what would you do.
By Clara Cook
Rothesay, New Brunswick
August 4, 2011 10:49am CST
Basically I have been in love with the same guy for about 22 Years.I also know he loves me back. I have always felt he was my soulmate because, even if we never see each other for years the feelings never change, and we make constant eye contact that seems drawn together and speak silent coversations to each other. However there have been things that happened that have led us on different paths that keep intersecting every five years. many misunderstandings and lack of letting the other know how we feel. Each time there is years gaps, the missing him gets stronger. The last time we saw each other he told me he wanted to be with me, but nobly I refused because he's married. Though now I miss him even more Knowing how many times we missed our chance to be. The five year mark is nearly up, and I feel that crossing coming. I'm wondering if I should continue to prolong what should be or finally give in when he breaches the subject again....
5 Aug 11
Well, that's a very difficult situation, but if he's married that means he's not as attached to you as you're to him, so I think you should move on and when the time comes, you will probably find another person to fall in love with. Married man who have the time to cheat are not a good idea, and if he can cheat on his wife or husband, he will cheat on you too. Cheaters are always repeaters.
4 Aug 11
I know letting go someone we truly love is hard. it will take us years to finally let go of them and accept the fact that that person wont be part of us anymore. But if he's the right guy for you then many signs will show that he's the one. for now, he is married so better let him go, and maybe that someone right for you is just right behind you and not him.
• Rothesay, New Brunswick
4 Aug 11
I agree with all of you it is what I have been doing the past 8 years, refusing to allow myself to get caught up in this mess. There are things I did leave out. This guy was brought up to "Take Responsibility". We were on and off and never labeled it. On an off time he was seeing another, we lived 50 miles apart and when I returned he went to cut it off and was hit with a bombshell. I knew before I was even told, (another reason I know) I had a dream he was chasing me around his home town with a "shotgun" he shot my foot and then began to "tend" the wound. He said he was "sorry, for the pain" but he had "no choice" and to "never let go" When I woke I told my aunt who looked white and said "shotgun wedding" so I contacted family who were up there and was told that indeed is what happened. I sent him word, that I understood. Back about 4.5 years ago when he confessed all. She'd come to me a few days before that all upset over them fighting and that night she was going on about that letter I had sent. She questioned me on the meaning. I was stunned I did not know how to answer her, and I hate lieing. So I did the only thing that came to mind and looked him in the eyes. He wasn't impressed she questioned me and blew up at her told her to mind her own business and stay out of his past. Thats when he took me outside and admitted everything because at that point I only knew we had split, and he ended up marrying her. Though I know why he stays I don't understand why he stays, when hes not happy. Friends have noted it its documented in pics, and friends even comment how different he is around me vs around her. So I was confused if by standing my ground and holding strength for both of us, if I truly am doing the right thing. Or if he is waiting to be told what I assume him to know, before he makes his choice. After all he is so much like me that its possible he sees it, but can't believe it until I tell him so. Like he did with me.
• United States
4 Aug 11
This seems to be a complex situation, being that he is married. I believe that you have to reach a level of contentment and peace in the situation. Trust me, I know its not an easy task. I haven't been in this particular situation, but similar. It is up to him to make the choice of who he wants to be with and you must decide whether you will hang on for the ride. Love will take you places that you would never imagine sometimes. I've always said if you love something or someone so badly you would sacrifice for it.
• United States
4 Aug 11
I'm so sorry about your situation! I think what you should do is, not forget about him (that's impossible) but to learn to be content with the fact that you can't be together. HOWEVER, i wouldn't dismiss the idea entirely. Basically, I think you should learn to be okay with either outcome. You have to say to yourself "he might leave his wife one day and we'll be together, but if he doesn't I'm okay" I honestly think that's the best way to go about a situation like this.