It's him and me against the world once again
By pbbbsra
@pbbbsra (1214)
Philippines
August 10, 2011 4:13pm CST
I have recently posted our dog giving birth for the first time and it was a success. Now we have 8 little puppies. They are new born and very sensitive at this time. We are new with breeding and we don't know most of the things yet. We read it from internet and asks from long time breeders too... Today my father in law saw me and my hubby taking care of the pups with four eyes. He knew that we feed them every two hours and that means we barely get to sleep... MY husband is working so as much as I can I try to do most of the tasks and let him have more rest than me. My in law keep telling my husband that he's mind is not working. We are getting tired for nothing. We are wasting our time for a stupid hobby... and all sort of other things. I love my in-law but I feel pain for my husband. He doesn't have any other thing as a hobby. He only works and then come home to be with me. He doesn't even like hanging out with work friends. It was painful hearing those things, and I can see how it affected my husband. I also feel tired looking after the dogs, but every time I see my husband's happiness when he see his dogs... I just end up loving the dogs too...
I did not say anything and just pretended everything is fine. But at the end of the day, I told my husband everything is okey... I told him I am with him and he is not doing anything stupid. I told him he is working very hard and I don't see anything wrong with doing what he liked... My husband won't talk, but I see how he was affected by what has been said to him...
his pain... I feel it twice as much as he does...
If you were on my situation, will you say something to your inlaw or like me, you'd just keep quiet.
3 people like this
6 responses
@thetis74 (1525)
•
10 Aug 11
Well, since it is our in-laws we can't help but just keep quiet. Some people just don't understand how important and worthwhile some other people's hobby are. Before I had a child they say that we are raising dogs for our children. I it is so cruel to say that because animals are living things. And they can't seem to realize that some things they don't like can actually make some people happy. Just don't mind him. It was a hurting thing to say. And he is supposed to be the father and he should have been more supportive of him. Just tell your hubby not to mind him and just enjoy your puppies. They will grow up anyway and they will require less care than they do now. Congratulations!
@pbbbsra (1214)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
I always tell him, no matter what people say... I know and feel how his hobby is making him happy. Almost everyone in the family is against the dogs and want to get rid of them. But it is not that easy. After caring for them that much, letting them go is not easy. Nobody wants to understand that we too are planning to have our own children this year and that the dogs are not a problem since they will be kept at the ranch. He even told us stop looking after the pups since the mom knows better. But we just can't live them like that because they are still small and sensitive. We talked about it and decided to keep doing things as we like and just don't mind the things being said. Yes, we are sleepless and tired, but caring for a life and seeing it grow everyday is just worth it...
@se7enthbird (8307)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
my inlaws, well the mother of my wife is a lady of few words. and she is not the kind of person who will tell things that would make a person feel bad. as long as we or i dont do anything that is bad then all i will hear from her are good words. the problem is my side of the family. my parents wanted me to marry a different person but i choose the one i love and married my wife. so she is the one ho hears bad things from my family. my youngest sister even told her "why dont you work?" for my wife is a stay at home wife taking care of our child. getting back to your post as long as it makes you both happy and as long as this is nothing bad then go on. your inlaw said that this is something stupid and i disagree. for you are taking care of a life. it is not human but dogs are living things too. needs food and shelter. maybe your inlaw wanted you both to spend time on having a child,maybe that is the reason why he says things like this. it what you both do your husband feels contentment and happy so no need to stop doing it. enjoy and hope your pups be stronger as days passed by.
@pbbbsra (1214)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
We have that fear of having a child in this time... we want a child so much and is planning to have this year... but when we think that we will still be in the same house... it's not easy. I am telling him, when we have a child, I want to decide things on my own.I don't know... I'm so down. We love each other so much, We are happy together being married... But most of the decisions we do, we have to ask first... We always do things with fear and it's just something we can't free ourselves from. MY husband's family also wanted someone else for him... but he chose me, I am very thankful for that. But sometimes I agree, there are whispers from the back and comparisons. Those are something I can stand and understand, but when they treat my husband in that manner.. MY heart is breaking into pieces, and since I am the daughter in law, I can't do anything but shut up.
@se7enthbird (8307)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
i know what you feel, for that is what my wife feels too but lucky that we dont live with them. i can imagine how hard it would be for her if we live with my parents. i agree that having a child is more complicated if you will live ith your inlaws and its hard to raise kids when there is someone around who always is against on what you wanted to do. i hope you can find a good place to start and where you can be you. good luck.
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
10 Aug 11
I might have said something to them, but I'd definitely say something to him like you did. If it was just one time, I might not, but if they keep saying stuff like that, I know eventually I'd be confronting them about it.
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
No, I will never answer back to my FIL if I were in your situation. I will just keep my mouth shut if only for the respect for an elderly. At any rate, just consider the fact that you FIL is just concern although he does not know how to express his concern in a more civilized manner. Nevertheless don't lose respect to the old man. Just keep your hobby if that pleases both of you. Don't allow the FIL harsh words to affect you that much. Certainly those who are not fond of dogs will find you really wasting time but if you are happy with what you are doing then go!
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
11 Aug 11
Maybe you could've said something if you're there when it actually happens. Say it in a nice way so it doesn't seem like you're attacking them, just mention your husband's schedule and that this is something he's passionate about. If not, I definitely would've done what you did and actually say something to your husband to make him feel better.
It's hard to see the one you love upset because it just makes you feel awful and helpless. And it's good for your husband to have something to take care of, it makes him feel needed by others, and not just you. Plus, I'm sure taking care of newborn puppies can have very rewarding moments. Keep your husband's spirits up! Don't let his family make him feel bad for doing something he loves.
@rawar31 (112)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
10 Aug 11
Keep encouraging your husband. You would be surprised how much your words mean to him.In laws can be so much of a problem but you need to realize that the family that takes priority is you your husband, your kids if you have any and now the dogs are a part of your family. Just keep letting him know that you are with him and that you support the things that make him happy- like him loving taking care of the pups.People will always have their opinions of everything-but you and your must do what brings happiness to you. Goodluck
