i was provoked . . .

@SIMPLYD (86382)
Philippines
July 4, 2011 9:46pm CST
After a month, I am ready to tell all of you my fellow mylotters about this. My officemate, the HR –OIC and I had a heated argument at the office early morning last month over something I have to discuss separately. All my officemates saw and heard it ,including how we ended it so-so. In the middle of the afternoon, the said HR –OIC went to my cubicle and gave me a small plateful of sautéed noodles and a cake, but there was a smirk on her face. It was her birthday blow-out she said. I politely refused it and said I am still very full since I had a very heavy lunch. But she left the food at my table. Thinking that I just wouldn’t be able to eat it, and for others to be able to have it, I returned it silently to the table where she is portioning the foods to other. As I returned to my cubicle , I heard her in a very loud voice , done intentionally for everyone to hear , say “YOU DON’T LIKE IT BECAUSE IT CAME FROM ME, FINE!”. Then I heard one employee said, “you shouldn’t have offered her anymore “. They then laughed. But I kept my cool. Then after an hour as she passed by my cubicle , she loudly said “Imbyerna” ( I’m pissed). The others just kept silent. Again I kept my cool, though I know it was meant for me. As dismissal comes, I was calling my office mate to ask whether we will ride home together. I clearly heard the HR –OIC mimicked me calling my office mate. That was my last straw, I stood up, went to her table and I was so angry, I told her while pointing my finger at her “why are you mimicking me and provoking even early on, when as an HR you should be a model of integrity , yet you are instigating anger!” . She denied and pointed out an office mate who is one of her closest, did it. But I heard her . So, there, I lashed out at her with hurting words, then I went to my cubicle, still so angry. The room was so silent. I regretted my action afterward, because I have kept my cool to her for how many times, and yet wasn’t able to hold on until dismissal. But I had been to much provoked , I lost my cool. Was I very bad?
4 responses
@ravisivan (14053)
• India
14 Jul 11
I am reading this after posting comment on ur using the car and memo issued. Look u got memo only because of your refusing to accept the cake. Whenever a person gives some small gift it is ideal to accept it, keep it with you either you eat or take home or put it in dust bin without others knowing it. These options are better than what you did. HR doesn't like you - You do not like her because you are close to Boss. these things happen in organisations. - my view - yes you could have behaved softly.
@SIMPLYD (86382)
• Philippines
15 Jul 11
I guess, you are right. Had i controlled myself more, after her taunting me to get angry that wouldn't have happened. But i am only human and i have my limits. They don't like me because when i see them not doing according to our office policies, i would report it to my boss. But seldom would i do that, because i am a considerate person.
@ravisivan (14053)
• India
15 Jul 11
it is easy to say that we should control. When it comes to me probably I also react harshly. I have suffered on account of this many times in my 32 year career. But in almost all cases one way or other some other person will come to my rescue. I was reminded of my experiences when I read yours. You are doing a good job. You are close to your boss. But this should not make you feel proud. that is all. blessings and good wishes
@SIMPLYD (86382)
• Philippines
18 Jul 11
Actually, my boss is a very fair. She wants to hear the sides of everybody so she let the HR Manager investigate about it. But she know me to be a kind and understanding woman. So when she heard about it, she had it investigated and find out that i was indeed provoked and pushed to my limit.
@sanjay91422 (2728)
• India
6 Jul 11
I never read such long posts but I read this one. I think you did a good job but one thing you can do is split the tension with the humor. Just don't care about the words she says. If it was her birthday then I think you should have that part of the noodles. It is one time celebration in one year so one must forget the fights and must take such opportunities to come closer to people. I am not asking to get drunk with the office mates but just a little party is always acceptable. That is all I think about it.. have a nice day .
@SIMPLYD (86382)
• Philippines
6 Jul 11
I could have very well do that, had i not been full still. What i am thinking is for others to get my share of the food, so that's why i returned them. I guess, i was also offended with the smirk on her face when she gave me that noodles. How i wish i could rewind that day, and could have not returned that noodle and could have just left it at my table until dismissal.
• Philippines
5 Jul 11
Respect- that is something that SHE lost what she has nothing more than power rather than showing a good example. she should have respected you're view of not accepting the meal. pathetic that she gave a meaning and a wrong impression at that..
@SIMPLYD (86382)
• Philippines
6 Jul 11
No wonder, almost everyone here at the office have complains about her attitude and the way she interprets some rules of the company. Though, i was told that she was nonetheless reprimanded by her Manager, after the confrontation. That explains for her being so kind to me now. We are again good towards each other.
@toniganzon (53565)
• Philippines
5 Jul 11
No you weren't. You're just being human acting on instinct when you're hurt. You tried your best to keep your cool and you've been very professional. WE can't just hold on to our patience when we are continuously being attacked. Sometimes we need to defend ourselves too and show other people that we do get hurt.
@SIMPLYD (86382)
• Philippines
6 Jul 11
That's very true Toni. Although, had it been that i was the only one hearing her "parinigs", i could have still kept my cool until dismissal. But , humiliating me in front of the other employees, was another story. The hurt will be so much greater.