June 18, 2011 5:35am CST
I am American and met an Italian guy and moved to Italy.I have been here 7n years,At frist it was so nic he was making good money and we lived in Florence so it was easy to get around and diffrent thogs to do even if it was going to a park and reading a book.I have not been able to find a job here due to the economy and my language barrier. we moved from Florence and have been in a country side area for 3 years now.I do not own a car and there is no where to go even on bike.I am stranded and with no friends. He does not make as much money anymore so we do nothing really.I stay at home and clean everyday.The same thing day after day after day.When I ask to go out he gets so angry .I know money is low but there are things that are fre like a bike ride or going to a lake.But he makes me feel it a dumb idea always.I even mentioned we could go play tennis even though just for fun nothing competitive he laughed at me and said "Yeah right you could splay tennis" Im also a singer and have made demos.He supports me not even with kind wds as to how I sound.I feel so sad and almost just have given up. Day after day the same thing.Im not able to leave this house.I dont care for my neighbors.They have kids and I do not.I juts feel so hopeless.O get on FB and see how all my friends are doing things and smiling and look at mydels pretending to smile in my pics I put on FB. Im not so religious but I do talk in my mind to "God" and say there has to be some happiness in my life.I am constantly remembering those relationships I had when I was younger the ones that made me so happy...and want that back more than anything. Im so lost and so sad.I look everyday to try and find ways to make money online but never anything I can do from here.I start and then it says because I am abroad and sign with American based sites I cannot..Is there a light in this situation.Will things change.Is there someone up there listening to me.at this point I dont know....Anyone out there?..Anyone who can help make a change...
18 Jun 11
I felt so sad, reading your problem autunno. It seems like you really love your partner. Because you are not rebelling against him. You just stayed even if it makes you sad. Am I right? Correct me if I'm wrong. Have you ask yourself if it's worth it? I mean the relationship? Being with him? Often times, there's significant gap between the time we realize a relationship isn't working and the time we pull the plug. I think, you already have in your mind what you wanted to do with your life but your just not making any actions about it. Autunno, sometimes we forget we have a choice. You've become a pair. You more commonly use the term "we" than "I". It takes you a while to realize that relationships aren't written in stone. Relationships should broaden your horizons and add to life's joys. When you find that your relationship has closed you off and made happiness impossible, it's time to remember that you chose this, and now you can choose again. Both of you deserve to be happy, not just him, not just you. Try expressing to him how you really feel. Good Luck and God bless for what you've been through right now. Be Happy! ;-)
• Delhi, India
19 Jun 11
Hi Autunno, Don't get disheartened don't loose hope you need to talk to him regarding this issue and make him understand your feelings. You should make him convinced to get shifted to city side because you may get a job there which will solve both the purposes like money at home & you will not feel alone if you start going to work somewhere. Another option for you is to have kids because by having kids at least for 2~3 years your mind will get divert & you will find you time passes with the baby easily. But for both the potions you need to talk to him & convince him to take actions.
19 Jun 11
Yikes! That's sad. I don't think if i can help that much, but what I'm looking at here is not your love life but the money problem. Correct me if I'm wrong. You can talk to everyone about this and nothing will happen if you don't interact that much in the outside world. But if money can solve your problem there are many online jobs that can help you. Tell me what you can do through the internet, maybe I can help. If you can write about anything something like blogs or anything like that. If you need to keep in touch you can send me request through my facebook account. "Michael Butch Puno" that's my facebook account. I hope you keep in touch!
18 Jun 11
Hi..I am really sorry for you. But the best wa i would suggest is to talk to him. You've been with him for quite some time and hence you must be knowing him. Just make him understand that you need a change. Never get frustrated.. Keep telling yourself that happiness is waiting around the corner. Things will be fine. positive thinking is something that is a must. the minute you have this attitude of positive thinking...you will see things differently and hence enjoy life. Happiness doesn't always come to us...it's upto us to make it up :) All the best dear :) bless You.
• South Korea
18 Jun 11
I guess your the only one who can make a change... well I feel you there Im also married to a foreigner and Im also leaving in his country and yes its hard to find really good friends... but everytime I make new friends they were just causing problems to me... and sometimes bad influence I know... its my fault well Im too lonely thats why im trying to make friends and friendship should be what it should and not just using you... so far maybe I am better without them... and Maybe your husband gets angry when you ask him to go out even without using money.. because he also has a lot of stress maybe.. think of his situation too Im sure he just wanna give everything to you, thats what makes it hard.. My advice is talk to him and let him know what you really feel and be ready to listen him too..Im sure not only you guys has a problem when it comes to money.. theres a reason why your still with him for seven years now... and always remember that..