MEN ! This question is for you
By SilverVixen
@SilverVixen (284)
United States
July 16, 2011 10:26pm CST
Is it normal for a man to show his wife no romance or intimacy besides s3xual gestures? I married knowing my husband wasn't a romantic, so I'm not expecting a candle lit dinner or flowers or anything like that. But why can I not receive attention that is not s3xual? There are other parts of me he can touch besides my butt, b00bs, and you know... I even ask why he cannot rub my arm or sides instead of going straight for the private areas. I tell him I know he finds me attractive, but there is a time and place for those touches and its not in front of our kids or the minute he walks in the door from work. I ask why its so hard to just kiss me instead. I either get no reply or he says I'm just b!tching. So guys, is this normal? Or how should I adress this so he understands I would like to feel loved emotionaly and not just s3xually? Ladies you can answer too, I just really want a man's point of view because I can't seem to get my husbands.
2 responses
@Fireheart (683)
• India
25 Aug 11
Hello dear, it seems you hunger for love, maybe your husband dont know how to express love to you may be he thinks the gesture he shows is what love is. its pure lack of knowledge, better make him watch some love movies or something so far am sure on how i would treat my wife the excitement and romatic touch i would never let go of thats so like me, i dont like to fill my own pleasure i sort to satisfy others just to see them happy.
@SilverVixen (284)
• United States
27 Oct 11
Ha ha I've actually tried to get him to watch romance movies and say I wish he would do something like that for me. Most of the time he says the guy is stupid(or some other mean term) for doing that just to get a woman's attention. So thanks for the idea, but it doesn't work. And its weird you would say something about satisfying others. He helps anyone he can, he's even nice to people he barely knows or people who have screwed him over. But for me he won't try to help our relationship. He has even said (not about me but in context to anybody) that it isn't his fault someone does not like him.they can either accept him how he is or leave him alone. I don't get how he was really nice when we first got together,but now he's a different person, and I just have to accept it.
@crimsonladybug (3112)
• United States
17 Jul 11
I think everyone has their own idea of what "romance" is. One of the most romantic lines I've ever heard in a song is "I just wanted to say your f*cking beautiful, I just need you to know how much I care, you are the air that I breathe." But a lot of people don't see it that way (partly...mostly because of that little f-bomb, which is actually my favorite part).
I don't know if it would help to show him, rather than tell him, your ideas of romance. You want him to just stroke your arm or back or sides, maybe do that to him once in a while?
I am probably not the best person to be giving advice on this subject. I'm terminally single because I am looking for a man who shares my ideas about what makes something romantic. Because I'm not all about candle lit dinners and flowers... I mean...If he brings me a bouquet of my favorite flowers or of wildflowers he went out and picked himself (kind of cool just because it's illegal to pick wildflowers on government land and most of Colorado is but also there is the making an effort factor)...but roses...pish posh, no thanks. But take me to a concert or for a stroll along a crowded street with lots of little shops, some street performers...that, to me, is romantic.
@SilverVixen (284)
• United States
27 Oct 11
Thanks for your reply. And I have tried to show him how I want to be touched, but he either pushes me away because he "doesn't like that" or makes me touch his privates. Which I totally get, but I don't think he understands that he might like or not like something that I dont or do like. And I think we have the same idea of romance. I would rather him buy me a plant than a bunch of flowers. But he used to pick wild flowers for me. He promised me a picnic about 5 years ago that we still haven't gone on. He uses our kids as an excuse for not taking me on a date(among other things.) But he won't let my mom watch them, only his family. And we have talked to his family maybe twice in the past 6 months so its inappropriate at least, to go out... the more I write about him the more I feel like he doesn't care...
