Love marriage or Arranged marriage! which is better?

India
June 16, 2011 9:41am CST
Hey folks what do you think is love marriage better than arrange marriage or is arrange marriage a better option and what will you choose if given a chance love marriage or arrange marriage?
5 responses
• India
16 Jun 11
Hey gamma9967, we being based from India, whenever we talk of wedding we try to equate it with arranged marriages. Here the social structure is such that we associate Indian marriages mainly with arranged marriages. Most of us feel that arranged marriage is the only concept of Indian society. Caste system gave once birth to arranged marriages, as the upper caste families never wanted their kids to marry outside their community/caste. The concept of love marriage was a taboo in ancient and medieval India as we have always had a tradition of arranged marriages.The idea, which was once a taboo, became more open and acceptable in the Indian society over the ages due to rational thinking and evolution of culture. But this change was seen notably only among the educated and so called 'higher class' Indians. The rural parts of our country still remain ignorant and unaware of love marriages. In spite of the umpteen number of social changes, arranged marriage still persists as a mandatory one. Love or arranged marriages is still a topic of hot debate in the Indian society. When a man and a woman go out on their first date, physical attraction plays the primary deciding factor. Same is in case of arranged marriage where the relationship starts only after the girl or boy likes each other. But there are certain things, which are found only in love marriages and not in arranged. Like spending time together and getting to know each other. Because when you have decided to spend the life together it is important you know the person. There should be metal compatibility and understanding among both of you. And this happens only when you spend time together. On this people may argue that even after knowing each other for so long than why people get divorced after marriage. It is because when two people are in love they are at their best to impress each other. They behave, they talk and they wear what the other person likes. But it is after marriage that you get to know the real person. There are couples who are still discovering each other even after twenty years of their marriage. This is the actual beauty of a relationship where everyday you discover a new thing about your partner. I wonder if there has been any successful love story where people have met on MyLot and gone to the extent of marriage ! Love or arranged marriage, both are based on empathy, responsibility, commitment, love and concern. So it's not just about initial love and attraction it needs a lot of dedication and effort to sustain a marriage. So there is nothing like an ideal marriage it's all about the way you perceive your marriage. After all you should be happy with your life partner irrespective of love or arranged marriage. Happy myLotting to you !!
• India
17 Jun 11
Yes buddy in ancient times love marriage was considered as a taboo and even now in India,love marriage is allowed by the higher classes because they are educated and most of the people who live in village still think that love marriage is a taboo.I think love,understanding of both the partners is needed for a marriage to be successful whether it is an arrange marriage or love marriage.
• India
17 Jun 11
Yes dear gamma9967, I hope everyone realizes the true meaning of love marriage and accept it into our society. After all, it is not a person's mistake to be born in so called "Upper" or "Lower" caste. I wish that everyone must truly understand what love actually means, to contain the increasing cases of divorce in our country.
• India
17 Jun 11
Yes even i hope that people change their thinking and accept love marriage in our culture and yes its not our fault as to whether we are born in upper or lower class and i think if our country gets good education then the thinking can change.
• Canada
16 Jun 11
Well with arranged marriage you know you will be guaranteed a partner in the future. With love you just have to hope you will fall in love one day. It's a risk and who knows if it will ever happen.
• India
16 Jun 11
Love is the most beautiful thing but it is risky also and yes arrange marriage guarantees us with a partner but we don't know much about that person and therefore we have to make adjustments according to it but in love marriage we know everything about our love.
• Canada
16 Jun 11
I believe you can grow to love someone. Think of your family.. You don't get to choose them either but you grow up with them and love them too.
• India
17 Jun 11
Yes you provided me with an excellent example buddy yes we never have the choice to choose our family but we still manage it so yes i think its possible to love someone whom we don't know and that will be a different experience.
@aweins (4203)
• India
20 Jun 11
hi gamma9967, my dear friend, i think and i believe that marriage is marriage. its an institution and one have to live in it, to practically live , i hope you understand what i wanna say or i m writing. At one point one can say that parents are gifted to us by GOD but life partners we have a choice to choose so love marriage is a very good choice there. but then, it is ok when you are in a long relationship with that person, you have seen all the ups and down, you understand each other very well, you know the shortcomings you are two but very much one and you know when to close your mouth if the other is in a bad mood or its a bad argument going on and there are many such things.so, its is pure understanding , i believe and how skilled you are in maintaining and building relationships. its never that if its a love marriage it will be successful, because the people know each other very well. i think it can be negative also. the people may be knowing each other but if they are not too open or transparent in a relationship it wont go or last. arranged marriage is also not a guarantee. it is same , mine was love arranged. but we are very equal and transparent with each other. there isnt anything that we dont know about each other. and we both give full freedom to do what ever individually we want to do. but what ever we do, we should truly share . but then arguments are arguments. its with everyone. the only intelligent thing we do is we blast on each other one by one and then stop. we do not take the topic or stretch it too much that it becomes a problem for us . we leave it there and move. we say sorry to each other , kiss hug and moves on. i think life is life , as one says that it is same , i agree to that also and then at the same time, i agree to that also that it is different with different people . so its your life its your decision and your abilities how you take over it . ita a car or a plane or a horse or you can say anything, you should be a good driver or a jockey to drive or ride it. an intelligent one who knows the cuts and curves and then the moves , is always successful, i believe. have a nice day and a happy married life ahead :-)
• India
20 Jun 11
Yes even i believe that both love marriage and arrange marriage has its pros and cons and both are acceptable if we get the correct partner then the marriage remains successful.
@angelo315 (232)
• Philippines
17 Jun 11
I prefer love marriage than arranged marriage. I was married last 2008 via love marriage. Marriage is a sacred bond between two souls, a relationship in which a male and a female promise to be companions for a life span after tying the nuptial knot. And an essential ingredient of marriage is love. Sometimes, love is not present in an arranged marriage. Love, trust, loyalty, patience, respect, understanding, appreciating are some of the keywords of a successful marriage. On the other hand, if all these are in marriage, whether arranged or love marriage, it is bound to be a happy and an everlasting love. :)
• India
17 Jun 11
Congrats that you are lucky to be married with a person whom you loved and yes most of them will prefer love marriage but it is not the case every time.Love,understanding,trust,respect consist of a successful marriage so i believe that it does not matter whether if it is an arrange marriage or love marriage until and unless all those qualities required are fulfilled.
@polaris77 (2019)
• Bacau, Romania
16 Jun 11
It can only be love marriage;an arranged marriage may bring some stability,but if there's no love between the partners,it can't be considered a successful marriage and I guess people involved in such arranged marriage are very unhappy;I can't imagine what's it like to be obliged to marry someone against your heart.
• India
17 Jun 11
Yes its indeed true that love should prevail in a marriage whether it is a love marriage or whether it is an arranged marriage because without love relationship does not last for long and life becomes a compromise.