What can I do to help my boyfriend??

United States
June 17, 2011 6:21pm CST
So my boyfriend and I have been together over a year, I just turned 19 and he's turning 19 in November. His dad is really tough on him, he's like a slave to his dad and is hardly ever allowed to leave his house unless it's to go to work. He's a good kid and doesn't get in trouble and does everything his dad tells him to do. This situation has been bothering me for a while now, it breaks my heart to see the one I love go through this. Today it got even worse, his dad made a surprise visit while he was supposed to be at work and saw that my boyfriend didn't mow the lawn correctly. Of course, I was there and my boyfriend got into even more trouble. His dad grounded him from seeing me until he gets a 2nd job (his dad wants my bf working 80 hours a week which is insane). I wish there was something I could do to help him. Neither of us have enough money to make on our own so he's sort of stuck until he can get his actual career started. I don't think there's a whole lot I can do to help him except just try and be there for him and be supportive and optimistic for him. Sorry this is kind of long, I just really needed a place to vent because I'm so upset about this :(
4 responses
@Xansus (950)
• Bulgaria
18 Jun 11
I just typed things and deleted it :( This is just sad and i dont know what to say - parents are parents even a bad ones :( But i pray that you find happiness lately after you both or he have his career going :)
• United States
18 Jun 11
Thank you so much :) I know we'll be able to get through this, it's just hard right now because it feels like the situation won't get better. With time I know it will, I'm just praying it'll be soon. Thanks for the kind words and support!!
@Rtlsnk316 (1197)
• Mexico
18 Jun 11
It is hard as you explained, for your bofriend to be in that position, but then again, how can you obligate a minor to work 80 hours a week? Is it even legal where you live at? If he is working, doesn't he make enough money to support himself and at least leave the house? Hopefully your boyfriend decides whatever is best for him and both of you, it is a very nice thing that you support him but still, it's his decision to do whatever it's needed to move forward.
• United States
18 Jun 11
He's technically not a minor since he's 18. But still, for him to work 80 hours a week it would mean he's literally working most of the day and into the night and no room for anything else. He makes pretty good money at his job now but each month he pays his car bill, insurance, and phone bill. This doesn't leave him with a lot left over at the end of the month. His mom and I have a really good relationship and I'm going to talk to her and tell her how concerned I am.
• Netherlands
17 Jun 11
Maybe he has family where he can stay? It sounds really awfull living there with him. Do you have an idea why his dad is so tough on him, your bf sounds like a good guy so it is hard to understand why his dad is so tough.
• United States
18 Jun 11
The only family he has lives like 12 states away :( It's just the way his dad is, nothing is ever good enough for him and he's constantly getting after my boyfriend about stupid little things. I have no idea why he acts like that, it's not like my boyfriend drinks, smokes, or does stupid things. He's a sweetheart, but his dad is just plain mean
@xxj3ffxx (501)
• Australia
19 Jun 11
Working for his father is not too bad I think.. even though his dad is very strict to him... at least I believe that how he becomes how he is right now. Hard work and discipline always change people to the better. I think if he doesnt mind of working hard for his dad, you shouldnt interfere, as a girlfriend, you should help him in his work as a good encouragement to him and maybe, his dad will thank you instead