was around, we suggested some ways that he could earn extra income. I hope he would try what we suggested. It doesn't require big investment, and it would really suit him. So I hope he'd try, we'd be happy to support him in anyway. thanks.
@megamatt (14333)
• United States
14 Jun 11
There are way too many people that are living beyond their means for sure in this day and age. I mean, its really no great mystery that there is going to be some problems that you live beyond your means and you wonder why you are having some problems. Again, it is no great mystery when a person lives beyond what they should, they are going to have any number of problems later on. I have known people who expected that they would get big promotions at work or get some bonus, but suddenly they didn't. After they racked up massive bills. That will show you that nothing is really for certain in life when it all comes down to everything. I think for this person, it is for the best if the lesson is learned the hard way. Really life is not a pleasant experience for many people. There are going to be a lot of people who are going to suffer and sometimes its no fault of their own but many times, it is very much their fault. I actually try to live slightly under my means, because you never know what is going to happen. Something that is a certainty one day, could be something that is rather uncertain the next day. People can be on top of the world but lose out big. Save your money and spend it wisely. Don't buy more than you can afford. That is a lesson that many people have not grasped.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
15 Jun 11
Yeah, it's quite humiliating being refused. But if it's the only way he should learn I am willing to give that lesson to him. I really did. I hope though he's got no ill feelings with me. And I hope he'd learn to live within his means from now on. God bless him. And yeah, you were right, nothing is really sure in this world. It's really a risk to pile up your bills for an expected, increase in compensation or promotion... NOT Guaranteed. it's always safe to spend when you already have the money.
@toniganzon (41120)
• Philippines
14 Jun 11
I don't think you were bad at all. I think he got used to depending too much on others. My brother once told me that I should learn how to refuse from abusive people. To give is ok but if that person is very abusive then it's time to say no. My brother told me that I don't have the obligation to feed that person's family. If I continue to do that it's like I am raising his whole family. So don't feel bad.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Jun 11
Yeah, I believe we have the same perspective with your brother, I was bothered yesterday, because as I went home, my office mates gathered and they talked about helping him again. But I already conclude, that it's just not my time to help, not any more. I want him to really learn something from his situation. True enough my friend, he's got used to relying on us. Sort of abusive, he even got the nerve to tell us how much he needs the money, because he can't do this or that, for us to be compelled to give. But I did learn my lesson, sometimes being so merciful wont do good to a person. I hope though, he'd make up his mind and try doing some extra income activities to meet his needs. Thanks my friend.
• India
15 Jun 11
Hie friend, well I too have experience such things in life. Tell you the truth its very annoying when such people arise in situations. I have a similar example to your disussion I know this person from my college so is always lazy in his work he used to come late, have poor atendence and always used to tell others ti make his project by showing symphaty to others telling that his mom dad is sick and used to give such reasons. This guy studies in my class and has also approached to me for doin project I did it two or three times taking into consideration of his symphaty but now I guess its too much of help it is said if you dont show discipline and keep and supporting you are doing nothing elese but destroying their lifes. So concluding I would like to tell that such persons in life should be a lesson in beginning so that they learn.
1 person likes this
@elida279 (165)
• Bulgaria
14 Jun 11
Yes, you are 100% right that he should learn to manage himself and he is not going to learn if you and your colleagues keep "helping" him. I also don't like to give even if I feel sometimes bad about it. But once you give the next time they will take you for granted and continue asking. Even some people become really insolent and they make you feel as like it's your obligation to help them. No, thank you. I'm willing to give to poor kids for example but people who are working, having salaries but cannot manage their budgets - I'm sorry.
• Philippines
15 Jun 11
Yes, it's no longer helping him that we constantly support him. We should teach him to stand on his own, by letting him stand alone. That's what I am pointing out to my colleagues too, as I am explaining why I refused to help this time.
@AmbiePam (46171)
• United States
19 Jun 11
You are wise. And you did the right thing.