Just Joking?

United States
August 9, 2011 9:58am CST
Ok you have a lover that likes to joke around. There is nothing wrong with having a good sense of humor. However, how would you feel if your lover joked around about cheating on you? What would you do? How would you react?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@Amanda81587 (3046)
• United States
9 Aug 11
I believe that joking can be entertaining but there comes to a point where you draw a line on what you joke about. There are something's that are just plain right not funny and this subject would be one of them. I would probably get mad because I would not know if there were any truth to the joke but I would look into it and watch.
• United States
9 Aug 11
Hi Amanda, Thanks for your feedback. My lover actually played this joke on me Thursday. I laughed it off because I know we joke around about a lot of things. It started to bother me, so I communicated it to him Sunday. Told him that wasn't something to joke around with. He blew it up into something big and made me look like the villain. I had to fight to get the thought of him cheating out of my head..Just a thought. I really believe he is faithful. He told me that if I really loved him, then the thought wouldn't have never came up..I'm like, are you serious? We are human. He said we're gonna have problems if you cant take a joke. He turned this thing around to blame me. I didn't mean for it to blow-up, but he took it there. All I wanted him to do was take responsiblity for his actions.
• United States
9 Aug 11
Well he actually needs to learn that jokes are okay but not when they put things into your head. I would do the same to him and joke around about cheating likehe did and see how he likes it. I bet you he will respond the same as you.
• United States
10 Aug 11
So on point Amanda. I actually asked him how wouold he feel. He said knowing him, he would've seen it as a joke, and it wouldn't have bothered him.It was his pride talking.I said ok. Time will tell, because I'm gonna test this thing. He's not being honest and real with himself. I had to let go because I starting beating myself up.
• Philippines
9 Aug 11
im gonna punch her over the face and if she said, i was just joking, then ill tell her oh! the punch was a joke too you know.. well! i was joking!..anyways, if shes joking then i will leave it be.. i mean nothing seems wrong at it.. well if it of course not offends me.. but if it do, i guess i deserve some apology from her... so i will tell her that she has offended me..
• United States
9 Aug 11
Thanks Keith, He didn't apologize right off. He blew it up to something bigger and tried to flip the strip instead of apologizing right off. He apologized after I stood up to him. He called back saying he was sorry. I let him know that he needed to take responsibility for his part and stop being caught up in pride. He needed to be broken down, and I'm glad I could do the honors. He's been hurt and I told him I understand that. At the same time, who hasn't been? I have too. But he can't allow his self to get in the way of loving others...
• Philippines
9 Aug 11
ahh! the pride of a man.. i have one too.. but i have learned to swallow it, all for the sake of love.. well i guess, everything is going smoothly now..
• United States
9 Aug 11
So true..That is what its all about Keith. What will we do and won't do for love? I have to ask myself that question from time to time
@vicereine (458)
• United States
9 Aug 11
Jokes are good fun until it becomes something a bit too personal I think. For me there are just certain things that are not meant to be funny at all and cheating on someone is one of those things. I think that it would be a huge red flag that maybe the relationship for him is not as serious as he lets on. Maybe he is just trying to find a way to vent his thoughts or concerns but joking about it is not a good idea because I would high tail it and run. Anyone who thinks cheating is funny or can be made a joke of is not really ready for a commitment.
• United States
9 Aug 11
Thank you for your response. My lover made me feel like the villain because I didn't like the joke. Went even further and said that he's not gonna walk on egg shells because I can't take a joke. How insensitive is that? I told hime that he has too much pride and he is wearing a mask. Basically, he was ego tripping saying THIS IS ME, SO GET USED TO IT. I told him, I don't think so. Confidence is one thing, but pride is so dangerous. We had a a disagreement over this, which I think needed to happen. He needed to see himself because he always love to point out the flaws of others. We are in a fairly new relationship. He told me after we had this disagreement that no one has stood up to him like that and he has met his match..He is right, I voice my opinion and back down from anyone.......
• United States
9 Aug 11
Also, thanks for the advice. I'm gonna watch this thing closely!!
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Aug 11
That is the best attitude to have, don't take anything from anyone. You should be able to voice your opinion without him thinking that you are evil or something. I personally was in your situation a while back and unfortunately for me the joke became a reality but hopefully in your case it won't. Mine told me the same, "you need to laugh and have fun, it's only a joke" but to me it was hurtful and I thought he just didn't care. It's like you say his pride is getting in the way and what we call it in the Mexican tradition is "machismo" meaning the man is always right and the woman wrong. Basically machismos want the women barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen and under their foot. Of course I have an attitude like yourself so I wasn't having it with my last partner and high tailed it out of that relationship. It's good you put him in his place, he needs to know that you are a strong, independent and self thinking woman, don't ever lose those qualities.
@Dominique25 (9476)
• United States
9 Aug 11
I think that wouldn't be a good way to joke around. It puts doubts in a person's mind. That would cause me to wonder if the person I'm with really did cheat on me. Hopefully that wouldn't be the case. I would try to have an open conversation about it. I feel it would be important to know if he was just joking or if something really happened. If this has happened to you, you should talk more with the person about the situation. Hopefully that will bring your mind some relief from what your thinking.
• United States
9 Aug 11
Thanks Dominique, We discussed it, but I was made to be the villain in the situation, but I didn't back down..I've experienced a lot in my liftime, and I have grown. I wont tolerate things now that I have in the past. If he wants to keep ego tripping, I will let him go in a heartbeat...
• United States
9 Aug 11
Also, I don't believe he's cheating, but I believe its in his heart...
@alquizar (480)
• Philippines
11 Aug 11
I really like guys who had good sense of humor but if ever he is cheating on me inspite that I am being honest with him I think I can't accept it and I don't want to waste my time on him knowing that he is just fooling me around.